(Closed) My Dad Acts Like an Ass on Facebook!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
11363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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PrincessPeach13 :  wow. The pride in offending people with hate is pretty off putting. You know where he got those talking points, though.

I would tell him as a last word thing, “I’m not offended, dad. I’m telling you that our child will not be exposed to that kind of talk. I understand if you choose your need to share your unasked for opinions over your grandchild, I just want you to understand it is your choice.”

but if he won’t even try to see how gross it would be to expose his interracial grandchild to racist hate… idk, bee. 😥

 

Post # 34
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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PrincessPeach13 :  “He makes stupid jokes about all races like everyone his age does but they’re always clearly in fun” 

I’m totally on your side in this Bee, but please don’t normalize his racism. Everyone his age does NOT do this and it’s not in fun, how can it possibly be in fun when he’s a racist who has flat out stated he doesn’t care who he offends? 

p.s. I’m probably in your dad’s age group and this most certainly is not the norm, in fact he’s probably hurt and offended lots of people his age and older. 

 

Post # 35
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee

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PrincessPeach13 :  I think you should unfollow him. From my latest situation I don’t think I’m in any place to give anyone advice on how to handle shitty parental situations, but at the very least you need to cut his ass off for a little while.

 

In my experience, racists (including the “I’m not racist—I have black friends”) and pretty much anyone who agrees with anything ever stated on Faux News are not people who can be rationed with. They will defend their racism to their graves—and if you don’t want to run up your blood pressure (which you shouldn’t—you’re pregnant) you probably shouldn’t confront him about it right now, as it likely won’t do you any good. 

 

Although it may be seen as sweeping it under the rug, you really should just unfollow/block him for the time being or even indefinitely. You don’t need that kinda negativity in your life. 

Post # 36
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee

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PrincessPeach13 :  Is your dad pretty outspoken about his views in real life? Is this the first you are hearing of his political views?

With social media today, i think a lot of people see so much political hublub on there that they think it is just the norm to share. Maybe he recently has come to realize these views and is now vocal about it – idk? We cant change the way people think and if that is what he thinks/feels then OK. 

I am glad you removed your comment. If you are going to address it – I am not sure what good will come of it? But i can sense that you are worried about how this will affect your child and can understand that. I think instead of asking HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT THAT? maybe go for the route of asking him not to display his polictical preferences infront of you and your child and explain how you feel that it could be directed towards your family.

and then just adjust your settings to not to see as many (or none at all) posts from your dad. 

FYI I have an aunt who is 100% mexican. Doesnt speak a lick of spanish, but 100% heritage. She moved to TX a few years ago and is now VERY vocal about her political beliefs. The awkward part is that her son in law is a dreamer (illegally sold through a lawyer, so actually has no copy of his real birth certifcate or who his parents are) And she would always post negative stuff and how we should send them back and were like…. you know your grandma was an illegal immigrant, right? And if your son in law gets sent back and/or loses his VISA to work – who do you think your daughter and grandson will be coming to live with? 

Post # 37
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Unfriend button!

I also found out the hard way that if you unfriend someone, they can still see your comments on posts of friends you have in common, and add their own incoherent five cents to the discussion. Ick. I haven’t found a setting to keep non-friends from seeing my comments, but maybe it exists.

Sorry you’re dealing with this. Me too. So my kids’ grandparents that are selling out their grandkids’ future with their politics won’t have a hand in raising the next generation. *shrug* their choice!

Post # 38
Member
5361 posts
Bee Keeper

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PrincessPeach13 :  “He makes stupid jokes about all races like everyone his age does”

He makes stupid jokes about all races like everyone his age does” 

No, everyone his age does NOT make racial jokes. 

Post # 39
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

Unfollow him. That way you never have to see it and don’t have to deal with the feelings that come with that. I have multiple people unfollowed because they’ve posted ignorant/racist/homophobic/sexist etc posts. Out of sight out of mind, because I get super riled up, angry, and anxious at certain posts. The worst offender is Future Brother-In-Law. You wouldn’t even believe the shit he posts. It’s sick. But that’s different than a dad as I barely have to see or interact with him. But as far as social media, unfollow him and don’t ever go check his page. 

Post # 40
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Yeah I don’t know. On the one hand; it is “easier” to unfollow him so that you don’t have to see his hrtful views. On the other hand, that is how we create our  online echo chambers!!

I too struggle with finding the balance between offering an opposing view to any racist, sexist, bigoted comments and just saving my energy to protect my own mental health etc.  I think I would have a serious talk with my father, like some PPs suggested. Calmly say to him that his careless and hurtful attitude on Facebook will affect your relationship with him as well as his access to his grandchild. Don’t reason with him, but make the consequences of his racism known to him. If he doesn’t stop and reconsider, I would actually consider cutting him pretty much out of my life, because I would not want that influence around my child. If you find that this is too radical, perhaps just reduce contact as much as possible, including unfollowing him on Facebook,but make a point of calling him out for his racism at least in real life.

Post # 41
Member
10545 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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sunburn :  

 “He makes stupid jokes about all races like everyone his age does”

 Good Lord I missed that !!  I cannot agree with you more, most emphatically everyone ‘his age’ does not do so !!!!!! No one, literally no one I know soclally in that age group  does . 

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