My Dad doesn’t want to walk me down the aisle :(

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Your Fiance is right! I’ve posted before about my dad & I doubt he’s walking me down the aisle. If he wants to be a dick & not be supportive, show him the door. Esp if you say he’s a bully towards you. This is YOUR day! If you wanted to do cartwheels down the aisle, so be it. Stand your ground. To make your mom feel bad, isn’t fair. I know you’re sad, but it is his loss. He’ll regret not walking his daughter down the aisle. 

Post # 3
Member
5184 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

tiffy127 :  do you think he will cool off and come around after giving it some time? I can understand why he would be a little upset, I’m sure he just assumed he would be walking you down the aisle and now he feels like it has been taken away from him in a sense. Both parents walking you down the aisle seems lovely but you know your parents and how feasible this is. While they should be mature enough to put their bitterness aside and coparent sometimes that doesn’t end up happening.

Post # 4
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Your post title is a little misleading.  Your dad does want to walk you down the aisle.  He just doesn’t want to walk you down with your mother.  He was probably very surprised that to find that he would not be the only one doing this.  I can see why he’s upset.  That is an honor that many father’s look forward to when they have daughters.  

Maybe give him some time and see if things change?  

Post # 5
Member
4845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

tiffy127 :  The way I see it, in offering to step aside, your mom proved she is the one (and the only one) worthy of walking you down the aisle.     

I think your Fiance is right – tell your dad you are sorry he feels that way, and leave it at that.   

Post # 8
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

tiffy127 :  I don’t think I would have remembered something mentioned about a wedding 4 years ago, so I don’t know if you can judge him based on that.  Unless you were actively planning a wedding at that time an offhanded comment is unlikely to be remembered.  He probably didn’t remember or thought maybe you would change your mind when the time came around.  

Post # 9
Member
4117 posts
Honey bee

tiffy127 :  you dad sounds like a peach. I’d stand my ground. It’s YOUR Day. If his need for control is more important to him than walking his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, alongside the mother of his daughter, then that’s a reflection on HIM. Not you. He needs to grow up. 

Post # 12
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

He’s allowed to be privately disappointed but being ugly to you and leaving a voicemail like that for your mother is ridiculous. If he can’t set aside old hang-ups with the mother of his child for 2 minutes to support his daughter at her wedding…then I agree with your fiancé- his loss. 

“I know you’ll change your mind about this whole thing. You and your Mom always cave in the end.”

Yuck!! What a thing to say 😡 Call his bluff. 

Post # 14
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

tiffy127 :  this is NOT being selfish. At all. You’re an adult woman making a decision about her own wedding. He is the one being selfish.

Post # 15
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

tiffy127 :  it is your dad’s loss. He’s being a child and ridiculous. My parents divorced when I was a baby and it wasn’t very amicable. From a young age I organised all weekends with my dad and they had no contact. I have 3 memories of them in the same room together before my wedding, once when I was 16 and my dad was distinctly checked out, when I was 18 and my dad was drunk and when I graduated uni. I told my dad that both of them were walking me down the aisle and he got it. It’s not his day. He’s not solely been responsible for raising me. He put on his big boy pants and walked down the aisle with my mum and me. Then sat nicely next to her during the ceremony and as we signed the register. As a side note my wedding actually seemed to repair a few things because since then my mum lost her sister, my dad lost his dad and they’ve both gone to the funerals (partly because of me, partly because they still cared for that in-law and also because they’ve realised they can still be in the same room together). 

Dont let him bully you on this. Stand your ground. I’m sorry your dad is being unreasonable and a bully.

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