My Dad doesn’t want to walk me down the aisle :(

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Agree with your Fiance.  It’s your day- yes, it’s traditional for the father to walk his daughter down the aisle.  But if you feel strongly about both your parents doing it, he needs to set aside his own emotions out of respect for you.  When grown adults, especially parents, can’t get past their own personal shit to support their children, it makes me angry and sad. I’m sorry he’s reacting this way.  

Post # 47
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Astra :  THIS.  Your mom’s actions put you first, your dad’s actions put himself first. IMO this shows your mom is devoted to you and wants your happiness, she stepped aside to prevent you from dealing with stress and/ or your father’s bullying ways. Your dad is only thinking about himself and will be aggressive to get what he wants. I wouldn’t kowtow to a bully’s demands. In your shoes I’d either have my mom walk me down the aisle or I’d walk down the aisle on my own. 

Post # 48
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I also think your dad is being an ass. I haven’t told them yet, but I want both of them to walk me down the aisle. The main reason is because my mom mainly raised me, and I think she should also walk me down. My dad is still in my life, but she was the one who did all of the parenting.

If you’re in the same boat, stick to your guns.

Post # 49
Member
4486 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

tiffy127 : 

Nope…I’d say sorry but that just earnt you a place sitting down whilst mum walks me down the aisle.

I’d also say no to him doing a reading or a speech. If you can’t act like a supportive father in private then you don’t get the opportunity to pretend to be one in public. Its that simple 😟

Your mum sounds like a gem. Sorry you are in this situation xx

 

Post # 50
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I am a bit late to the conversation, but I would suggest standing up to your father, but I wouldn’t try to convince him to walk you down the aisle.  You asked him to, he said he wouldn’t do it if your mother was there…fine…he made his decision…end of discussion.  If he has a problem with that then he owes you a major apology before you consider reinstating him.

Post # 51
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Well isn’t he going to look silly sitting on the side lines watching your mother walk you down the aisle.

Oh well! His choice!

Post # 52
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

tiffy127 :  Some of the bees here really impress me with the mental gynmastics they do in their sexism.

You think both your parents are important and deserve to be honored, your dad throws a tantrum and there are multiple posts saying he has a right to be upset because you think your mom deserves to be honored the way he is being honored. It’s such a travesty that he will have to share the honor of walking you down the aisle. How embarassing that someone could think their mother just as worthy as their father of an honor.

 

Bee, start your married life as you intend to go on. If you intend to let your dad hold you hostage at all important occassions, cave now. If you intend to live as an adult who makes her choices the fair and right way, and damn irrational people’s melodram,a then do not cave. Do not cave to hold the peace, because he certainly doesn’t care about it. Do not be a doormat just because its easier in the short erm.

Post # 54
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

*sigh* Some of these opinions on here. Jesus. Fathers are not the only parent worthy of acknowledging. The father giving away the bride is a tradition that infuriates me because it completely discards a mother’s role in her daughter’s life and also why is it that the groom gets to get married without adult supervision? *steps off of feminist soap box*

Anyway, I think it’s great that you wanted to honor both your parents by having them walk you down the aisle. That said, I think their behavior has clearly shown you who is worthy of walking you down the aisle. As a pp said, you mom prioritized you above herself and you dad prioritzed himself over everyone. And he’s not doing this because he values this tradition, he’s doing this because he’s a bully who wants to control you. He’s manipulating you and your family to bend to his will. Thankfully your family is not falling for it and I hope you don’t either. An honor like this is a privilege not a right, and it’s a privilege I think he should no longer be granted.

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