(Closed) My Dad is refusing to come to my wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 31
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

“Do you think I am in the wrong for wanting both my dad and stepdad to walk me down the aisle?”

Definitely not! While it is understandable that this would be a little hurtful for your father, he should be able to accept by now that he is not your only father figure and hasn’t been for pretty much your entire life and not refuse to come to his own daughter’s wedding…I hope this works out for you in the end. 🙁

Post # 32
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
gwenniebee :  Giiiirrrrrl, this is some heavy stuff. I’m weighing in as the daughter of someone who is equally as petty as your father and who holds on to grudges carried in from previous generations. Know that his is not about you, its about your dad feeling outdone and upstaged yet again by another man. First he took his wife and now his baby girl. Yes it is absurd but emotions can be when pain is involved. If it were me, i would have a long talk with stepdad and ask him to sit this one out and let your dad walk you down the aisle solo. Then I would have a heart to heart with your dad and let him know that he has always been number one and no one is his equal or replacement and you never meant for him to feel that way and that you could never dream of walking down the aisle if he is not by your side. 

Big (((hugs))) and good luck, bee

Post # 33
993 posts
Busy bee

Your dad’s family needs to get a grip and realize it’s not all about them.  

Post # 34
8029 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Your dad needs to get over it. I say this as a woman whose first husband left me for another woman. I put the happiness of my child first. Your dad is not doing that.

Post # 35
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I get why your Dad is upset…but he needs to man up! This is his daughters wedding and her (your) choice!

Post # 36
765 posts
Busy bee

I think your father needs to grow up. Giving way to everyone else to spare their feelings isn’t really going to work in the end. Most likely they will still complain and you’ll be unhappy because you had the wedding they wanted, not what you wanted. 

Stand your ground, you’re a grown woman and this is your choice. Sorry if your dad is hurting, but life isn’t fair. I’m actually kind of surprised that he assumed the role was just his if your stepfather has played such a big part in your life. If he and his family decide not the come, maybe it’s for the best. I hope he realizes what he’ll be missing out on if he doens’t come to the wedding. Ulitmately it will be their loss, and that will be a number of people you won’t have to pay for at the reception.  Good luck!

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