(Closed) My e-ring is beautiful but I dont love it !! I think My fiance has notice. Help

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that its ok to be upset. When my Fiance told me he got me a different ring I pouted! But you have to look at it as him trying to be sweet and do something different and surprise you. Also, you can always upgrade later, or get a rockin band to go with! But if you are really upset with it, be honest and tell him. He will know if you don’t really like it and that might hurt him more. I’m sure he would want you to be happy.

Post # 4
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

You have to wear that ring FOREVER, rip the band-aid off and ‘fess up. Remember, he WANTS to make you happy.

Post # 5
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

usually i don’t say go with the one you want but in this case, definitely yes! i wonder if he had the card and the store sold him the wrong one??

Post # 6
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Return it! Laugh it off with him and explain the practical side of it. Yes, rings mean a lot of things but that doesn’t mean that meaning can’t transfer to a ring more your style. 20 years from now you will wish you had spoken up.

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Speak up. The longer you keep this from your FH and he thinks your happy the worse you’re going to come off when you do tell him. If he loves you, and I’m sure he does, then you have nothing to worry about.

Post # 8
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you’re absolutely positive you can’t love your ring for the fact that it represents his forever commitment to you, just tell him.  I think you will hurt his feelings pretty badly whether you tell him you don’t like it or you’re always upset when you look at it, so you might as well get what you want, especially since you feel as though you deserve it.

Post # 9
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

can we see the like but not love ring??

Post # 10
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

I think based on the way you answered his question, the cat is already out of the bag. Go ahead and tell him you want the other one. Just make sure that you let him know that he did an awesome job and stress that you really appreciate that he put so much thought and time into getting the ring–you just had your heart set on that particular one.

Post # 11
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

What is it exactly that you don’t like about this ring???  The size of the center stone?  The shape of the center stone? The metal? The setting? 

I’m asking because I wonder if there isn’t something that could be salvaged from this ring and combined with something else that you like from your chosen ring….like could you just replace the center stone?  Or change the setting?  This might help you to compromise with the Fiance.  Just a thought 🙂

Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Good luck…I wasnt in love with what I got either, but Fiance designed it himself so thats what I keep telling myself.  In turn, I do love its uniqueness…

Post # 14
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

what I would do is I would go the store on my own and ask them what the policy is to exchange a ring.  If he is going to lose money, then I would stick with it and think this is the one my FH chose for me.  If it isn’t going to cost anything to exchange it, then I would maybe consider exchanging it.

I know you said to be honest but I asked my Darling Husband about it.  And this may or may not be what your FH thinks but this is what my Darling Husband told me.  He said that, “If I was that type of person, it wouldn’t be someone he would want to marry.”  I know it’s a bit harsh.  But honestly, guys think about things way differently than we do.  I know we obsess over details and details and I know you said the ring he chose was similar to the one you told him you loved… but think of it through a guy’s eyes.  He went into a store looking for a ring.  Every saies person is telling him what is popular and what cut to get and then what diamond to get and what grade in quality the diamond is… so that may have swayed him to choose the ring and diamond that he got.  He was probably in that store trying to remember what your “love” ring looks like.  He probably noticed the color of the band or the cut of the diamond.  Not that it was engraved or any of the stuff we know about.  (As a fellow bride, we have seen a ton of magazines with different e rings in there. We know that there are a thousand different things to make a e ring different.)  Guys, on the otherhand, haven’t even opened up a bridal magazine or saw the rings we see our friends have.  They probably go into a handful of jewerly stores (like maybe 5) and choose one.  How many times have we gone shopping to find a certain sweater, and go into 20 different stores to find it…. or not to find it. 

Just some insight.  Just my opinion but this is coming from someone who only told my Darling Husband what type of gold I wanted it and what 3 types of shapes I like.  I wasn’t that specific on what I wanted. 

Whatever you do decide, good luck. 

Post # 15
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Just to offset yrret107’s comment, if my guy got super upset that I didn’t love a ring he picked and upset at me he wouldn’t be the kind of guy I wanted to marry.  When you get a gift you hope the other person loves and fail because the other person doesn’t love it it is your failure.  Now the recipient should always be polite but to put the burden on them to lie and fake happiness and to require them to wear something 24/7 that they don’t like… ridiculous and selfish.  Not being able to pick the right ring is not a sigh of how well your Fiance knows you or loves or any of that ridiculous crap it just means he didn’t get lucky.  It happens. 

Post # 16
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was not trying to be mean but I was only letting the OP know other ways to think of how her Fiance could look at it.  I, by no means, was telling her this is what he thinks.

It’s just my opinion and you can take it with a grain of salt.  I like looking at things in different ways.

I know my Darling Husband saved a couple thousand dollars for my e ring and when he chose my ring, he thought it was for me.  He chose it for me. He chose it because he thought it was what I wanted.  He bought my ring and saw my name on it.  I guess I’m not picky about my ring and I loved it the moment I saw it.

A e ring is a big investment, not like a sweater that you can easily return.  Talk to the store and see if he will lose anythign for exchanging the rings.  I don’t want to talk money but maybe the ring you love was too expensive for him to afford.  Just a thought. 

 

To the OP- I’m not saying you should lie and “Fake” happiness. I admit that you have to be honest with him sometimes and it might hurt his feelings and it might not.  Maybe he will laugh it off and maybe he might tell you that he thought he got the wrong one and is happy you are getting the one that you like.

Once again this is just my opinion.  You asked for honesty and that was what I wanted to add. 

Plus, it does look like your Fiance really tried hard to get your ring.  It seems like it was a mistake that it wasn’t the one you wanted.  I’m not a jeweler but it sounds like this ring was custom made because he bought the band seperate from the diamond.  I don’t know how easy that is to exchange a band that was customized with it’s own band and diamond.  I have a feeling you will lose money because they will need to detach the diamond from the band to place it on the new band… and that’s if the band that you love can come as a band only.

Do you not like that band or the diamond? 

For me I would like to get all the information first before having the chance of hurting his feeelings.   That’s why I would go to the store and ask for what their exchange policy is.

🙂  I hope whatever you chose turns out ok.

 

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