MemberThanks for all your support! I really felt like I had no place to turn to to talk about this upsetting issue.
@Gator- Thank you so much. Your comment reallly, really helped me!
@Bobby- I’ve never met his Fiance, so I can’t really talk to her. IMO if she’s marrying him, she’s not playing with a full deck herself.
Thanks for letting me vent ladies! 🙂
MemberYour dad sounds like an insensitive jerk. He should care first and foremost about his daughter’s wedding day, not his own 2nd (?) wedding! If he won’t change the date, I would suggest sending your invitations out a little earlier. Yes, maybe it sounds petty (but your dad has shown how petty he is), but people may choose to attend your wedding because they got the invitation first.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this!
MemberOh, I’m so sorry to hear this! I’m glad you are taking gator’s advice to heart. I know it’s tough, but maybe that will help you make some peace with this.
MemberGirl, all I can say is HAVE YOUR DAY!! Like it has been said before, and I think by you…he has been married before and y’all do not know her.
MemberSeriously? I mean SERIOUSLY? I can’t belive it! I’m so sorry you have to deal with that! I agree w/ Budget Beautiful-send out your invites first!
MemberUhm… just because a deposit is on something doesn’t mean you can’t change the date… ? That’s kind of ridiculous… I am so sorry to hear that!
MemberI know, I guess I have no choice but to try to beat him to it w/ my invites. Insane, huh? Who would have thought I’d have to compete with my DAD to get people to come to my wedding? I think I’m over it… he’s being a jerk.
The hurt he’s caused me & the lack of consideration on his part is forgivable, but not forgotten. My Fiance wants nothing to do with him & this will affect our future relationship and his (probably non-existent) relationship with future grandchildren.
In a way, I feel sad for him. Oh well… what’s done is done. lol watch they break up before the wedding even happens– I just hope his decision was worth it. It all goes back to his “poor decisions”.
MemberI won’t change our date because I have more plans done, we have tons of people from the US making plans for next summer to come here & I’ve waited 3 years for this to happen. My Fiance and I are 3000 miles apart in separate countries. He lives with his Fiance of 5 months.
I don’t have the luxury to see my Fiance every day & I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to to marry him! Ugh… seriously I have to go to my zen place before I go crazy. lol
Thanks for all your shared outrage & advice! It’s helped greatly 🙂
MemberYou sound like a really strong woman who is handling this exceptionally well!! I just wanted to say I sympathize and I wish you all the best! I also feel bad for the people who will really be torn between the two weddings though! 🙁 I hope that for most of your mutual guests it will be clear which wedding they will attend so that there is a minimum of trouble. Good luck!
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Member*HUGS* Wow, that SUCKS. I don’t know if there’s anything you can do, though…maybe you can have a shindig afterwards where those relatives who didn’t come can give their congratulations? =/ Or, is there some way that your dad can get a different date and move his deposits up? (Some vendors will let you do that.)
MemberOuch! I would be very upset also. Your Father burnt you. Do you think he did this on purpose or do you feel it was purely an accident or maybe it’s his Fiancees doing- or maybe I’m just really suspicious of people but, can you blame me, he doesn’t sound very Fatherly? He should change his date- pure and simple, many vendors will allow you to change the date. I would suggest this to him and go from there. Ugh, what a crap situation to be in- sorry you have to deal with this, ESPECIALLY from your own Father.
MemberI agree with everyone who has said don’t change your date and move forward with or without him. But the ideal is still that your respective weddings be on different dates so that your family (his side) can be there and not have to choose either/or.
This may be a bit devious, but perhaps after a few days or a few weeks you could try a different tack with him? Explain how important it is to you that both of you have the family present, and that to keep the peace you have inquired as to whether or not any of your vendors will ‘let you off the hook’ with regards to the date and would he mind doing the same? You can say you’re still waiting to hear back and don’t have a final answer yet. If you show that you’re trying to make it work for everyone — and that at the end of the day you can’t imagine him not being there for your big day — maybe he’ll reconsider?
I wouldn’t ordinarily condone massaging the truth like this, but you can’t be blamed for making a last ditch effort to save your special day and allow him his.
MemberI’m so sorry this has happened during ur process… we had an unreal amount of family drama weeks prior to our wedding, it was rough… but in the end I realized it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I was FINALLY marrying my prince.
MemberWOW!! Selfish dads stink. Mine can be like that sometimes, too. Is there any teeny, tiny remote chance he would have a heart if you wrote him a heartfelt letter? As others suggested, he could probably keep his deposits just by moving a few weeks forward or back, making it easier for family to see both weddings.
Either way, I say go on with your plans! Send out your Save The Dates to the rest of the family and let them know right now what your date is. It’s lame to have to race him like that, but you already have the STDs done so it shouldn’t be too hard to send out a few more. And that way you don’t have to kill yourself to get the invites out early.
Good luck and hugs!!!!
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