(Closed) My Coworker Scheduled Her Vacation on the SAME DAYS As Our Honeymoon/Wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
173 posts
Blushing bee

@NothingSaid:  “I got to work today, and was expecting to already have my time approved since I requested it before anyone else. “

You contradicted yourself.  Once people told you that you should have gotten it approved first, you claimed that you already did.  Your original post suggests otherwise.

Then you said

Everyone in our department knows my wedding date, and knew which dates I planned to have off since they asked.”

Everyone in your entire department knows your wedding date?  Then you are obviously talking about it too much, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you are doing too much wedding planning at work, or bringing your wedding stress to work, which is interfering with your performance.

Post # 63
4113 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NothingSaid:  I think its a problem that everyone in your department knows your wedding date, well its more so a problem that you expect them to remember it for some reason.

Not to mention, maybe your managers are asking if you’re done wedding planning because you talk about it too much at work. Why else would they seriously care?

It sounds like you need to take a hint.. just because your life revolves around the wedding, doesn’t mean everyone in your department has to care. I couldn’t imagine my reaction if someone who worked under me spoke to me like that.. and lacked the insight to realize that their behavior is obviously unprofessional if its being mentioned in the first place.



Post # 64
79 posts
Worker bee

@NothingSaid:  Have you pointed out to HR/your boss that Annie did in fact email you to find out your exact dates before requesting her time off? It seems rather passive aggressive of her to do that, seniority or not. And considering you requested the time off first, yours should be honored.

Post # 65
1908 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

This happened to me once with a vacation request. I asked for time off 3 months in advance, another co worker who had been there 30 years asked for the same time off three days before the time was to be taken and hers HAD to be approved over mine because of her longevity.

Thankfully, my boss and her boss both thought that was wrong to do to me because it basically means this woman could ask with next to no notice for time off and screw me over! There was nothing established for how much notice to give but there were rules established for longer serving employees getting time off approved ahead of others. In the end they gave us both the time off and shut down our department for a week.

So I think I understand where OP is coming from if it’s a similar situation. My vacation WAS approved, but it did NOT matter because if a longer serving employee wanted that time off they got it no matter what…

I hope they’re understanding in this situation and allow you the time off!!

FWIW – everyone knows my wedding date too…they ask me all the time how things are going etc…otherwise I never bring it up..but people ask me all the time and I don’t want to be rude of blow them off. So I answer and let them know. I think most people are trying to be friendly.

Post # 66
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NothingSaid:  Have you been planning your wedding during works hours? If not, then it’s none of their business.

P.S. If my request for time off for my wedding were denied I would be taking the time off anyway, no matter what. My bosses know this.

Post # 67
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

1. I doubt “annie” requested the time off just to ruin your acation. It is quit possible that there are more important things in her life than trying to upset you. I think everyone assuing Annie is doing this to be a bitch is completely over reaching, the OP doesn’t even know why Annie wanted the time off. If I had a vacation I took every year at the same time and already put a deposit down like some places need, you bet I would still put in for my vacation and see if my employer could figure comething out.

2. If your bosses (plural) have both asked when you will be done planning, I would take that as a sign that it is something they want checked at the door when you walk in.

Post # 68
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Moraz:  I like you Moraz…  Wink  I would like ask you a question since your a boss.  I would like to tell you how I would handle the situation and you can tell me if I’m wrong.  And let me state my fiance thinks I’m wrong all the time.  So, at thebteginning before buying any plane tickets I would have gone into the bosses office sat down with him and said something like, ‘I’m getting married and I’m planning a honeymoon.  I’d like to have __________ days off in the month of _______ so I can purchase my tickets and make arrangements for a hotel, etc.  Will you approve me?  Is there some way you can let me know I’m approved without the fear of being bumped by a co-worker who may have been here longer.  I’m asking because making these plans are very expensive.’

That said I’d approach Annie and ask why she made her time off to be the exact time off as mine.  Even if its a lie I’d want to know her reason.

Lastly, what is the deal with OPs boss asking if her planning is almost over.  OP please give a reason as to why he is asking you.  Something is going on that isn’t cool.  Bosses usually could care less as long as it does not affect your work.

And lastly lastly, its crazy a company would approve your time off then deny it.  Usually if the time off is approved even if a senior asks later thats to bad.  Something is not right with that.  

Post # 69
446 posts
Helper bee

Has someone told your Manager that you are ‘wedding planning’ DURING work hours? Otherwise it makes no sense.

Are you implying that the girl deliberately took the leave to block your chances of getting time off for your wedding?! What does your fiance say about this?

Can you change departments? 

It’s not your fault she is resentful, don’t take this inwardly onto yourself. It is an obstacle but it is not worth losing wedding joy over.

Try to do more things you like to take your mind off your office flurry.

Post # 70
638 posts
Busy bee

No place of employment is going to care that much about your special day, they care about what you are doing for them, and what they are paying you to do.  it sounds like you’re wedding planning on work time and everyone noticed.  Thats not what they are paying you to do.

Post # 71
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I had a fear the same would happen to me too. I recently switched departments at my work and got all my time approved in my new dept (no one has to replace me in my new position, so I can leave whenever). However, had I not switched depts there was a very high probability that I wouldn’t have even been approved my wedding day!!!  Only one full time could be off at one time, it’s high vacation request time, I’m the lowest in seniority in my old dept and there was one person whom I highly suspected (heard through the grapevine and I really dislike this lady anyway) that she was taking vacation the two weeks around my wedding ‘because she could’. Some people can be so rude.  Some employers are different around vacation than others and if a union is involved you have to take that into account too. Some people have been pretty critical but maybe theif work functions differently. Hope you get the time off!!!!


one thing we are going to do for honeymoon booking is cancellation insurance – just in case my employer throws a road block with vacay approval. 

Post # 72
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


It sounds like you are in the field of nursing perhaps…just saying

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