Post # 1
My parents divorced when I was 5 and my dad went MIA. There were times when we would go years without talking or seeing each other. When my Fiance and I got engaged May 2010 I called to tell him and since we’ve talked twice. Each time it’s because I’ve called him. As terrible as a father he’s been is how wonderful my step dad is. When I thought about who I wanted to walk me down the aisle there was no question. My mom and my step dad are helping us pay for the wedding and have been very active in the planning process. Fast forward to our invitations going out. My mom and step dad are listed on the invite…which to me makes sense since their helping to host the wedding. My dad received his invite and finally opened it today and flipped out on my younger brother. He basically went into this crazy half hour rant and ended it with saying he wasn’t going to attend our wedding. Now, this doesn’t bother me in the least, but I’m concerned that he may call my Aunts and tell them not to attend either. Or, if they got their invites and are feeling the same way…. Uhh families! Is anyone else dealing with this? What did you do?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Post # 3
My father was/is the same way and wont be attending mine. If his family is anything like my fathers they know how he is and what he did so they will let it go in one ear and out the other. When my father bitches about anything that side of the family pays no attention because they know he is wrong and that he likes to play the victim. If they are anything like that they know how he is and wont let his ranting affect them.
Post # 4
Sorry I pushed submit before I wanted:
You just have to remember that they have known him his whole life (or at least most of it) chances are they will see him for who he really is and let it roll off. If not and they think you are being horrible to him after what he did to you, do you honestly want those people at your wedding. You want people who will support YOU, not your deadbeat dad.
Post # 5
you cant help how other people feel – if your father flipped out so much then maybe he should be asking himself instead why he was such a small presence in your life instead of being angry at those that where there for you. being the bio parent listed on a birth certificate doesnt make you a mom or dad, your actions love, guidance and care does
as far as the rest of the family, im hoping they are not blind to their brothers behaviour over the year and if they have been in your life then they should understand the committment your stepdad has made to you. goodluck – dont let others make you feel bad over this
Post # 6
@Corilee13: I agree
If they do believe the same as your father, then they are being unfair to you and lieing to themselves and they arent the people you want there anyway.
You could however call them to catch up and see if they mention something or if they do RSVP no, call to find out why if you want. It might give you some piece of mind.
Post # 7
Thanks. I called an Aunt. She went on and on about how beautiful the invitation was. I told her what he said and she seems to think it’s coming from his wife. I don’t agree but this Aunt has always blamed his bad behavior on my step mom. She’s still coming, said she didn’t even notice the wording. She also said she was going to call to straighten him out. I told her not to bother but I have a feeling she’s going to anyway.