(Closed) My dad ruined my proposal.. still not over it! HELP

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

He’s your father and if he wants to apologize that is not something you should stop him from doing.  He’s admitted he was wrong and is willing to step up to the plate and take action against the hurt he caused you and your fiance. I think you should take advantage of that.

I’ve read a lot of stories on here in which there have been disapproving parents and parents-in-law, and you should be happy that he’s come to his senses this early on in the game.  I know he wasn’t there for you initially, but he wants to be there for you now.  It will be a much easier time to forgive and move on with the wedding planning and the rest of your life. 

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Look, it sucks I know. My father is the most stubborn person on earth and doesn’t like my husband. He sulks and hides during family holidays, there’s a long history there of tension. I was living out of state when I met and married my husband so my father felt as though because he didn’t know him, he wasn’t to be trusted.

Bottom line, your Dad ruined the moment. That’s over and done with, there’s nothing you can do about that now. You’re allowed to feel anger and disappointment, but now you need to move on the best and most peaceful way possible.

Your father was probably totally blindsided by this. Even if he was expecting it, when it becomes *real* like that, sometimes parents choke up. They get emotional, say the wrong thing. Your father is probably KICKING himeself right now, because he loves you and he wants you to be happy, and believe it or not, he did not want to take that away from you.

Your father needs to apologize to your fiance face to face. Your fiance was a man and asked permission and got shut down, so now the ball is in your father’s court to man up and admit to a total lapse in judgment.

Then you need to talk to your father and tell him you need for him to be supportive throughout this wedding process. Let him know that you love him and that you hope that he trusts in you enough to know that you are making the best decision for your life. Remind him that you are happy, and that you are very much in love.

Then forgive your father. Because until you do that, this will keep eating at you. Forgive him, let the anger go and promise that from here on out, you are going to think happy thoughts and get excited for your day.

Best of luck and CONGRATS!!

Post # 5
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@KateByDesign: She said he hasn’t apologized, even though he said he would.

I’m sorry 🙁 It’s terrible when these things mess up a special moment. Just try to think about how happy you are that you’re engaged!

Post # 6
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SnowPeony:  ooo!  I read that wrong.

Forget what I said then.  You need to confront him about not apologizing. 

Post # 7
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why did your Fiance want to ask your dad if he wan’t going to listen to him anyway?

Post # 9
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Mrs.ChubbyBunny:

he wasn’t going to let someone else ruin the best decision he’s ever made.

Aww, that’s sweet.  That is why I am a firm believer that a 3rd party shouldn’t be involved in the decision making of a decision which ultimately dosn’t have anything to do with said decision.

Post # 11
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

My Mother-In-Law ruined our engagement as well. It was really upsetting and I do get angry when I think about it in too much detail, but honestly, I end up smirking because even though my engagement sucked, I still have a great husband and in the end, my Mother-In-Law got the short end of the stick. We no longer have any communication with her, the 1 thing she tried to achieve was to push me out of the picture and get rid of ME, but instead she no longer has a Son that respects her and wants her in his life because of it. Now this all didn’t just stem because she tried to stop the engagement and ruined it, but it set the tone for 7 months of a horrible engagement with a horrible women.

With that being said, be happy and thrilled that your father is trying to make ammends and help out, it stinks you don’t have a wonderful engagement story, but what I tell myself there are worse things in life than that.

I was engaged once before my Darling Husband and I had the exciting engagement story but it meant nothing, the guy was a dud and the relationship was even worse. A story is just a story, and what matters is the love and happiness you feel with you Fiance.

I don’t have a wonderful story at all, but I do have the moment that my Darling Husband DID ask me with my ring and him down on 1 knee and THAT is what I try to focus on, not the negative.

 

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2017

 

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 12
Member
8705 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2016

lecomteskier :  Do you realize you’re calling someone a name on a thread thats been dead for over 6 years?

Bravo.

Post # 14
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

slomotion :  what’s weird is that their first post ever is to revive a 6 year old thread and insult someone.

Post # 15
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

So what? You have a good man and you are getting married anyway. What’s the real problem??

The topic ‘My dad ruined my proposal.. still not over it! HELP’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors