(Closed) My dad just doesn't get it and I don't know what to do…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

*aside* Yay, pretty dress!

Wish I could be more helpful. Try to figure out why he wants speciifc things and provide what he wants in other areas, I think? He probably wants his minister and you to dress shop with your mom because those are his ideas of how families bond during weddings, which is fair. I guess just include him, and your mom when possible, in any wedding things you think he would like but either aren’t that important to you if they get changed, or about which you’ll generally agree with them.

Post # 4
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My dad is Catholic, and he sometimes goes to church, usually when he feels he needs extra support, and my grandparents were both practicing Catholics. My mum is Anglican, not overly religious, and didn’t want to get married in a church that wasn’t hers. They compromised, they had a garden wedding and were married by a minister from the uniting church. It was middle ground, not a church but not married by a celebrant either. My mum did it more to appease my dad’s family.

Fiance really wants to get married in a church, simply because it’s “what his mum would have wanted”. She wasn’t a practicing Catholic, so I feel it’s a bit strange. My dad’s the same as your FIL’s, although Fiance and I are both Catholic, we don’t go to church so he feels it’s bordering on offensive to get married in a church when we don’t normally attend one.

Post # 5
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

What a beautiful dress!!! 🙂 It looks so beautiful and romantic! 🙂

 

My dad, too, is a bit weird about certain things. Oh, and my mum…and his mum…and the bridesmaids. I think it is a really HARD situation to be in sometimes. I went on here and the advice people agve me was ‘stop telling people things’ but that is hard too – beacuase you want to share with your nearest and dearest. My sister got married a few years back and we had the most amazing day, it was seriously the best day of my life. My dad wants the EXACT same thign for mine. He would have me in the same dress, the same venue..everythign the same. It hurts my heart that my family and friends think I’m weird and that it will look ‘dumb’. When I said I was making my flowers they all went quiet – until they saw how nice they were (apart from his mum who is INSISTENT ‘oh you WANT real flowers, you will want real flowes in your hands on the day’). Same with my strassing my shoes, until they saw them. I think that people have a vision (much like we do) and it it changes from what they have they automactically think it will be ‘weird’ or ‘dumb’ or whatever. Everythign WEIRD I’ve shown my family and friends have blown them away – much like your beautiful dress- and I think you just have to stick by your dues (which is hard, I know) and KNOW that your wedding is goign to be beautiful, fun and you. Your dad will love it and probably bang on about it for years, even if you have a ‘weird’ (BEAUTIFUL!!!!) etsy convertable dress and no pastor. Your vision is the most secure, and though your dad has a RIGHT to have his vision for his little girl, please be happy in the knowledge that he will enjoy your big day muchly even if it is higely different from his vision. Its just a pain in the arse to have to listen to people going on about how things will look ‘different’ or ‘too DIY’. 🙁 I over heard my dad discussing my strassed shoes with my mum ‘oh! she’s done a great job hasn’t she?’ mum: ‘yes, she has’ dad: ‘I was VERY worried about these shoes’ mum ”and those flowers’… ahh for people to have faith!

 

please dont let it get you down, that dress is amazing and even if you dance naked down the non-aisle you’ll have fun and so will everyone else coz you’ll be radiently happy.

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