- 9 years ago
Okay heres a little backround on my situation so i can explain why im so frustrated with my dad: So my brother who is 2 years older than me just got married yesterday. He and I actually both graduated from college on the same day may ’11. So he was with is wife for just about 3 years before they got married, and my brother has only had a job for 8 months (he worked his last semester of college- he took 7 years and i took 5 years to graduate), whereas i have had a steady server postion since 19 (now 23) and worked on and off since 16-19 (so ive been working for about 6 years total). Anyways I have been with my FH for 2 1/2 years and we plan to have a wedding in april ’12, but probably wont be officially engaged til december. Because i dont have a ring yet i am keeping our plans to myself as we both felt that it would be best if my FH asked my dad for his blessing to marry me before everyone knows our plans.
Now that makes it tough, because while my mom knows i want to marry my FH, and supports it, she doesnt know the exact details. But as you all know, mothers can sense things that sometimes our dads cant. or at least in my family its that way. So my mom has definitely been trying to prep my dad that my FH and i are moving in the same direction as my brother, and will probably be married by this time next year.
Okay, now to the issue. So my dad was awful at my brothers wedding rehersal, and wedding. I could tell he was poouting at the rehersal dinner, and later that night I was with my parents alone and he was silent, and still pouting. He then asks, so how do you feel about the wedding(he knows i have had some reservations about my sister in law to be. And we have bonded a lot during the preparation in the last month before the wedding, so i told him that i am happy for them and excited to have a sister in law. So he says, well i hope this doesnt make you feel the need to get married soon. And i told him no, but i do want to be married. (this wedding doesnt make a difference in the way i feel is what i meant).
so after making several comments like that on friday night and saturday, during the wedding, I was quite disgusted with his attitude. I am a grown adult, paying my bills, and out of schoool. i may be a server at the moment, but i work take care of myself and that means i can make my own choices.
He also comes over to make another comment like that when my FH was sitting right there, about how the deal was i would graduate college then wait til im 30 to get married, Im 23, that means 7 years. yeah okay dad..so he pretty much had no class, no respect for my FH, or for me, Im so over him and his antics.
First: how is my FH to handle this situation now?
AND has any bride or bride-to-be had a similar issue with your father?
Sorry about the length, i just dont know what to do and its really bothering me,