(Closed) My cruel, cruel family…. :(

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 48
7362 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Good for you OP. Once you take a clear stand and set boundries in regards to family “drama” it does get easier to deal with them in the long run.

Post # 49
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@SandyDollHair: Sadly, b/c he is sick people may pity you, pity him, or expect you to leave him. I’m glad that you aren’t and are sticking by him. I have some chronic health issues and know first hand how it feels to have someone leave you or ignore you (I once had someone break up with me while i was hospitalized – not that there is a great time to do it, but man, that really hurt!). Even though your intended’s health may not be stellar right now, that doesn’t mean that it will continue to go downhill. Does he have a good treatment team? What do they have to say?

My heart goes out to you since your family is being uncaring. 

As for quitting smoking, it’s hard! It’s an addiction. People keep doing things that are bad for them. While your sister’s comment was thoughtless, think of it this way (and I’m not excusing her comment or behavior, so please don’t think that): she may think that if he just hadn’t smoked this wouldn’t have happened. Or if he quit, it’d all be okay. Absolutely not true. Quitting is hard. It sucks. The fact that he’s down to 2-3 cigarettes a day is great! (side note: when my mom quit smoking, it’d been about 4 years since she smoked. She had to go get a lung scan, and the woman asked if my mom was a smoker, and when she said “former” and said it had been four years next week the woman scowled and said “Until it’s five years you’re still a smoker. You should have known better than to smoke”. What?? I was so upset!). 

Post # 50
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

To OP, like everyone else I was shocked to read about your sister (AND Family’s) nasty comments. That must be incredibly sad for you to deal with. Aparrently they aren’t familiar with part of traditional wedding vows stating “in sickness and in health”. Plus there are plenty of people who suffer major illnesses such as heart attacks or lung cancer without ever smoking a cigarette in their lives so there are no guarantees on health. Good luck and I hope ur FI’s health improves.

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