Post # 1
Member1473 posts
Bumble bee
- Jewelieee
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2015
WARNING – long story.
To preface, I’ve never had a good or close relationship with my mom. She is extremely irrational, delusional, and paranoid. She will piece together random facts in her head and draw up a false scenario based entirely on assumptions and refuses to be convinced otherwise. Plus she has always gotten too emotionally involved in my relationships under the guide of watching out for my interests (won’t get into those crazy stories here).
So a few nights ago, she randomly came into my room after I went to bed and said not to cling too much to the SO and if things don’t work out, she can set me up with some good guys. Where did that come from??? (FYI I’m temporarily living at home to save money.) I had lunch with my dad the following day and found out she said that she heard me crying and it must have been b/c SO told me that we won’t get married for 5 yrs. Ok for the record, I was sniffling from a nose spray that makes my nose run and I take it at night b/c it makes me drowsy. I mentioned to her once that there are couples who don’t get married for 5 yrs to get her to back off, NOT that SO said that to me about us.
She picks me up from the bus stop yesterday after work and when we get home, she starts kicking the side of SO’s car (parked at our house for now). Not the tires, but the doors where you could make dents. I asked her why she was kicking his car and she wouldn’t answer. I pushed and finally later that evening she said it’s b/c he’s basically scum and she hates him now. Why? B/c he hasn’t proposed to me after 9-10 mos of dating and she thinks it’s b/c he’s leading me on when he has the money to buy an e-ring now. In her mind, there must be no other reason as to why he’s waiting to buy a ring. She said he’s addicted (yes she used that word) to saving money. Of course she makes this assumption w/o knowing that he pays for most of our meals and bought me a $700 camera for Christmas.
In turn, she’s mad at me b/c she says I’m lying to her about not having cried and the 5 yrs thing. She’s absolutely convinced of what she heard me say and do. She called me all these names and said I was stupid for waiting for 5 yrs and that he was a horrible guy and she hates him. She doesn’t believe me when I said that we have made our own plans and timeline and that I will be engaged by end of 2013 if all goes well. My dad tried to get her to shut up but of course she doesn’t listen even though she’s like you should trust her and what she’s saying is right. He is full agremeent that she is nutso, as he’s the one married to my mom and has dealt with her irrational crap for years. She continued to shout things at me through my closed bedroom door after I stopped fighting with her b/c it was useless trying to reason with her.
Then this morning, I saw a foot long scratch on the side of SO’s car. I didn’t check to see if it was a surface skid mark or a real scratch. I did hear her last night puttering around outside so it’s quite possible that she vandalised his car.
I’ve told SO all this even though my dad said to keep it secret. I can’t keep something like this from him. I was so worried that he might break up with me, I mean who wants my mom for a future MIL? But he was understanding and said that he wouldn’t let her ruin our relationship, even though now we are re-considering our plans to settle down in this area in order to distance ourselves from my parents.
I’m still in shock over everything and seriously considering cutting off ties with her For now, I’m looking for apts asap to try to move out by January. If you ladies have any other input or advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Or if you have stories of crazy moms so I don’t feel alone. Thanks all. 🙁
