(Closed) My Dying father living with my FI & I

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You are NOT a horrible person!   Not at all!!  If you need to, try reaching out to the rest of your family.  Maybe they can take shifts with your father so you get a little bit of time to breathe.

I’m so sorry to hear about this.  Please don’t forget to take really good care of yourself in this difficult time.

Post # 4
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

(((HUGS)))) take a breath.  this situation sucks.  No way around it.  I think you should get hospice in more than just two days aweek.  you need to get a break, get someone to take care of his personal needs, bathing, and things like that. 


get a nurse in there every day.  I took my great aunt in… long story but she was end stage lukemia and was 84.  It was so hard to see her like that.   I worked full time, I moved back home, we set her up in my dad’s living room.  

Nurses came everyday.  I sat with her every night and we took shifts.  My brother’s had kids but they came and did two hour shifts, after their kids went to bed.  We all had full time jobs but it’s not fair to dump this all on one person.   Your sister can do a few hours a week, so can your brother.   it’s not easy at all, and the resentment must factor in there too.  But I’m so glad we did it.  It brought us all closer and really focused us on what was important. 

hang in there.  There are services that are available.  Talk to yoru Dad’s doctor.  We filled out a ton of paper work, TONS but it was helpful. 

Post # 5
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Being the caregiver to a family member is an enormously difficult task. You need to reach out to your family, you guys can’t do this alone. If your siblings can’t help, it’s okay to seek out paid caregivers if the budget allows or find a better place for him to live by speaking with his doctor. Have you considered joining a family caregiver support group?

Post # 6
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


First off I am sorry about what you are going through. I work in hospice and highly recommend hospice. They would be able to help you out and make things easier on you. Please PM me with any questions. Best wishes to you!

Post # 7
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I work for our state’s human services department, and our unit oversees a program that helps provide in home services to keep people from having to go into a nursing facility. I also served as primary caregiver for my mom as she battled cancer, so  I can relate to how you’re feeling. You are not horrible for feeling this way! Caring for someone during end stages illness is one of the most difficult things you can do. I echo the comments about getting more help. Every state has some form of home care. program; each with its own rrequirements. Contact your. local state human services (or whatever your state calls it); they should be able to assist you. And if you’d like, I’d be happy to help research. Just pm your state and I’ll see what I can find.

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