(Closed) My dad just called and told me his wedding is in less than 3 weeks!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do?
    Fly out for the wedding : (2 votes)
    18 %
    Plan a reception/celebration for a later date : (3 votes)
    27 %
    Send a card and call it a day : (6 votes)
    55 %
    Other, explain below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2891 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would call him and explain your situation. Remind him you couldn’t even afford to go on a honeymoon. He may offer to pay your way or tell you he understands that you can’t make it. Then at least the pressure is off you. If he pitches a fit then you are in a pickle.

    Post # 4
    Member
    14657 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If the relationship with my dad was on good terms, I think I would go.  I know it’s not ideal, but what if your husband didnt go in order to save money on his flight.  Or maybe you can talk to him and explain the fiances and tell him what you can spend vs how much tickets are.  Given the short notice, can he spot you the rest?

    Post # 6
    Member
    2790 posts
    Sugar bee

    @jessjess: Personally, and this may come from a slightly jaded place of a father with 2 divorces, I wouldn’t go. He is much more concerned about himself and his new marriage then he is about you being there. He gave you very little time to prepare for this and personally I wouldn’t be willing to spend that kind of time and money on someone who doesn’t seem to want me there that badly.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    If you want to go, go ahead and go!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1527 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would go. And add a poll :p In my opinion, I’m always more worried about regretting not doing things than by doing them and regretting them. Because at least then you know. You can’t go back and go if you change your mind…If you do go, you’ll always make more money (and I’d see if he could help pay for it) and if it’s awkward, you’ll at least have some interesting memories.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I agree with @secondchances:. Call him and explain your situation. Maybe (just maybe) he’ll come up with a solution that will take some of the financial pressure off of you & your husband.

    The thing that bugs me about this is that you said he’s known for a while that this is what they were going to do, and he invites you 3 WEEKS beforehand?! When you’re ACROSS THE COUNTRY?! It just…doesn’t compute.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3798 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I can’t say that I would go out of my way to financially burden my own family for something like this. Perhaps if it was not so soon after his divorice from your mom, or if he would have given you a few month’s notice.

    I would call him and explain your situation and tell him that if you are not able to make it, you would love to meet up with him after he returns to see pictures. He has to understand that this is something that puts you in an awkward spot because of the entire situation.

    Post # 11
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t go either, but I think that’s because I’m thinking about my relationship with my own Dad. I’ve seen him 3 times in six years and the last time I saw him he invited me to his wedding. I didn’t go and haven’t spoken to him since. His loss

    Post # 12
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think if he is choosing to have a wedding on short notice that isn’t near his family, it’s probably not a priority to have you there, unfortunately. Just consider it as if he’s decided to elope. Send him a gift and a card and call the next day to ask how it went and that’s all I’d do.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @jessjess: “I talked to him this morning and he seemed wierd about the fact that we were trying to come. I just don’t get him.”

     

    Me either. 🙁  It sounds like what you’re trying to do is a really nice idea, given the circumstances. Maybe the invite was his way of letting you know this was happening.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    i wouldn’t put my family in a hardship for him. I love my dad so very very much but sorry, your duty is first and foremost to YOUR husband. call and explain, im sure he understands. If you def could afford it without putting yourself in a bad position then totally go. good luck hun!

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