(Closed) my engagement from HELL. VENT!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
11 posts
Newbee

First off, CONGRATS!

I am so sorry to hear that your family is giving you a hard time! I think that you need to tell them to worry about themselves and leave you alone! Remind them that it doesn’t matter what they think of your ring, THEY DO NOT HAVE TO WEAR IT. The size of a stone does not impact the strength of a relationship. 

My ring is a .51 and very similar to yours (potentially ring twins?!) and I have received a many comments and my ring being “cute”. I make sure to take these moments to clearly state how much I love my ring! I think these comments are usually made by people who do not know much about diamonds. My diamond is also a Canadian Diamond, which I think is fabulous! I would much rather have a clear, well cut diamond at a smaller size (although I believe .5 is plenty big, and ideal for everyday wear) than a larger stone that is off colour. 

Do you have any other pictures of your ring from the top? I would love to know if it is the same as mine!

Becks

 

Post # 33
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Your ring is completely stunning, and your family is completely rude.

Not much more to say, but HUGS.

Post # 34
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

im confised as to what kind of ring your mum would have wanted you to have?

the ring you have is a beaut, and still has a large carat size, you and your Fiance picked it out together and you are both happy with it right? you are the one wearing it and surely if your happy and hes happy – thats all that matters.

i know its an easy thing to say, obviously you want family to be just as happy for you as you guys are for yourselves but i just dont understand what type of ring you “should” have had?

Congratualtions on your engagement! i think your ring is stunning.

Post # 35
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sienna76:  She didn’t reply so I had to comment here. I went to an Italian/Greek/Portugese Catholic school in Ontario. Most of the kids there were first or second generation Canadian, but still held very tightly to their Italian heritage, as did their parents. One of my ex’s from high school had his dad disowned by the family (his dad was born in Canada) because his dad married a French-Canadian. It’s a bit nutty.

Anyways, many times there are no accents, and if there is, it’s just a “gained” accent that has some European touches… kinda like what you might hear in New York in the Italian communities. Many of my friends that had accents during high school completely lost them after high school.

Post # 36
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Yankee girl here didn’t even know Canada had diamonds- how cool is that? ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s perfect. Reading your story, I saw the picture, and thought “wow, that’s a really pretty ring. Is she having second thoughts about her fiance?” No negative thoughts even crossed my mind about your ring.

What “tradition” are you not following with your ring? Size? Your mom was a complete you-know-what (sorry to say)-way out of line. Maybe if you don’t wear it for a day or two, you’ll miss it, and realize how fantastic it is. 

The important thing is how you and Fiance like it. Not what your Mom, sister, or any other woman thinks. (Not even what us Bees think, even though we have your back!) You love it, and that’s all that matters. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 37
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Just wanted to say congrats!  ๐Ÿ™‚

I think that your ring is beautiful!  And I agree with all the other ladies too that your mom’s behavior is unacceptable. 

 

 

Post # 38
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Congrats on your engagement! I agree with the other ladies, your ring is gorgeous, it’s not about your mothers approve, it’s the joining of 2 ppl becoming one. She was way out of line!! 

Post # 39
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Shut it down. Seriously, tell your mother to get a grip. Your in love with someone who is in love with you, all I would ever want for my daughter is for her to be loved uncontrollably. A ring is just a bonus. Your mum needs to recognise the situation, I think she’s feeling pissed off that your moving on without her, making decisions without her, starting a life that belongs to you and Fiance.

My motto in life: Fuck a hater.

Even if it is your mum.

Post # 40
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Ps your ring is amaze balls !!!

Post # 41
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your ring is beautiful! I’m guessing your mom’s comments have less to do with the ring, and more to do with her emotions. Your family should be happy for you, rather than ruining a special time in your life by being very disrespectful to both you & your Fiance. I would say ignore them. They are acting like children! 

Post # 42
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow. How rude and disrespectful. There are lots of women out there with beautiful .5 rings!!! Have you seen this thread?

I’m sorry that happened to you!!

Post # 43
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

half a carat is a very decent sized ring where I Live- Im from Ireland and live in england and the definite standard here is to go quality over size- your flawless ring would be the source of much envy here-

 

anything much bigger than that would actually be contsidered gaudy where I’m from.

(and this is not a dig at big diamonds, this is just observation on general concenous of ring-critique where Im from ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 44
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee

I would pull the family together for a gathering, …and then have a meltdown of epic proportions on all of them. Maybe even tantrum-style, beating on the floor and screaming. Defend your fiance, defend your relationship, defend yourself, tell them they’re jerks and that their behavior to you is the opposite of family, the opposite of love. I think it should go on for hours, and when they try to speak, just get louder so you can’t hear them over your own voice. I am a sedate, southern girl, pinky out and ankles crossed, but in this case I would have a showdown so thoroughly awful that they would fear to cross me on that subject again.

Yes, you have a right to go off on these people. The fact that they’re your family hasn’t stopped them from being hateful, mean, and malicous. 

Your ring is lovely. And it’s lovely because it’s sweet, and tasteful, and elegant.

But what makes it truly lovely is that it was given to you in love, a symbol of a lifetime commitment – after choosing it with you, to be followed by a lifetime of choosing things together.

Your family needs a smackdown.

Post # 45
Member
10016 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@aliavenue:  Exactly. This.

Post # 46
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m sorry, but the size of the ring has no bearing on how committed, in love or supportive your Fiance is. It sounds like your mom equates money with happiness or security. 

My ring is modest. But we had all these financial goals and things that we want to do together, so spending a ton of money on a ring was not what we wanted to do. 

 

Your mom sounds like she’s off her rocker, but I’d just tell her that she is never to speak to you that way again, especially in front of people. Tell her to talk to you when she has something sensible to say. 

 

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