(Closed) My Dad just passed away

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so sorry 🙁 HUGS!

Post # 48
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MariContrary:  I am very sorry for your loss .. 

Post # 49
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jwdesiree:  +infinity (is that possible? ha)

OP, so sorry for your loss, but jwdesiree has hit the nail on the head. My mother passed away in January and she was the strongest person I’ve ever known. Her body had been fighting against her for 11+ years, but she was walking without assistance, and defying her disease until the end.

In fact, it wasn’t even her disease that did it outright, she caught the flu (even though she was so careful) and in 3 days in the hospital, she went downhill fast. It is a shock, even though she had been sick for awhile, she had hid it so well we almost could forget about it. We never thought it would be the flu, and even when we found out, we were sure she would get through it.

Your father has passed his strength on to you. I am not very religious, and I am just beginning to become more intune with spirituality, but I can assure you that if my mother is “around” she is watching over me every day, like your father is with you. It will never get better, but it will get easier. I’ve found that each day I choose to live as my mother would have wanted me to. To do the things I love to do, and to spread her strength, patience, and kindness to others. You will find yourself doing the same for your dad.

Don’t be afraid to feel sad, and don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel or act. And just remember your father will live on through you. Sending you thoughts and virtual hugs.

Post # 50
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. I’m sending good thoughts and big hugs your way.

Post # 51
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

@MariContrary:  I am very sorry for your loss and the grief you must feel at not having time to prepare for this. My dad died suddenly of a heart attack overnight, he was 52.

Speaking from experience, and looking back, I feel blessed that my dad did not suffer and went quickly. This happened 20 years ago so I have had time to reflect.

Cancer is a horrible disease. It is usually drawn out and people suffer immensly. It is actually a blessing your dad did not experience all that.

Big hugs to you. Take care of yourself. xoxoxox

Post # 52
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁

Post # 53
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so sorry. The death of a loved one is NEVER easy…. but losing a parent is so hard. One step at a time is what I told myself when my dad passed. One hour at a time even. Breathe. Close your eyes and just take time to yourself.

 

and CRY. Please don’t hold that in.

 

<3 hugs.

Post # 54
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Post # 55
Member
2540 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MariContrary: I’m so, so sorry for your loss.

I know what you mean about medically understanding it but just not believing it. My dad passed away almost three years ago. He had brain cancer but we all believed he would overcome it because he was physically the strongest person ever. He was also such a huge part of my life that I could not imagine him not existing. One day he wanted to go to the ER, and a week later he was gone.

I’ve been looking for him, chasing him, waiting for him to come home. I’ve been a mess until these last few months, when my stepmom died, and now I realize that they are never coming back.

I was so caught up in how he was “irreplaceable” and I couldn’t let go.I was so depressed.

Nowadays I still see him as irreplaceable, but it’s different. I used to be so upset that people were similar to him but they just weren’t him. The way I see it now, he was here and can’t be replaced and it’s not a bad thing anymore. It’s good. I will never be confused about who he was or what he was to me and nobody will ever fill that spot. While he is physically gone I still have him exactly as he used to be.

BUT, I know all this sounds like bs and it really is bs half the time. Your father being gone will never actually be ok with you, it’s just a way of coping. It doesn’t get better, you just learn to cope with it better. I wish you the best with all my heart and I’m very sorry for what you are going through.

 

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