(Closed) My dad planned his wedding a week before mine.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Selfish maybe, remember as a bride you get 1 day just as your dad gets 1 day also.  Sure it sucks that he planned a wedding a week from yours but I do agree with your sister be the bigger person and just invite him.  Not inviting him makes you look immature and childish.  Who knows he might not even show up. 

Post # 4
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Sassygrn:  i agree.

 

@MelodicCallie:  he may still be on his honeymoon and not show up for your wedding but at least you are being the bigger person here and your family will see that. 

Post # 5
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MelodicCallie:  I would be really disapointed too.  Coming from someone who has had a troubled reltaitonship with my dad, I totally get it.  I inivited my dad because I couldnt live with it.  My sister on the other hand has made peace with her decisions and does not speak with him.  When she gets married one day, there’s no way she’s inviting him.  I think as long as you make peace with it then you do what feels right for you.  As far as being disapointed- I would totally be too. Just remember all those people who love and care about you will be there on your special day and that’s all you’ll remember.

Post # 7
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No, what your father did is just plain  spiteful and selfish.   I would be livid if it were me.

 

Stand by your decision not to invite him to your wedding.   You want to be surrounded by good vibes from people who love and care for you on your wedding day, not invite discord and trouble into it.   

Post # 8
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@MelodicCallie:  I don’t blame you for not inviting your dad, but I think you’ll have to accept that his side of the family may not show up. Think of it this way: on your wedding day, you’ll know who your true family is. And in the end, isn’t that who you want to spend your special day with anyway? It’s not like your weddings are on the same day, so they really have no excuse not to be there for yours.

Post # 10
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@MelodicCallie:  

Your father is a nitwit, I’m sorry for this. His choice of wedding date is just one more callous affront to you.

While I am completely on the “you get only one day” bandwagon, daddies who reject their little girls (and I can see how you see this as rejection) are cads.

What I don’t understand is why your sister would “fly in” for his wedding or even why it’s a big event for his side of the family, ummm, it IS #3. Perhaps your sister has a different relationship with him, but really, wedding #3? That wouldn’t merit more than a card from me to anyone including my father.

edited to add: after reading more posts this story is revealing more ridiculous behavior on the part of dear old dad. $14,000 for Wed-ding #3. OK! Well, perhaps his bride is a first time ’rounder, it’s unlikely I’d attend or do anyting really for this wedding. Still shaking my head over your sis getting on an airplane for this event.

OP, please do your best to block out the spiteful behavior of this sperm donor, I am so sorry he’s messing up your life.

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
467 posts
Helper bee

I think you have the right to be upset.  Sure, you only get one day, BUT as you pointed out, he has practically ensured that guests will HAVE to choose between your wedding and his wedding.  So he is imposing on your one day.  

What a jerk.  I’m sorry this is happening to you.  I would honestly be surprised if his family chose his wedding over yours.  Surly they can see that he is being spiteful by planning it on that particular day.  

Post # 13
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

@MelodicCallie:  I hear you. Sometimes daddies use it to their advantage and rely on you being the bigger person to get there own way. There is only so long you can do it before you say enough is enough. Like another poster said just make sure you make peace with your choice.

Post # 15
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t invite him. Just because he is your biological father, that does not mean that he deserves to be at your wedding. I would explain as much as is necessary to your relatives, and let them know you really hope they’ll be able to make it, because you’d miss them if you couldn’t.

Post # 16
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@MelodicCallie:  While I’m a big advocate for ‘you only get ONE day’ I think that if anybody should understand how important your wedding is to you, it should be your father. I mean if a cousin or a friend or somebody had planned their wedding a week after yours, that’s one thing. But you father? Really? I’m guessing this is the kind of self centred crap that put you guys where you are today. 

Don’t invite him, you don’t owe him anything. Politely tell your sister that she has a different relationship with him and that you’d appreciate it if she’d kindly but out of yours. 

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