(Closed) My Dad Acts Like an Ass on Facebook!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I am so glad I am not alone with this issue…! I have never talked to anyone else about it before. I am kinda facinated by it. 

 

Post # 19
Member
12 posts
Newbee

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PrincessPeach13 :  I comment on every single post he makes with some kinda rebuttle or something. He doesnt do any actual research and takes things he reads at face value so there is like a photo of something happening, when in reality it happened like 10 years ago and he is praising Trump for his hard work. Those are my favs becasue I can shut him down fast.

Post # 20
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

You can block him so you don’t get what he posts in your news feed, that way you are still “friends” with him and he woudn’t know he’s blocked. I wouldn’t bother commenting on his stuff, just ignore.  Also I would give him some education on facebook (honestly sometimes our parents just don’t get it!) tell him he’s coming off too arrogant and maybe he can tone it down a bit. That it looks bad to his friends/family.  If he brushes you off at least you politely told him…but still block.  (is block the right word or unfollow?  anyway one of those is a way to not get what they post but if you or he still wants to message you something you or he can). 

If you have kids and he makes comments like that, have a rule that no politics are allowed when visiting! To me those are HUGE no-nos.  I can’t stand comments like that and the poor kids are vulnerable as they just want to please their parents/grandparents. 

Post # 21
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

I would just hide his posts from your timeline. He will never know you did it, you will still be friends and he can see all of your stuff, but you won’t have to read his BS. My SO’s aunt shares THE MOST triggering things on Facebook and it drives me INSANE. So I had to hide her posts, because everytime I was around her all I could think about were her comments about white women dating black men (I’m white, SO is black) and her flat-earther theories lol. 

Post # 22
Member
1824 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Have you actually framed it to him in the context of his grandchild?  I think now would be a good time to give him a warning that you will not feel comfortable having your child exposed to this kind of thinking.  A child has a right to know that their family members don’t find them somehow racially inferior.  He needs to change his ways before the baby comes.  Preferably by not having racist thoughts, but at the very least by not expressing them.  If he can’t do that for the sake of the mental well-being of his grandchild, then he is toxic and you should probably limit contact. 

Post # 23
Member
11363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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PrincessPeach13 :  Oh bee. My dad used to be a die hard liberal, but during the Obama years, for some ODD reason, started watching Fox News and became a real hater. I lived in LA, so he would say things to me calling me a “tree-hugger” and “California nut” – and this is not even touching the racism. 

 

But one day I just said to him in front of everyone, “You’ve known me your whole life. We’ve debated philosophy and political ideaology my entire life. Suddenly you’re treating me with such contempt, name calling and judging and assuming you know my positions and why I have them before I even speak. Why is that?” 

I don’t know about your dad, but mine stopped in his tracks – and he is not known for humility. He actually apologized to me. But he continued his assault trying to convert me endlessly until I had to tell him I could no longer listen to him beacuse he is too emotional and hysterical, so there is no point. 

IF I were pregnant with a biracial child and my father were talking like that, I would have to call him out. I couldn’t be silent and frankly I don’t think that is the right answer here. 

If you don’t speak up to him, if he doesn’t listen to you, to whom will he listen? How will he learn? 

Love is the only thing that seems to break through such barriers. So I would try to use it to open his eyes.

Post # 24
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

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PrincessPeach13 :  My dad is not on Facebook but is a staunch supporter of Trump. His favorite show is Fox News 24/7. It makes me CRINGE. I cannot even imagine if he had social media…sweet baby Jesus that would be a disaster. You disagree with anything and you’re a “f!cking liberal!” But I live far away and this does not affect my daily life. I also do not have social media. Facebook is an imaginary land full of drama and once you live without it for a long period of time you think everyone else is smoking something for still taking part. It’s SO NEGATIVE! It makes you feel awful, you just don’t realize it. 

Anyway, don’t call out your dad on Facebook. Either delete him, and tell him it’s because he is sharing recist, bigoted propaganda and you know, that’s personal for you, or just hide his posts. I mean it’s a little bananas given your mentality and who you are marrying that he participates and perpetuates such ignorance…I don’t get it, but maybe be straight with him and tell him it hurts you, but don’t name call. The thing is, with kids involved, i.e. you’re pregnant, it’s different now. You don’t want your kid to be taught hate. He needs to know that.

Post # 25
Member
2610 posts
Sugar bee

If it were extreme political differences then I’d say just unfollow, but RACISM is bigotry and hate speech and shouldn’t be tolerated or ignored.

Personally I think you should keep calling him out when he says racist BS. One of the main things that allows that kind of thinking and speaking to proliferate is the fact that people they know and love stay silent so they think it’s socially acceptable. Reference your husband and your granddaughter as well (though maybe in person rather than on fb) people are often that hateful because they don’t see them as people.

Post # 26
Member
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

My dad shares a lot of inappropriate & sexually charged things on FB… his wife does the same. It’s weird and makes me uncomfortable. I brought it up to him one time and his response was that he’d spent a lot of years hiding who he was and he was over it. It’s his FB and he will share whatever he wants and if someone doesnt like it, they dont have to follow him. Which I think is fair and just unsubscribed from posts by certain pages he follows. Until he posted something incredibly racist and I was so angry my blood was boiling. I commented on it, all I said was “WTF?!?. He texted right away and said my racist relative sent it to him and he posted it by accident so I talked him through deleting it haha. It makes me SO angry that I have relatives that can be so hurtful. I cant control others but I can certainly control who I share my time with!

Post # 27
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

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Charliejeorge :  what the actual F Batman!? Yikessss

Post # 28
Member
1453 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

OP I’d be having a chat with your father personally, that crap wouldn’t fly. Especially if he would even equate to thinking those things about his granddaughter and future son in-law. Shut it down now or give him limited contact in the future. The choice is really his and you’ve gotta frame it like that unfortunately. Best of luck to handing your dad, my dad is full Latino and makes remarks about the Asian & black communities once in a while (meanwhile my cousins are Latin/afro and Chinese/Latin mixes) and I shut him down everytime, part of the reason I’m low contact with him to begin with but that’s a another story…  

Post # 29
Member
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

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sf618 :  tell me about it. F*CKING awkward! I’ve had close friends comment on how they wouldnt be surprised if him & his wife were swingers… I have to agree lol. I have to remind myself that that part of their life is none of my business, even though he shares junk like that. It’s calmed down quite a bit… that or my “unfollowing” certain pages has worked well lol.

Post # 30
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

Maybe he doesn’t understand the memes? There have been some political memes I thought meant one thing… But it was the total opposite.

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