(Closed) "My daughter is a little bitch."

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 107
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@OkieHeart:  yes.  People treat their pets more humanly than their human relative for the most part.

Post # 108
Member
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Good! That daughter deserves to be punished for not caring about a family member like that. My sister and I grew up with cats and they were 100% part of the family. 

Post # 111
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What an unbelievably spoiled and cruel thing for a 12 year old girl to say! 

I know if my 12 year old self (or any age!) told my mom that I didn’t think she should spend money on saving the family dog and that I thought it would impact my expensive camp, my mom would have probably said something along the lines of, “Oh, well you can just mow people’s lawns and babysit all summer, and THEN we’ll be able to afford the surgery for the dog!  SO glad you are getting involved in helping out the family.”

Post # 112
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

@MrsPanda99:  There is more than one point. I addressed two. But using a swear word to describe a child isn’t just another word. It’s very, very harsh.

I wouldn’t even tell a child “You’re a brat.” It would be “You’re acting like a brat” or maybe even “You’re being a total brat right now” might slip out if I was really annoyed.

I’m in my 30s and my Fiance wouldn’t have the gall to call me a “bitch”…because it’s extremely unloving and disrespectful. We don’t swear at each other at all, but especially as references to each other. It’s full of venom. Words can cut very deeply. We also avoid calling each other any name at all (“you’re such a ___” “He/she is a total _____” –> NEVER). “You are being ____” “I hate it when you (whatever)” “It seemed really selfish when you did that” “It really hurt me when you did that. Doesn’t that bother you? It seems like it doesn’t” “I don’t even want to look at him right now, you won’t believe what he did…” etc.

Kids are WAY more delicate than adults. If it’s too harsh for two adults to talk like that amongst or about each other without harming the relationship, it’s way out of bounds to refer to a child that way.

Post # 113
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Of the 90+ posts, I’m surprised this side hasn’t come up:

This an issue between the mother and daughter (and perhaps the dog).  Why would you get involved and post something about someone else’s personal life for the social media world to criticize?  I don’t think it’s fair to judge anyone based on someone else’s account of a situation.

Post # 115
Member
8037 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsPanda99:  Yeah.. the fact it’s an animal scares me a bit. I was a total bitch/brat/whatever when I was a teenager, but I don’t recall ever being cruel to a living thing (well aside from my mom lol). I mean even if she didn’t like the dog, you’d think some part of her would at least feel sorry for it.

Obviously I don’t know the family or how she was raised or anything, but I wouldn’t say it’s entirely the parents’ fault here, especially if the other kids seem to be well adjusted. Sad.

Post # 116
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@iarebridezilla:  LMAO at your first comment on this thread (as I’m sure there are many by now) All teenage girls are monsters is true

Post # 117
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

@MrsPanda99:  It’s good the kid didn’t hear it. It’s still a red flag for me. The daughter is clearly having issues though. It seems both mom and daughter should have a time out together and get to know and respect each other better, IMO.

Post # 119
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

I understand being uncomfortable with a mom calling her daughter a bitch to her face at that age but seriously the lady was just venting. Full disclosure: I’ve called a 2 year old a bitch on the ride home from babysitting because she kept hitting me in the head and laughing afterwards. I didn’t tell the two year old she was a bitch because that would be inappropriate but I don’t see what’s so wrong with using that kind of language in private.  No harm done.

I guess I’m just more desensitized to that kind of language than some people? The term bitch on its own just doesn’t mean much to me and unless there’s the intent to hurt someone to their face I don’t react to any “curse word” really. So the fact that the mom was venting to her friend just doesn’t faze me at all but then I’m a horrible person who calls babies bitches too.

 

Post # 120
Member
12316 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@MrsPanda99:  I’m just curious about what you mean when you say your friend wasn’t perfect.  Do you mean in this situation or in general?   Did the mom say something  linking the expense of the dog to camp that provoked the girl’s reaction?   I’m not saying it should make a difference, but maybe it would help to know the context of all this. 

I’m also wondering if the parents will back down and send the girl.  I would imagine that deposits or even full payment  are long past due by this time.

Post # 121
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

The daughter does seem to come off as being selfish.

BUT.

She’s 12.  And this isn’t an excuse, but even the nicest 12 year olds will say some stupid comment once in a while.  Maybe she felt the dog was getting more attention than her, and she thought that wasn’t fair.  Maybe she just had a really rough day and blurted something out without thinking.  Maybe she overheard something her mom or dad said about cutting back on spending, and thought that with the dog’s health issues, she wouldn’t be able to go to camp.  Should she be punished?  Yeah, I think so.  I’m not sure if summer camp is the way to do it.  Summer camps can be very educational depending on the camp, plus it might reinforce her belief that the real reason she isn’t going is because of the money.  (No matter what the mom says, the girl will probably believe she’s not going because the dog was chosen over her.)  But volunteering at an animal shelter would be perfect.

I think it’s important to make a distinction between animal lover and animal abuser here as well.  Technically, there is no crime in not loving an animal.  There’s a huge difference between abuse and “meh” behavior.  The daughter is not abusive- she just doesn’t seem to care for the dog.  Some people are just not animal people.  My own mother had tons of cats and dogs when she was little.  She didn’t hate them, but she also didn’t like them enough to have one when she was living on her own.  Does that make her an animal hater?  No, she’s just neutral and had different priorities.  She’s not a bad person.

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