(Closed) My Dad’s girlfriend is wearing the same color as family and MOB?????

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 13
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2007

View original reply
@lefeymw:I agree you on that. I understand what you mean and totaly get the point of what you are saying. Don’t stress this right before your wedding maybe she can add a little color so she can be different then the rest of yor bridal party and family. Like red shoes or pink I don’t know a color skirt I mean something.

Post # 15
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@cashlee1023: Think of it this way… if your mom, dad or sibling or even friend made a comment about your now fiance that you didnt like when he was a bf, wouldnt you be defensive?

Post # 17
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@cashlee1023: I thnk its because its black. SUCH a universal color that others will wear. If the color was fuscia, say, then I would agree with you (or at least see where you are coming from) but black is so univesally accepted as a neutral, acceptable color that you cant argue with someone wearing it. Especially because soooo many people will wear that at your wedding!

Post # 18
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Like others have said, let it drop. If she knew she wasn’t supposed to wear black, thats kind of crappy of her… But whatever.

But, the color IS black. There will likeley be tons of people wearing black, especially if yours is an evening wedding. It’s a really flattering color.

Post # 19
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@cashlee1023: If you told me she was wearing the bridal party colour that wasn’t common say seafoam, I’d think you had a legit issue.

But it’s a black dress.  That is the singularly most popular dress colour. 

She won’t be the only person not in the Wedding Party with a black dress, I assure you. 

Just enjoy your wedding.  No one will even pay attention to someone in a black dress.  It actually may look more odd if she did come in a bright pink dress.  Draws much more attention to her.

Post # 20
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@cashlee1023: I understand why you’re upset. You’re already wary of your mother’s feelings, and I don’t see why your dad’s Girlfriend had to be invited, I’m guessing he pushed it. Etiquette wise, GF/BFs aren’t required invites, only fiance(e)s/spouses. So you don’t want to hurt your mom or take away any of her glory. I think your dad/his Girlfriend should be respectful of that. I think you should call her and explain that you’re afraid of hurting the moms feelings and how much it would mean to you if she wore a different color. If she cares about your dad or you, and you ask her more for sympathy than accuse her, she’ll gladly change, if only to make a good impression. If she does, thank her profusely and tell her it means a lot to you. This will leave her feeling more comfortable/accepted at your wedding and she won’t be blending in with the bridal family.

Post # 21
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry but if you didn’t want people wearing the same color, you shouldn’t have chosen black. You can’t be mad at someone for buying a black dress- its a go to color. I think you’re being unfair to her. I like one of PP’s responses that to ask her to wear a colored shawl if it bothers you so much. Just thinkofall the things going right for your wedding, not this small blunder 🙂

Post # 22
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry you’re so stressed about this, but when I read your responses it seems to me that the real issue is that your dad has a girlfriend and is bringing her to the wedding. The dress issue seems like a scapegoat for what you’re really hurt by. Maybe You don’t want your mom to be hurt or take it the wrong way, and maybe you’re hurt too that your dad is with someone new and bringing her to the wedding.

Like PP’s have said, black is very common to wear to weddings, I wear it to weddings the majority of the time too because I figure it’s safe. I really don’t think she’s trying to steal your moms thunder. And maybe I can offer a suggestion: as much as you may not like your fathers choices and as much as you may not like this woman, realize that we are all people. your dad deserves to be happy and so does your mom. I’m sorry that it just can’t be with each other. It sounds like your dad could be very sensitive to this topic of his girlfriend and I’m wondering if it’s because it hasn’t been well received by the family. Let your wedding day be about you and your Fiance, not the bitterness left over from a hurtful divorce. Treating this woman like crap for finding love in your father isn’t going to make your wedding day special. If she makes him happy let that be something that helps you show this woman some acceptance. This isn’t being disloyal to your mom, but being loving and caring towards your father. If you are really serious about wanting her to look different get her a shawl like someone else suggested and give it to her as a gift. Just say you got it for her to wear to the wedding because you’re glad she can be there. It’s a nice gesture that your dad and her will appreciate, on top of that she will not look like your mom.

I’m glad to read that you’re going to let it go, but let it show with your actions too. Take a deep breath and just enjoy the wonderful things you have coming in your life!!! your getting married!!! Wooo-hoooo!!!! 🙂

Post # 23
Member
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

As a PP suggested, maybe she could wear a colored shawl or jacket?  I think that might help.

Try and relax.  This day is going to be amazing for you, and twenty years down the road, it won’t matter what color dress your dad’s girlfriend was wearing.  🙂

Post # 24
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@Meowkers: ditto!

Post # 25
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cashlee1023: I completely understand! I know how divorced parent’t new spouses can do things to upset the “ex”. It’s usually very passive aggressive, that to outsiders may not seem like anything, but to the person it’s supposed to be a huge slap in the face. If it’s the first time, I  would try to let it go since black is a “safe” formal attire, and it was probably done not knowing.  But it’s it’s a repeating occurance of passive aggressiveness I would be upset too!

 

Post # 27
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The topic ‘My Dad’s girlfriend is wearing the same color as family and MOB?????’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors