Post # 1
and won’t even let my mom talk about the wedding around him (even listening to her talk to me on the phone gets him pissy). this has been going on for over 6 months- since i announced i had a man i was very serious about.
well, now i am engaged and the wedding is a year away but, knowing him the way i do, that is not enough time for him to get over being so hard-hearted. mama told me she would walk me down the isle. .. but then what do i do?
1) my mom- does she stand with me, or sit last, or. .. .?
2) should i acknowledge my dad in some form at the wedding?
i know this is far out but i can’t stop thinking about it, and having a plan would help me have one less thing floating around unresolved in my head.
Post # 3
so.. you’re dad is not even going to walk you do the isle? Sounds like you guys need to have a serious talk, this is a man you’re marrying. He’s not going anywhere. And if you guys talk and he still does not want to be apart of the wedding, I don’t see the point of even mentioning him.
I hope your father comes around, not everyone is fortunate enough to have a father on a day of their wedding. I really hope he sees the bigger picture.
Post # 4
Since you do have plenty of time for your father to get use to the idea of you getting married ..i wouldn’t count him out quit yet ..not saying he will just give a little more time ..Talk to him about this ,sit him down and have a heart to heart ..are u close with ur dad ? If so then ask him if he wants u to be happy? Tell him hes not being replaced or anything ? Mention maybe the idea of eventually having children..let him know u’ll always be his little girl …He’s obviously having a hard time letting go , so try to be sympathetic ..
Now if ur not that close , and he’s being like this ..i honestly would go with the idea that your mom can do both , walk you down the isle and give u away ..and she doesn’t necessarily have to stand up with u ,next to bridesmaids ..dad’s don’t usually either ..they always sit down ..So don’t worry about that ..and when it comes to the first dances with the parents , what you can do is dance with his dad and ur fi can dance with ur mom ..or you can dance with just ur mom ..these days u don’t have to be all that traditional….Personally i don’t particularly care for my father , but to keep peace i’m choosen to have my mom and his mom walk me down the isle ( since i am close to both ) ..
But i do stress that u do have time ..so don’t worry about this , just now ..Talk to him .. I hope it all works out 🙂
Post # 5
Were you an your father not talking from before the engagement, or was it the engagement which has him all pissy? If its the engagement, does he just hate your Fiance or something?
If its the engagement, and not a longer-term thing-It sounds like your father is of the opinion he can change your mind by ignoring you and your situation. So not healthy! Do they live close enough for you to go over there in person to see him? You two need to sit down and talk about this!
That aside, its perfectly awesome to have your mom walk you down the aisle! Its the young, hip, modern thing to do ya know! 🙂 She can do exactly what your father would in such circumstance (I’m really unclear what this entails outside of walking you down the aisle…).
I hope your dad comes around, but if he doesn’t, don’t bother mentioning his at the wedding. He obviously strongly objects to something and you don’t want negative vibes on your wedding day!
Post # 6
when i say we arent talking, i really mean it. so talking to him and telling him how important this is isnt going to help. i have been active duty overseas for 5 years now. . . but was lucky enough to be close to home for some training 6 months ago, and got to see my mom and dad quite a bit for a few months.
i currently live in central america, so going to see him isnt an option. we used to be super close until this happened. he never met my fi, and the one chance available forbid me from bringing my fi to the house. and just because i told him my fi isnt a born again christian!!!!! he warned me our relationship was going to suffer if i did choose to continue to go with my man. that he had hoped to walk me down the isle. .. . and yes, it was emotional blackmail but i came through it and didnt cave and still managed to be respectful but make sure he knew i was clear on what i was and was not going to do.
so he feels i chose my man over my dad. .. . . which i essentially did BECAUSE HE MADE ME. most girls get to have a man and keep their dad. ..it makes it easier to give the silent treatment when it isnt face to face.
i have had a very bad relatioship in the past, and my dad thinks i didnt learn anything from it.