Post # 1
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper
The title says it all. I’m being ridiculous and having a total double standard with DH.
I was supposed to go out with a friend for dinner tonight. Because of it – DH made plans with a bunch of co-workers to go to a bar. I had to work late and cancelled on said friend. DH told me to join them if I could.
Why am I upset? Because there’s a girl going that has been going with DH lots of places lately and I’m totally jealous! It’s ridiculous, honestly. He’s given me NO reason to be jealous, but the evil green monster is rearing it’s head.
I go out with my single guy friends and DH doesn’t bat an eye. He goes out with his co-workers and she’s there and I’m sad about it.
Any advice for taking a chill pill?
Post # 3
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Go with him? He invited you 🙂
Post # 4
Member
6391 posts
Bee Keeper
Aww, sucky. I usually just complain to my friends when that happens to me. I’ve definitely been there! 🙁
Post # 5
Member
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
@bakerella: I second this.
We all have our irrational jealousies at times so why not go to the bar tonight (he did invite you so this would not be the slightest bit crazy) and spend some time with your DH. It will put your mind at ease and you might even enjoy yourself! 🙂
Post # 6
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I would totally go meet them!
Post # 7
Member
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’m a super jealous person… I agree with alll the PP’s I’d go to the bar with them… it’s not a problem at all since he invited you! 😉
Post # 8
Member
4322 posts
Honey bee
There’s a saying out there: Those with nothing to hide always hide nothing. Sooooo– I think that says it all since he invited you along. Don’t sweat it. Maybe try to get to know this girl a little so you can see her as a person rather than a threat.
Post # 9
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
@StuporDuck: agreed.
He invited you, so go! You might actually see that this person isnt the big deal you have turn her into in your mind.
Post # 10
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
I think you have nothing to worry about, since he invited you along. That being said, I think I would totally be feeling the same as you if Fiance had a girl friend!
Post # 11
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@StuporDuck: ooh, love this saying. This will be my new mantra when I’m feeling down.
Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate the support and advice. I thought about meeting up with them last night, but I decided I didn’t need to go (since it was 100% fueled by jealousy). I also had a crazy long day at work and figured I wasn’t up for socializing. So, I went home and went on a walk (something I’ve been wanting to get into the habit of doing).
It didn’t help that when DH got home he was all dressed up. I think this is a good dose of medicine for me – since I get all dressed up when I go out…. and he’s mentioned it before.
I’ve met this girl before and got neutral vibes from her. I think my view of this girl is she’s young and fun… she goes out with all the guys from work and joins DH and his work friends for lunch (and is usually the only girl that joins them).
I know in my heart of hearts that I have nothing to worry about – BUT for whatever reason, it channels my insecurties to know he’s out having fun with another girl. …just when I’m starting to believe I’m ‘not the jealous’ type 😉 I soooo am!
Post # 12
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
@oracle:Been there. If you ever find a way to not be jealous, clue me in. I hate when other girls have the attention of my Fiance, even if it is completely harmless. I think it is just “women” nature.
Post # 13
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
@coffeegal85: I don’t think it’s really “women” nature–I’m not really a jealous person at all, despite having been cheated on in past relationships. I think it has more to do with your personal nature than your gender!
Post # 14
Member
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@oracle: That kind of stuff makes me insecure, too, but I think we’re all prone to insecurities at times, in different capacities. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Post # 15
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
put on the sexiest dress you have and go with him and make sure she KNOWS that he is YOURS!! good luck.