Post # 1
I tried on my dress Thursday night and realized that I purchased a dress with PICKUPS!!! It’s not that I didn’t see the pickups when I chose the dress, it’s just that they weren’t the focal point or reason that I chose the dress. I just wanted a dress that flattered my figure, made me feel like a bride and fit within my budget. I never specifically looked for pickups in my dress search. In fact most of the dresses I tried on had zero pickups. Another thing is that the pickups seem much more plentiful and full of energy on my dress than they were on the sample. I didn’t realize until Thursday that the back was so crazy pickup-y.
Anyway since Thursday, I became aware of the general sense of hatred for pickups all over the hive. I’ve read things like “I hate pickups” to “pickups are so trendy” to “pickups will be the puffy sleeves of the 80s.” OMG really? Now I’m freaking out. Is everyone at our wedding going to look at my dress in distaste? I didn’t know that pickups were such a distasteful trend when I bought the dress. I just saw them as another design element like lace, beading, flowers on the skirt, sashes, tulle, etc. But now I’m so upset about my choice. I almost cried yesterday thinking about it.
Are pickups horrible enough that I should try to rid myself of this dress and find a new one off the rack? I only have three months to go until the wedding. Or maybe the seamstress can remove some of the pickups from at least the back of the dress? help! I wish I could post a pic of my dress but the upload tool is not working. 🙁
Post # 3
what dress is it we can google search it.
if you chose it because it fit well, flattered your figure, and you felt good it in it then that is all that should matter really. i had horrible dress regret through most of my wedding planning – it wasnt until the day of my actual wedding that i fell in love with my dress all over again, i remembered why i bought it.
how do YOU feel about pickups? because your guests dont know what is in and what is out in the wedding world – only we do because we are wedding crazies haha…i think they can look good, and i think they can be overdone, it all depends on the dress really.
Post # 4
It’s purely a matter of taste. Some women hate lace, others love it. Same for pickups, or strapless dresses or beading or ANYTHING when it comes to wedding dresses. If you liked the way you felt in the dress, don’t be worried about what other people think about the pickups. Also, they probably didn’t look as “pickupy” in the sample because the constant use of the dress probably caused them to fall or wilt a little bit. If you prefer that look, maybe try wearing your dress around the house for a little bit each day to get the pickups to loosen a little.
Post # 5
Don’t worry about what other people think.. everyone has different tastes. I actually like pick ups.
The imporant thing is that YOU like the dress and that you feel good in the dress.
Post # 6
You tried the dress on and loved it – it made you feel awesome and confident and bridelike. That’s all that needs to happen 🙂
Unfortunately, while the Bee and other sites are so helpful to us, sometimes they are harmful, too.
Do not try to please the masses. They don’t know how you felt in that dress or what it looks like on you. All that matters is that YOU loved it when you got it.
The reason the pickups are probably more noticeable to you now is that samples in the shop kinda get beat to hell 🙂 So they yellow a little, stretch out a little, and ‘defloof’ a little. If you don’t like how it’s looking, just try it on more often at home (make sure you put down a clean, white sheet) and let the salon or whereever it’s being altered and steamed know you would prefer them to be less puffy.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t worry about it as long as you felt beautiful and happy in it. There are always going to be people who like your dress and people who don’t. You’re the one that matters! If you still think it’s too much, I know seamstresses can let some out. A friend of mine recently had that done and likes her dress a lot more now.
Post # 8
When people say those things about pick-ups it is just their preference and many people are going to have different preferences from you. That doesn’t mean that you can’t love your dress. I had a tulle ballgown and many Bee’s don’t like tulle ballgowns but I LOVED my dress and rocked it on my wedding day.
As far as your dress being dated – everything about weddings gets dated – the dresses (pick-ups or not), the photography, the decor, the hairstyles etc. So don’t even worry about! You are getting married in 2011 and there are very few things that will be in style forever.
You need to love your dress and not worry about what anyone else thinks, especially strangers on a website! Try on your dress again and think about everything that made you fall in love with it in the first place! Many brides have worn dresses with pick-ups and looked fabulous I am sure you will too!
