- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
About a month ago, Fiance and I were not talking wedding at all. I just assumed that we were going to do a traditional, white day, where all cousins, family members, children of family members, etc. would be invited.
Well this weekend we sat down and seriously discussed what we want. We decided to go with what we have been talking about for 2 years – a destination wedding in FL. We did some research, found what is probably going to be our venue…and the package that would work best for us would allow up to 30 guests. So of course we wrote up a guest list allowing 15 from each side of our families.
The problem being, we probably cannot invite children. Between his siblings and their spouses and the rest of his family, there is not any room for kids (each of his siblings have 2 kids, plus his cousin has 2 kids). My 15 people is very bare-boned and I have no room left, either.
What I am worried about is the fact that about a month ago before we were even thinking about planning, his aunt sent me an email and in it was a whole section about how her daughter and son in law went to a wedding several states away that did not allow children and she thought that this was very rude. And of course my stupid self wrote back ‘don’t worry, we would have kids there!’. OMG. I could smack myself…because now I am eating my words! I really, really, really know that there is not going to be a way for us to invite kids. If we invite one couple’s child, then we have to invite all couple’s children. And we can’t swing that.
We want to do a destination wedding b/c it will force us to keep it small and not allow our families to rule the guest list. We did not fall in love with any local venues and we knew the moment we saw this venue in FL 2 yrs ago that this would someday be IT for us. We are just not into the traditional, white wedding scene. They are beautiful and I love pictures and attending them…but it really is not us.
So my question is…how do I handle the aunt when she finds out that her grandkids are not invited? She is outspoken, as well as most of the females in his family, and I’m sure I’m going to be the one to get the heat from them about not having children. How do I rectify this, especially after telling her we were planning on having kids there? I want to be prepared, so I don’t get blindsided when she brings it up at some inappropriate time (like his family usually does).