(Closed) My coworker is leaving. What should I do with the invite?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: My assistant is leaving in a week, should I keep the invite for her and her plus one?

    Don't invite her. You don't have any relationship with her.

    Keep the invite. It's weird to retract invitation.

  • Post # 2
    Member
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    That sounds incredibly rude.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1240 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    It would be rude to un-invite someone. Just hope that she doesn’t show up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    992 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    dkfls:  If you hadn’t sent the invite, I think it would be fair to not invite her…but to retract an invitation because you no longer feel obligated is so incredibly rude.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    47439 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    dkfls:  There is no polite way to retract an invitation already extended.

    I disagree with your premise that you had to invite all or none. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to limit invitations to those people with whom you have a social relationship outside work. You chose otherwise.

    Post # 6
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee

    It sounds like you might have invited her (and some co-workers) out of not singling out anyone. I don’t think there isn’t a single bride out there (except for those who elope or have a 2 person wedding) that can’t relate or hasn’t been there.

    Unfortunately, I think you might have to let things be. There’s really no comfortable way to approach a person after you invited them and somehow uninvite them. I mean, technically you could, but is that really something you’re happy to do?

    Two things will come about: 1) She’ll come and all of your co-workers will use it as a time to celebrate you and catch up with each other  or 2) She might decline knowing that she’s leaving. 

    Overall – I honestly think that you’ll be too busy having fun with your wonderful husband to care if she attends 🙂  Congratulations on your wedding in a few months!

    Post # 7
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Oops I clicked dont invite her by mistake!! I read it wrong, if you have already invited her how would you possibly uninvited her? Awkward!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2445 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Since you already gave it to her, I think it’d be weird/awkward to do anything otherwise.

    “It may be weird to see her at the wedding two months after she leaves work.”

    I think she’ll probably feel the same way and decline.

    Post # 9
    Member
    244 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    dkfls:  Oh no, this is why you shouldn’t invite co-workers unless he or she is also your BFF. If you haven’t sent the invite (maybe you sent a STD), then don’t worry about it. I sent someone a StD, but I’m thinking of not sending her an invite bc we simply don’t talk/hang out anymore (it’s what can happen when sending stuff out 8 mo in advance). HOWEVER, if you already gave her an invite, that’s kind of your loss. It is rude to retract an invite. But if it’s really bothering you and you will never see her again, it is your day, so do what you want with it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    15201 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If you already invited them, you cant take it back.  I think it was your mistake in the first place to invite all these people you don’t have a relationship outside of the work place with.  It certainly did not have to be a all or nothing type of thing.

    Post # 12
    Member
    923 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    dkfls:  Actually, the same thing happened to me. I invited my coworkers (almost all of us have worked together for 10+ years so, yes, I did feel like I should invite them). By The Way, all of them responded yes, with their spouses. After RSVPing yes, one gave her notice last week and her last day of work is 4/1 (the wedding is 4/18). While I did not retract her invite, I did email and let her know that I was sorry she was leaving but let her know that I hoped she would still attend the wedding. She ended up saying, no, she was no longer coming because she’s moving out of state. 

    So, while I don’t think you can “uninvite” her at this point, realize that she will likely decline anyway especially if you aren’t really “friends” to begin with. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2256 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    dkfls:  150 isn’t exactly a “small” wedding. I think you made the mistake of assuming this all-or-nothing mentality. I work in a school. I can’t invite every teacher. So I’m inviting ONE peer and her husband. It sucks, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

    If you haven’t sent out the paper invitation yet, then don’t. But if you’ve sent the invitation, you’re duck’s cooked. 

    Chances are she won’t come if she’s not working there anymore if you send an invite.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2256 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    dkfls: Unless you messed up and over-invited you sort of have to lay in your bed now. Uninviting someone JUST because they don’t work with you anymore is incredibly rude.

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