(Closed) My daughter is being bullied and I dont know what to do…frustrated vent

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 92
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MsAmandaAnn:  

@graygodess20:  I’m also from the area.  It was terrible.  

OP, I hope there was some progress made today!

Post # 93
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Good luck, OP!  Keep us posted.  Don’t leave until they do something for you!

Post # 94
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@redheadem:  I agree with this.

This breaks my heart. I would make sure the police persue this throughly and press charges.

Post # 95
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

This is just horrible. I can’t believe they’re not doing anything about it IMMEDIATELY! Ugh, so angry at them for you!

I hope some action is taken today when you go. Update us when you can!

Post # 96
Hostess
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@graygodess20:  

@Vidya:  

 

One of them was actually from my HS and another from my SO’s school.  Absolutely heartbreaking.  🙁

 

ETA:  It’s nice to have local bees.  🙂

Post # 97
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I just read all the posts on this. I cannot believe this is happening. I am so infuriated for your daughter and for you.

Add me to the list of supporters and please let us know how it goes!

Post # 98
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I am so sorry to here this! I would definitely have someone watch from a distance and RECORD it so YOU HAVE PROOF and take them to COURT! Another option would be to arm your daughter with PEPPER SPRAY (maybe it will make them think twice)?!

Post # 99
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If the incidents aren’t happening at school, why would suing the school be the solution? There is only so much they can do. This is a criminal matter. Keep your daughter home from school or change schools if possible. Get a lawyer who can obtain a restraining order. 

Post # 100
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family.Im hoping and praying that something gets resolved today for you and your daughter to help ensure her safety. I can honestly say I wouldnt know what to do in this situation if it was me, I would be on a rampage. Give them hell and the very,very best of luck today.

Post # 101
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Talk to the principle and find some way of allowing her to stay at the school longer so that someone else can pick her up or drop her off at home.  I wouldn’t allow my child to walk home after being beaten up by other children from school.  I also agree with PPs to not let this go.  Keep going up the ladder of command and make sure you get everyone’s names as well as dates that you speak with them.  Make sure they are all aware of what is going on so they can be held acocuntable if somehting were to happen.  I would almost request that my child be allowed to stay home and do her work until the investigation was complete but no matter what the outcome, your child will probably still be bullied.

Post # 102
Member
3356 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@pharmy:  or the snot beaten out of their parents. seriously. they are doing nothing about their little bullies? Unacceptable.

Post # 103
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Firstly, I’m sorry this is happening to your daughter. Secondly, you don’t need the children’s names. Have a lawyer send a legal letter to the school district, stating that you intend to take legal action unless the matter is resolved, and that furthermore you will keep your child at home until such time, for her own safety. There have been quite a few cases where parents have sued school districts for bullying. If they drag you to court (which is highly unlikely in the circumstances) you can counter-sue. Thirdly, teaching a child self-defence is not teaching them how to be violent. It’s empowering them. She needs to go for self-defence courses and learn how to use a taser that she can carry on her. No child is going to attack her after she has tasered their friend, even if they are in a group. 

Post # 104
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I agree that you should go public. Also, I don’t know what your work situation is but I’d arrange for a late lunch or whatever it took with my employer to make sure that my daughter is picked up immediately outside of the school by either a parent or trusted adult so that she is physically protected.

Is any bullying happening IN the school? I just don’t understand! She’s being abused by kids she doesn’t even know.

This makes me scared for our future.

Post # 105
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wish you could publish the district’s phone number so we could all call.  “I heard this horrible story on the Internet…is this TRUE?”  A bunch of calls like that would get a response.

 

But.  Please don’t share the info!!!

Post # 106
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I feel really bad saying this, because bulling is such a big problem, and I *do* feel it’s terrible that a kid can’t walk home from school without having 3 kids try to harm them.

 

However, I’m confused about something.  Is this happening after school, in your neighbordhood, while she’s walking home?  Or is it happening on school grounds, and during the day, as well?

I ask, because I am a Middle School teacher/librarian and I can tell you…the school isn’t *really* responsible for what happens off schools grounds.  What I mean by that, is that YES, school are now starting to punish students in school if they are bullying others outside of school (say, online, or yes…on a walk home), and so the school was right to call the parents of the students who are hurting your daughter. 

But the teachers in the school and the administration can’t actually leave school grounds to escort students home to every neighbordhood–it just isn’t possible, and most parents would find it “creepy” if teachers were following your children home.  So unless this is happening on school grounds, no one at the school can do anything to prevent your daughter being alone when she walks home.

This is where parenting comes in.  You will have to arrange a permanent solution for your daughter’s transportation after school.  Technically, your daughter is a minor and someone should be in charge of her at all times.  I understand that she feels too old to have a babysitter, but clearly, she is still in a position to need adult supervision/escort after school until you come home.

I’m telling you this as a person that works in a public school.  In my old school, it was a well-known fact (the parents knew, the police knew, and community knew) that students would leave our school, go a few blocks to a community center, and have fights there where they knew teachers wouldn’t be there to stop them.  What could we do about that?? We have no “jurisdiction” at a community center.  If parents are choosing to let their children run around after school, without adult supervision… what can we do about it?  I saw those same kids being dropped off at malls on weekend for hours at a time, where they would run around the mall being ridiculous and disruptive.  Teachers and the school don’t have any say in what happens at the local mall any more than we do on the neighborhood streets that aren’t school property.

 

So although it’s a very sad situation, and I do feel like as a parent you need to do everything you can to protect your daughter, I feel like the school is doing everything they legally can, if they aren’t there to witness these events and if it’s happening off school grounds.

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