Post # 32
Sorry to hear this. Sometimes family just doesnt understand. You are obviously the better person. If you stopped caring for him (in a love him way) then yes, I would leave. But if you did leave, it would just be shallow. And to the people who are yelling and him and what not to quit smoking, I mean, sure, he probably should… but dont we all do at least ONE thing that we do and shouldnt?? He will stop on his own if he wants. and Bravo to you for sticking up for yourself and your soon to be husband.. your life partner!!
GOOD LUCK and God Bless!!!
Post # 33
That’s it. Come join my family. We’re Italian and loud and silly but you are welcome. Seriously, enough of these people! You and your Fiance will build your own beautiful and loving family. I’m glad you’re getting counseling and hope it continues to help you. (I’m the youngest of 4 and the only girl, so I can relate to an extent.) Congratulations and best wishes to you both.
Post # 34
I can’t believe your family would say that! Do they expect you to leave the ‘in sickness’ part of your vows out?
You can come join my family instead if you’d like. There are so many of us that a couple more won’t matter. Only thing is my Grandma calls everyone either Stephanie, Tom, Tony, or JoAnne. You can choose a name each to respond to when she talks to you.
Post # 35
My name IS Stephanie…so it should be easy!
I’m coming to join ALL your families….Thanks, Bees!
Eloping is looking like the way to go…spend our $$ on travel and fun…not stress!
I eloped for my first marriage and never told my mother (I was 21). She freaked out, so I tried to involve her in this one and this is how she “punishes” me…So be it!
I agree that I’m going to avoid them all as much as I can for now. Fiance and I already discussed Thanksgiving…we are getting a huge lamb roast for just THE TWO OF US!! 🙂
Post # 36
Omg my name is Stephanie too!!
Post # 38
I feel for you. That’s really sad and I can understand why you’ve been in counseling. I agree with dropping your “family” and instead form some new social bonds. Try joining a couple’s group or doing something relaxing together like taking an art class. It will help him relax and also help you make some supportive friends.
Post # 40
I literally had tears in my eyes reading this thread. I’m sorry your family has been so mean, I can’t even imagine treating ANYONE that way much less family! Eloping definitely sounds like a good idea, and maybe have a party with friends later. 🙂
Post # 41
That is INSANE! I cannot believe people actually think that or believe that, especially family. I would be sooo angry! No one is 100% healthy. You love him for who he is and they should respect that. My father has dementia and hes in a nursing home. Before living in a nursing home he lived at home and my mom changed his diapers and took care of him. I could not imagine if someone said something like that to my mother. Ultimately, you love him! They should respect that and butt out! I wouldn’t say sever all ties with your family, but I would just find other people who will respect you and understand you and not disrespect you and your FI!
Post # 42
@SandyDollHair: I think you should leave your family personally. I mean yes, it would be nice if he quit smoking, but he is trying at least. I couldn’t ever leave my Fiance just becasue he got sick. That is an awful thought. Seems to me your family needs to be lef tnot your Fiance.
Post # 43
My sister just called (left a message)and invited BOTH of us to (Canadian)Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. I kid you not. (We won’t be going)
She says, “I’m cooking a ham! Wait! He can’t have ham!!”
(My Fiance is muslim.)
Can I OPEN MY VEINS NOW???
Post # 44
I am so so sorry!! Your family needs to be majorly reigned in!! Do what is best for you! I have a couple of family members like yours not as cold though. I just ignore them lol
Post # 46
I’m so sorry to hear about all this. My home was dysfunctional and my mom could be verbally abusive, but nothing like this, and not this many people. You are a very strong woman.
Unfortunately, you can’t pick your family. Some of us just have bad luck in that department. It would be nice to have a stable, happy, loving family, but unfortunately not all of us are that fortunate. At least at the end of it all we know we’re strong and made of tough stuff, and can handle whatever life throws at us. You have, however, picked a man you love. You can pick your friends. These people become our family, and the beauty of it is they’re people we’ve CHOSEN. We can pick to surround ourselves with people who do care for us and love us.
The people in your family sound damaged. These people will never think to ask how your fiance is, and they don’t have compassion in their hearts to care for others. They are sad cases, and will never find happiness. You, however, have chosen a better life than they have.