Post # 9
I didn’t want pickups, however the dress I fell in love with had a few scattered ones. I wouldn’t have changed the way they dress looked on that day at all. Please don’t let opinions about a style of dress sway you. There are so many things that the hive doesn’t like, it shouldn’t send you into full panic.
Post # 10
I hate pickups on me–it doesn’t add to my figure the way I wanted it to.
That being said–at Easter I saw a little girl in an Easter dress with pickups and it was adorable.
I’ve seen brides who totally rock their dress with pickups.
And…. when my dress is bustled, I chose a bustle that kind of looks like pickups, even though I “hate” them.
Don’t worry about it. People will love it, you will love it, and you will look AMAZING.
Post # 11
I’m personally not a fan of pickups, but that doesn’t mean they don’t look great on other women! Like others have said, you love the dress. Remember what it is about it that you love, and focus on that. It is YOUR dress, no one else’s!
Post # 12
I personally think pickups are fine! I actually like them!
Be happy with your dress–you chose it for a reason! Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, all that matters is that it makes you feel beautiful.
Post # 13
I’m not a fan of pickups, except in rare occasion, but who gives a damn about what I have to say. It’s your wedding dress, your day. I’m not paying, attending, or helping you plan, so do what’s best for you.
Also, who cares if pickups will or won’t be the puffy sleeves of the 80s. All trends go out of style at some point. I bet in years, people will be like, “You wore a mermaid dress?! What were you doing? Performing in ‘Dreamgirls’?!”
So don’t sweat it! Breathe! AND Love your dress!
Post # 14
I agree with the other Bees. Don’t worry about what other people think is trendy or not. You fell in love with it for a reason and I’m sure it looks amazing on you!
Post # 15
When I went to try on wedding gowns (I mean, when else AM I gonna be able to try on wedding gowns? LOL) my Maid/Matron of Honor went with me. She usually HATES pick-ups, but the dress I tried on (DB’s alternative to the Ariel dress by Alfred Angelo) had pick-ups and she LOVED it on me!
Seriously, she SAID she normally hates pick-ups, but loved it on me.
So, I’d say as long as the dress looks awesome on you (and why wouldn’t it?), that’s what’s going to make the difference! It’s how you pull it off and how secure you feel in the dress.
I defiitely agree with the PP’s: it’s YOUR dress, YOU love it, and THAT is all that matters (ok, well, that and hopefully your Fiance will be awe-struck by you in it. I mean, his opinion counts, too, right? 😉 )
Post # 16
Thanks bees! You have all already made me feel tons better about my dress. You are right, I shouldn’t try to please the masses. There is not a single dress, thing, idea or person that everyone in the world will love. What matters in this case is what I love. Thanks for putting some sense back into me.
@totheislnds: That’s so reassuring to hear that even though you had dress regret throughout yor planning you fell in love with your dress again on the wedding day. 🙂 I guess we just feel so much pressure for everything to be perfect. Even though I wasn’t seeking out pickups when looking for my own dress I always thought they were pretty. You make a good point that people who aren’t immersed in the wedding world won’t know what’s in or out. 🙂 The designer of the dress is a local Canadian designer – Barbara Allin and unfortunately she doesn’t have a website. I can’t wait until photos work again on this site.
@Elarissa: Yay! A positive vote for pickups. Thanks! 🙂
@thewheelsonthebus: and @ohheavenlyday: thank you bees! and good idea re: wearing the dress around the house and talking to the salon about defloofing. 🙂
@Keltaena: Yay! I’m so glad to know that your friend was able to get some pickups taken out. Thanks for letting me know. I am going to ask my seamstress to do that to the back of the dress for sure. Just to tame it a bit. 😉
@FMM: I LOVE tulle. I think it looks incredibly ethereal and romantic.:) You are right, there is always going to be someone that hates something. And everything is going to eventually look outdated.
@mwitter80: haha you’re right. I need to have more confidence in my choices.