Post # 16
This is completely bizarre to me. A bachelorette party stereotypically includes a group of girls getting dressed up, possibly getting hit on, having some drinks, opening presents that are sexual in theme, maybe telling stories about the worst guy you ever slept with, and in general, doing plenty of aLo sorts of things things that should make your dad blush down to his ankles. No, I don’t think ALL bachelorette are like this (note the word stereotypical). But it is also your last opportunity to bond with your girlfriends in a way that’s a milestone. This isn’t family bonding time, it’s girl bonding time.
WHo in their right mind would have invited him??
I think you’re going to have to suck it up and have someone talk to him straight out. Either that, or find out if he’s cool opening 11″ giant dildos and sparkly nipple tassels with you.
Post # 17
Maybe you misunderstood, so just in case, I’m talking about a bridal shower not a bachelorette. 🙂 From what I know, it’s a family dinner style party with gifts. Some girls wanted to gift lingerie and that’s why I feel weird about my dad being there. It’s definitely not a get dressed up, drink, and party scene. 🙂
Post # 18
I would talk to your dad directly and tell him it’s just for ladies. It’s one thing if you’re having a co-ed shower, but this just sounds a bit uncomfortable for everyone. You can tell him there will be activities that will be boring at best and deeply uncomfortable at worst.
Post # 19
I don’t see any reason why you can’t mention to your father that your bridesmaids asked for it to be women only (they may not have, but it is likely what they are expecting). And I can’t imagine it hurting a grown man’s feelings to know he is not invited to a traditionally women’s only event.
I DO think it’s a stretch to think this means your SM and dad have a “toxic relationshp.” They might, sure, but not just because they’re usually together.
Post # 20
I am going to talk to my dad directly. When my stepmother told me that he was attending, I told her that it was female only and that some bridesmaids wanted to gift lingerie. She said, “He wouldn’t mind.” I’ll talk to both my dad and her and let them know that it would make me uncomfortable if there was a male there. I don’t think my dads needs to know what I own for lingerie. And I definitely don’t want my guests thinking we are that open with each other, because we aren’t. I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t bridezilla to ask him to not attend
Post # 21
I would be so uncomfortable with my dad being there, especially with anything remotely sexual like lingerie in same room. Even if I was gifting it to a friend and her dad was the only male there, it’d still make me uncomfortable and possibly even hide the present until he was gone.
There is no reason your stepmom can’t attend by herself unless your dad does have control issue as you suspect.
Post # 22
Definitely not bridezilla for you to ask him not to attend. I’ve never been to a shower with the bride’s dad present, and i would think it super strange. If he gives you a hard time about it, the problem is him, not you.
Post # 23
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee don’t let your dad attend. I mean it’s up to you but if you want a guest perspective… two of my friends (sisters) are both married now and their stepmother hosted both of their bridal showers and their dad insisted on not only attending, but helping to host. IT WAS AWKWARD AF. I was close enough to the girls to just straiaght up ask WHY TF IS YOUR DAD HERE (these were definitely female-only parties and included lots of naughty gifts and games and suggestions) and they told me he was just an awkward guy who wanted to be involved and couldn’t really say no. Their choice, it’s fine, but I was so uncomfortable and hated it.
In the end, if you’re fine with it, that’s what matters. But if I were a guest I would be like ERGHHHHH the whole time
Post # 24
Obviously, I don’t know you or your dad but just to give a different perspective – my friend’s dad attended her female only bridal shower because her mom is not in her life and he wanted her to have a parent there to show his support and take on the role that a mother would have had.
Post # 25
I get your drift and most situations I would agree with you but sometimes you get lingeie at these. Would you be ok with a mom going to a bachelor party? Genuine Q. No snark.
Post # 26
Call him and let him know it’s females only, you love him, but the door will be shut on him if he tries to come in. DAY OF, if he tries to manoeuvre inside the house you have to literally block his way in and say ‘ NOPE, WOMEN ONLY DAD. WE WILL CALL U WHEN ITS TIME TO PICK UP S-MOM’. do NOT let him put a foot in the house. It’s def a control thing. She’ll survive a few hours without her shadow.
Post # 27
I’d love my dad to be at my bridal shower, even if he was the only male. He is the best girl-dad anyone could ever ask for. He’d just excuse himself to another room if naughty things were being opened. But I don’t plan on opening gifts at my bridal party in front of everyone, nor am I expecting any teddys or g-strings
Post # 28
I think a shower is more tame/family based. Since men don’t normally have a shower I’d say sure to having a mom there. I don’t see why people would want their mom to know what sexy lingerie they own but it’s sooo taboo if the dad does. I think we should treat parents as equals 🤷♀️
Post # 29
Oh, sure. Any bee that is comfortable opening sexy lingerie in front of her mom and not her dad is being totally sexist and discriminatory.
Because that makes sense.