(Closed) My dear pops won’t agree!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Tell your bf that he doesn’t need your father’s permission to marry you. I think it’s mostly just a sad nod to tradition nowadays, anyway. Your father raised you, yes, but it’s not like you’re asking his parents if you can marry him!

Do what you want, of course, but it’s not the 1800s. Tell your father you’d like to have his blessing, but it’s not necessary. Tongue out

Post # 4
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s a tough situation. You said your dad had a few beers, so maybe he would be a little more reserved when your bf asks?

I know my dad would have said yes (he loves DH) but Darling Husband was so nervous and is super shy, so I told him he didn’t need to ask mostly so he wouldn’t wait longer until he worked up the courage to ask my dad.

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Why don’t you talk to your dad about it and see where he stands on the topic.  You should let him know it’s important to you that you have his approval.  And if you really don’t care, but know that your SO would want the approval, you should just let your SO know it isn’t important to you to have your fathers approval.

Post # 6
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with all the previous posters comments…but also would like to add that I thought it was really important for my Fiance to ask my dad’s permission (we’re about the same age), and now I’m finding that I don’t need my dad’s permissing or approval for anything in my life – much less my love life. 

It’s a personal choice, but maybe talking with your Fiance and then your dad about the issue that it would help come to a good medium 🙂

-good luck!

Post # 7
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I think your dad was just ‘grumbling’ as he processes the idea that his little girl really is growing up. And it was after a few beers.

Also, he could be just testing your Boyfriend or Best Friend. If your Boyfriend or Best Friend actually has the resolve to sit down and have a serious discussion with your father I do think it would go well. Probably better than you think.

And I agree that your Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t need his “permission” per se. He could ask for his blessing, and if he doesn’t get it, you can still get married.

Post # 8
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I think when you’re a grown, educated adult in a serious relationship it’s sort of silly to wait on a parent’s approval. Do they approve the job you have, the degree you have or the car you drive? I understand that it’s important to some people and my sister’s husband asked my dad while my other sisters’ did not. Some may think it’s a nice thing to do. . .I think it’s a gesture that celebrates a culture in which women were sold (dowries) from one man to the next.

I do agree that you should tell your dad that you’re ready to get married and while you value his advice, you’ll be making this decision with your Fiance and only him. If you insist on your Fiance asking your dad, make sure you let him know that you’re going to marry him whether or not your dad says ‘yes.’

Post # 9
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

daddy doesn’t own you.  if you want to marry him and he wants to marry you, get married.

now if dad doesn’t want you marrying him because of who it is (not just your age), you may want to listen up.  sometimes parents are dead on about things like that.

 

Post # 10
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

posted before i was done….

 

so go talk to your dad.  talk to your boyfriend.  they’ll have more information than an internet board.

Post # 11
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Dad probably wasn’t REAL serious. But if he thinks you’re getting married young, I don’t think it’d hurt to say “dad, i’m going to be getting married sometime in the next year or two” and if he says “you’re so young!” know that it’s mostly just daddy’s little girl syndrome. Chances are you’re out of college and everything and you’re just growing up right before his eyes.

Post # 12
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I SO agree with this artichokey—>I think when you’re a grown, educated adult in a serious relationship it’s sort of silly to wait on a parent’s approval. Do they approve the job you have, the degree you have or the car you drive?

Post # 13
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@ejs4y8: I agree. My daddy didn’t want me to kiss my FH (and he said that a few months before we got engaged). lol

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