Post # 1
Bees, i am all for sharing and love helping other people out, especially when it comes to something as important as a wedding. But recently it has become too much.
My guy and i have been engaged for 3 years now and are finally getting around to get married, we waited to be done with school. We now have the dated picked and October is quickly approaching.
Shortly after we announced our date out friends got engaged too. I was so happy to have a friend who would understand the pains of wedding planning.
But then she changed her date to 2 weeks after ours, and is quickly becoming a mirror of mine.
Like i said i don’t mind sharing ideas but she has completely changed her wedding to match mine same theme, same flowers, almost identical venues. I’ve tried talking to her about it but all that came out of it was snarky remarks about me to other friends and her ignoring me at gatherings.
Am I being silly for feeling like my wedding is being highjacked?
Post # 3
Did she ever talk about her “wedding” before she got engaged? Like have ideas and then change them to things and ideas you are having?
Post # 4
It’s an unfortuante situation to be in and you would think every bride would want their wedding to be special and unique. The good thing for you is that your wedding is first so if you have a similar guest list, it may be obvious that she mimicked your wedding. Having said that, even if colours, flowers and decor are similar, they will never be exactly the same. It is unique because it is YOUR wedding. I suggest that if you continue to discuss wedding plans with her, to limit the amount of information you share and maybe suggest other ideas to help her plan the wedding. Maybe she does not know where to go to find her own inspiration. The fact that she is copying your ideas is actually a compliment! I wouldn’t let it bother you that much.
Post # 5
Thanks girls, I think it also helped to vent.
@morgyporgy: She did, completely different ones. She had first picked a winter wedding with black and white for the colors. Then as we started planning she switched the date and everything else followed
@deedledee19: Thanks for the advice. That’s what i try to keep in mind, it’s our wedding, about our love, not a show we’re putting on.
Post # 6
Actually everyone will assume she copied you so she will be the one looking bad.
Post # 7
@bricon: That is exactly what I would think if I attended both weddings.
OP, since there is nothing you can do, try to look at it as a form of flattery? And maybe keep the rest of your details on the down low 🙂 Just say that you want it to “be a surprise” for the guests. I’m sorry 🙁
Post # 8
Sometimes, this can be seen as flattering. If it annoys you, I would just stop telling her about your wedding.
Post # 9
Honestly? I would make up a bunch of outlandish stuff you’d never do, and share away. But I’m evil like that. LOL
Post # 10
At least your wedding is first! I’d be more worried if she scheduled hers two weeks BEFORE yours.
Post # 11
Like the others said, both of your weddings will be unique in their own way regardless of her copyright infringements! Take it as a compliment though, she loved your ideas enough to want to emulate them! 🙂
Post # 12
I don’t think you’re being silly for feeling hijacked. I’m sure you put a lot of thought and effort into planning your special day and having someone copy it, cheapens all the hard work that you put into your own event.
I’ve been in your shoes: first a my friend’s fiance (now wife) blatantly copied my wedding invitations (and denied it) and after that incident another friend who had gotten engaged soon after my wedding copied my entire wedding – from my theme, to the origami, to the hair and make up, to her bridal shower, personalized website and wedding cake – she copied everything! It is frustrating to have someone steal your creativity and on top of it all deny that they copied and then turn around and act all snotty about it. Trust me, I’ve been there twice and it’s certainly no fun and unfortunately there’s really not much you can do. However, try your best to take it as a complement no matter how annoying and frustrating it can be and don’t let these cheap immitation/uncreative brides (or so-called friend) get under your skin and ruin an otherwise happy occassion. Good luck and happy planning 🙂
Post # 13
it is a frustrating feeling, at least its not 2 weeks before yours! That would be worse, then it would look like you had copied her…..
My cousin did that to me 🙁 everything we said we wanted to do they decided they were going to do, then after we had our date picked they picked 2 weeks before (and sent a tacky emial save the date to family and friends a year before, like he was trying to beat us to it) …… I was like really?!? My feelings were hurt, when i told them my feeling were hurt that they would pick 2 weeks before and do the same thing we were planning on doing he told me I was being a bridzilla and that it was the only time his “professor friends” could go. I was like well April is acutally a bad time for “professor friends” that right before exams and way after spring break….. We have not talked since, that was a year ago.
Post # 15
@Mrs.Ebers: I totally went through this with my maid of honor!!! She literally took every one of my ideas and made them crappy!! It was so frustrating because she would constantly talk about her wedding and never asked about mine. She even insisted on trying on a wedding dress during the first time I was trying on dresses, even though I went with her previously to watch her try dresses on! In the end, I had to end our friendship because it was too much for me to handle, and I was depressed having her in my life. I totally understand what you are going through! You are not overreacting. It is not flattering. It is a huge annoyance and you feel like all of your ideas are being taken!!