(Closed) My dad isn’t coming to my wedding.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So sorry to hear that. Frown

 

*hugs*

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sweetie. ((hugs)) Oh hon. I feel like I want to say so much, but at the same time can’t come up with the right words, so forgive me if I ramble a little. First of all, I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. That’s not right, and you shouldn’t have that on your shoulders. Secondly, your dad sounds like an incredibly toxic and volatile person. I know he’s your dad, but maybe it’s better you don’t run the risk of him blowing up at your wedding. I don’t think it’s fair for you to have a relationship that’s built on you avoiding invisible booby traps left right and centre. He sounds unpredictable at best, and what would happen if he behaved this way on Saturday?!

Take some time to cool off. Maybe talk to your mom about it later tonight. Assess what you want and what you think is the ideal outcome and go from there. Personally, I think on your wedding day you should be surrounded by the people you love most, and who make you happiest. No negative energy allowed. Sending you lots of love and hugs sweetie.

Post # 5
Member
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Awwww hun!!! I am sooo sorry to hear that you are going through this just before your Big day! Sending lots and lots of virtual hugs your way!

I applaud you for trying to be the “bigger person”, I know how that feels. If I can give you a small advice, from my own experience of trying to the be the bigger person, dont take it personally. I know I know, easier said than done because they are your family. I always try to make things work with my family and it always comes back and bites me in the ass. So I have learn that you can only do so much. The rest is up to them.

I know it sucks that he won’t be there at your wedding, but this is your day. You do not need anyone negative there do ruin your day. I’m not sure if any of what I said makes sense, I haven’t had my coffee yet so I might be rambling a bit :s

Lots of positive vibes coming your way and hugs!

Post # 6
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m sorry you have to deal with that before your wedding. Just try to focus on your Fiance and don’t let dad’s negativity bring you down.

Post # 7
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

He sounds like my mother, except worse. She has bipolar disorder and “walking on eggshells” dealing with her moods is EXACTLY what we’ve gone through with her. We love her but she’s a handful. Be prepared for him to change his mind and decided he wants to come. The question is, do you even want him there.

Post # 8
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I am so sorry to hear about this! *hugs*

It was nice of him offering to help you out with some errands, maybe he feels left out?
I mean, all the harsh words were unnecessary but the thought was good (him offering to help).

It sounds to me that he seems very miserable. Maybe it has to do with the things that has happened in your family, what he has done, etc etc. Is there any way you can talk to him and change his mind so you can celebrate your wedding together? (If you want him there?)

 

Once again hugs, and sorry that this happened to you!!

 

Post # 9
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Im so sorry….im sending you lots of ((hugs)) yor day will be amazing if he does not participate! maybe that arguement happend for a reason.

keeping your family in prayer! I know yor wedding day will be amazing!

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Awww so sorry this is  happening! But, you don’t need a volatile person like that at your wedding. Its not your fault he isn’t coming, please remember that. He is a miserable person, and hopefully you standing up to him will make him realize that, and he might possibly see the light, and start making changes. I think its great that you stood up to him, and hope that you have the best possible wedding day, because you sure as hell deserve it ((HUGS))

Post # 12
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t have any wise words, but I wanted to just say ((Hugs))

Post # 13
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I dont understand how he gets this pass to be a jerk and everyone around him is just supposed to deal with it.

Some people are just that way and sometimes it is just better to let those with this ‘pass’ to do what they want, and let it go. This was a hard lesson for Fiance and I to grasp about certain family members…but some people in life are just that way. Sometimes people are just so caught up in themselves and their own issues that they cannot even see straight. It may be a blessing in disguise if he is not there. You will have a beautiful day no matter what, and maybe someday he will come around and want to be a positive part of your life. If that never happens, at least you know that it is him, and not you.

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Awwwww ((((HUGS))))  I’m so sorry you have to deal with this from, of all people, your father!  

The others have already said what I would say, and I’ll add on that he needs help.  By that, I mean medical help since it sounds like a mental illness.  I could be wrong, and it COULD just be his lousy attitude.  (If it’s an illness, at least he could get meds to help him!)

You’re a far better person than many.  Many would’ve just walked away and never looked back after they left home.

Lots of hugs!  And I know you’re wedding will be amazing and wonderful, no matter what.

Post # 15
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

*HUGS* I am so sorry that you are going through this. I dont have any advice besides just take it as it is. You know better than anyone, that on a different day in a different mood his reaction could have been a lot different. I hope he looks into finding the help that he needs, but in the meantime, just keep your chin up. Maybe he will come and maybe he wont, sad if he doesnt of course because he is your father, but its still going to be the happiest day of your life!!

Post # 16
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

millions of hugs, girl. you don’t need him there being a sour puss on what’s going to be an amazing day! try and let it go, he’s being a nutso and it’s totally not what you need to be thinking about! <3

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