(Closed) My daughter needs a BRA!!!!!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
4846 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What? It’s just a bra! Better she be excited than go through the self loathing embarrassment so many kids go through. I hope she’s got a good book on puberty if she’s starting it early as well. As for the panties matching, its because it’s pretty. I sure feel like I’ve got my life together a little bit more when my stuff matches. Let her have fun with it. 

Post # 17
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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scarcerayne:  I am dreading this day! I am from a family of late bloomers, so hopefully my girls will follow suit. It’s crazy that girls are so excited about bra shopping and what not these days. In a way it’s sad because everything is so sexualized. But then again, being able to talk about things without being embarrassed can be a good thing. I’m not sure how I will bring up the subject when the time comes. And what the heck? Training bras are padded? No. Just, no. You totally just freaked me out about all this business.

Post # 18
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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PeachyMama:  It was exciting for me (and I want it to be exciting for my daughters) because it meant I was growing up and becoming an adult.

My mother shared in that excitement and it made it a positive experience – if my mum had acted horrified or been negative around it, I think my body image would be an awful lot worse than it is. Yes everything is sexualised but breasts exist and wearing a bra doesn’t sexualise you immediately. Sexualised media has lead us to immediately think that bra shopping is sexual when it’s not – it’s an exciting time in a young woman’s life. 

This is just my opinion of course, but I do believe that the more open we can be and the more we can normalise our changing bodies by talking about it, the better our body image will be. I learned to associate my changing body with positivity because mum made me feel special during that time.

Post # 19
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

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scarcerayne:  Maybe look further afield for bras that seem suitable? I can see how padded bras for young girls could be disturbing. Unless she has gone from nothing to Katy Perry she probably doesn’t need underwire, or lift or any of that jazz. Perhaps sports bras designed for ‘high impact’ if they exist in her size…they tend to be very comfy, lined (no nipples showing through t-shirts) not padded and can have a minor minimising effect. Then maybe let her choose one bra that is ‘pretty’ (in her opinion) even just to wear at home. Bras are just items of clothing that serve a purpose, it doesn’t all need to be matching sets etc but this will make it a bit more fun.

Post # 20
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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nearlymrshill:  Oh my mom tried to make it exciting for me and she encouraged my questions. But I felt a little embarrassed going bra shopping for the first time. And going to the store to buy pads? We ran into one of my moms friends the first time in THE AISLE and I was horrified. They were just talking about me and how great it was to be growing up. She was asking me all these questions about how I was feeling, if I had cramps, was I going to use tampons so I could go swimming. Oh please! I was so red and started crying. Blame the raging hormones and that I tend to be embarrassed about stuff that shouldn’t be embarrassing. I was traumatized! lol. As far as the sexualization goes, I think it’s the matching bras and panties, training bras with padding and push ups, etc is what I’m not liking. Those are for adult women, not tweens. There is no reason for girls in Jr High to be pushing them up and making them look bigger.

Post # 21
Member
7938 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My daughter is 11 and began wearing a bra this year. I’ve had pretty good luck at Target findi g bras for her- more sports bra type and if they had pads they were removeable. If you don’t have a “sex” book yet, I would re come d this series that I used with my daughter:

Post # 24
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

Ugh I wish my daughter would wear one. My eldest didn’t need one until she was 13. She’s very feminine so it was easy to get her into one. 

My youngest is ten and needs them. I’ve bought her so many I’m pretty sure she has more than I do, but she won’t wear them. She is very Tom boyish … I’ve found her bras in the garbage, tucked in her pillow cases…they are just missing. ..

Now she refuses to go anywhere without a sweater. She won’t wear just a t – shirt. .because you can see them.  I’m hoping this summer she comes around. We will see.  One day she will. I was a Tom boy at her age and did the same thing (I’d never admit that too her though..lol) eventually I gave up and wore the bra..lol.

Post # 25
Member
9428 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i got AF early, i was in 5th grade.  it was a pain in my ass.  i also developed early.  at 9 i started wearing a bra and not long after couldn’t go without one.

i was petite, little, and well endowed most of my youth. i got a lot of unwanted attentetion and i tried to cover and hide as best as i could.  i finally had a breast reduction at 27 and it was the best thing i ever did.

 

 

Post # 26
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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scarcerayne:  I was one of the girls who went through the self-loathing time when I started to develop. I refused to wear a bra until middle school, even though I needed one well before then. I just felt so crappy about my body for changing – if she’s excited about getting a bra, I say encourage it haha. It will make other things so much easier down the road.

Post # 27
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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scarcerayne:  I don’t have a daughter but I developed very early myself. I started my period when I was 9 and I had started wearing bras that same year.

One book that REALLY helped me through the early stages of puberty was “The Care & Keeping of You” it’s from the American Girl book line. I think I’ve seen it on Amazon recently.  I started my period before we had ‘the puberty talk’ in school so I had no idea what was happening to me!

Post # 28
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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thelovebelow:  I wish I could help more but I’m not a mom haha. I think I was 11 when I got my first bras. I wasn’t nearly as excited as your daughter, I cried instead haha. Maybe try sports bras to start? That’s what my mom did, they look more like under tops than bras and aren’t as “cute/sexy” (I HATE to use sexy to describe a training bra but I’m not sure how else to describe how training bras are now a days!) Then you can gradually go to real training bras once you find some that are appropriate. I’m sure places like Target would have some that aren’t padded. 

Post # 29
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

My Dear Daughter is 11 and started wearing a bra regularly this year. We buy her the Maidenform seamless crop bras with removable modesty pads/liners. I think she will have a harder time transitioning to more structured bras, but she doesn’t need those yet, so we won’t worry about that until we are there. Fortunately, she has not had her period yet, which is fabulous because I had mine in 4th grade. I’ve been very open and honest about changes, and I am so glad she is able to come to me with her questions (my own mum could NOT discuss anything body or sex related). Best of all, she still seems happy and confident with who she is, so I hope that continues (forever!).

Post # 30
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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thelovebelow:  get her the bra so you don’t have to worry about the boys just yet and any unwarrented attention. 

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