(Closed) My dear (s)mother

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No advice re: your mom, but I used to live in Riverdale, so PM me if you want any apartment-hunting advice.  Personally, I hated living there, but it is nice and I know lots of people who like it.

Post # 4
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Argghhh!  I know exactly what you mean!  I currently live about two blocks from where I work and my Fiance lives about an hour away from me but about 10 minutes from his job.  So we’re looking for a house in the middle from both of our jobs so we can commute about a half hour to work.  And my mom keeps saying stuff like, “I don’t understand why you’d want to move so far away when you can walk to work.” 

I don’t know how to deal with my mom either.  Mostly, I just ignore her when she says stupid stuff. 

Post # 5
Member
826 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m sorry :/ My mom is totally smothering too. I posted a thread about it last week, even. I’ve yet to figure out how to deal with her, she takes it personally when I point out that I need some space. *SIGH* Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

Sorry she doesn’t seem supportive of this.  I would keep the details about the move and where you are going to a minimum.  If she pesters you, say “Mom, this topic is no longer up for discussion.  How is your salad?  (change the subject).”  If she keeps it up “Like I said, this topic is not up for discussion.  If you continue to talk about it, I will leave/hang up” and DO IT! 

I honestly hate that she is this way with you; FI’s mom is the same way and I figured that with him being 30 and on his own for awhile she could get a grip as well but not yet.  Why do they have to tear every single little thing apart?  Why can’t they just be happy for once or show some positive emotion?

Post # 7
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

My mom can get like this too sometimes, so I can definitely commiserate. I guess this is the downside of having a mother who’s very involved in the wedding and willing to pay for it – they want to be involved and give advice on everything else as well. To put it in perspective, my mom does the constant advice-giving and smothering without paying for the wedding, so I don’t think you’ve got it that bad 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Are you sure we’re not related?

Post # 10
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper

I hope someday you all realize how lucky you really are to have Mothers that ARE involved and DO care about your lives,decisions, and choices. How many on here lament the fact that they WANt their Moms to be more excited,interested and there for them? Don’t you realize yet that being a Mom never ends,especially when you think it should? It will be interesting for you to reflect back once you have your own children,how very like your own Mothers you’ve become.

It really isn’t smothering….its simply Mothering. Give her a break. She’s doing what she does best,tho you don’t realize it.

 

Post # 11
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Smyley you do have a point, Moms will always worry about things. But just from your posts on here, I feel like you’ve given your daughters a little more freedom and a little less hassle than some of the other posters’ moms.

Personally, I feel you… my mom talks crap BEHIND my back because she thinks I don’t have a plan, I just don’t want to get married… I just wanted to plan a wedding. Yeah, I’d trade the wedding to keep my Fiance any day!

Post # 12
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

The Bronx gets a bad rap.  I went through a similar situation with my mom when I told her I was moving to the Bronx.  My advice would be to ask her to go apt hunting with you, let her see the area for herself.  Thats what changed my moms mind.  I’m in the Throggs Neck area of the Bronx.  It’s much more suburbs feeling than other areas and I live on the water and even have a little private beach.  Who would have guessed that was even possible in the Bronx!  Now my mom is in love with the place!  And you definitely get so much more for your money in the Bronx.  Let her see all you would gain by moving and hopefully she’ll come around. Good luck 🙂

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