My dad is attending my female-only bridal shower…

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Hostess
2908 posts
Sugar bee

This is completely bizarre to me. A bachelorette party stereotypically includes a group of girls getting dressed up, possibly getting hit on, having some drinks, opening presents that are sexual in theme, maybe telling stories about the worst guy you ever slept with, and in general, doing plenty of aLo sorts of things things that should make your dad blush down to his ankles. No, I don’t think ALL bachelorette are like this (note the word stereotypical). But it is also your last opportunity to bond with your girlfriends in a way that’s a milestone. This isn’t family bonding time, it’s girl bonding time.

WHo in their right mind would have invited him??  

I think you’re going to have to suck it up and have someone talk to him straight out. Either that, or find out if he’s cool opening 11″ giant dildos and sparkly nipple tassels with you.

Post # 18
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee

I would talk to your dad directly and tell him it’s just for ladies. It’s one thing if you’re having a co-ed shower, but this just sounds a bit uncomfortable for everyone. You can tell him there will be activities that will be boring at best and deeply uncomfortable at worst. 

Post # 19
Member
6899 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I don’t see any reason why you can’t mention to your father that your bridesmaids asked for it to be women only (they may not have, but it is likely what they are expecting). And I can’t imagine it hurting a grown man’s feelings to know he is not invited to a traditionally women’s only event. 

I DO think it’s a stretch to think this means your SM and dad have a “toxic relationshp.” They might, sure, but not just because they’re usually together. 

Post # 21
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I would be so uncomfortable with my dad being there, especially with anything remotely sexual like lingerie in same room. Even if I was gifting it to a friend and her dad was the only male there, it’d still make me uncomfortable and possibly even hide the present until he was gone.

There is no reason your stepmom can’t attend by herself unless your dad does have control issue as you suspect. 

Post # 22
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

Definitely not bridezilla for you to ask him not to attend. I’ve never been to a shower with the bride’s dad present, and i would think it super strange. If he gives you a hard time about it, the problem is him, not you.

Post # 23
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee don’t let your dad attend. I mean it’s up to you but if you want a guest perspective… two of my friends (sisters) are both married now and their stepmother hosted both of their bridal showers and their dad insisted on not only attending, but helping to host. IT WAS AWKWARD AF. I was close enough to the girls to just straiaght up ask WHY TF IS YOUR DAD HERE (these were definitely female-only parties and included lots of naughty gifts and games and suggestions) and they told me he was just an awkward guy who wanted to be involved and couldn’t really say no. Their choice, it’s fine, but I was so uncomfortable and hated it.

In the end, if you’re fine with it, that’s what matters. But if I were a guest I would be like ERGHHHHH the whole time

Post # 24
Member
1519 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Obviously, I don’t know you or your dad but just to give a different perspective – my friend’s dad attended her female only bridal shower because her mom is not in her life and he wanted her to have a parent there to show his support and take on the role that a mother would have had.

Post # 25
Member
5246 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
jellybellynelly :  I get your drift and most situations I would agree with you but sometimes you get lingeie at these. Would you be ok with a mom going to a bachelor party? Genuine Q. No snark. 

 

Post # 26
Member
5491 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Call him and let him know it’s females only, you love him, but the door will be shut on him if he tries to come in. DAY OF,  if he tries to manoeuvre inside the house you have to literally block his way in and say ‘ NOPE, WOMEN ONLY DAD. WE WILL CALL U WHEN ITS TIME TO PICK UP S-MOM’. do NOT let him put a foot in the house. It’s def a control thing. She’ll survive a few hours without her shadow.

Post # 27
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I’d love my dad to be at my bridal shower, even if he was the only male. He is the best girl-dad anyone could ever ask for. He’d just excuse himself to another room if naughty things were being opened. But I don’t plan on opening gifts at my bridal party in front of everyone, nor am I expecting any teddys or g-strings 

Post # 28
Member
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
sweatergal007 :  I think a shower is more tame/family based. Since men don’t normally have a shower I’d say sure to having a mom there. I don’t see why people would want their mom to know what sexy lingerie they own but it’s sooo taboo if the dad does. I think we should treat parents as equals 🤷‍♀️

Post # 29
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
jellybellynelly :  Oh, sure. Any bee that is comfortable opening sexy lingerie in front of her mom and not her dad is being totally sexist and discriminatory.

Because that makes sense.

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