(Closed) my engagement from HELL. VENT!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 107
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m so sorry you have to go through something like that! It is truly none of their business and if they want to have a relationship with you in the future, they should realize they need to keep their opinions to themselves.

Your ring is absolutely gorgeous, so lovely and elegant. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

And CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is a wonderful time in your life and you should enjoy it and share it with those that are supportive of you and your future husband!

Post # 108
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your ring is cute! There is nothing wrong wth ANY size carat!! There is nothing with anY stone!!! There is nothing wrong with any metal!!!!

Tell them you refuse your relationship and partner to be abused like this and until they can check themselves they can get bent.

Post # 109
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your mother would really hate MY ring, then–there is no big diamond, just a dozen tiny diamonds and a heart-shaped sapphire, but I absolutely LOVE my ring, and I hope you learn to love yours again too. The good news is that your mother doesn’t have to love your ring just as long as YOU do. 🙂  I do think she owes your fiance an apology, though, and if I were in your situation, I would INSIST that she apologize. Your mother insulted a gift that your soon-to-be husband gave you from his heart, and that had to hurt his feelings something severe. Your mother should also realize that big displays of material wealth has nothing to do with what kind of husband he’ll be to you.  I mean, who cares if he gets you a massive diamond if he still treats you like garbage?  There’s a lot of men out there like that. As long as he treats you well, makes you happy, and can provide for you (and any children you might have), that should be all that your mother concerns herself with.

Post # 110
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

The easiest way to get past this is to not give a F$#@ – your mom and her sister obviously have issues, but how you feel about your ring should be how you feel about your ring. Ask yourself why you care so much about what they think and why it’s so important to you that they approve.

Post # 111
Member
5063 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Congratulations on your engagement!

Your ring is absolutely gorgeous. (I’m biased though as I’ve picked out a Canadian diamond)

Best of luck and I wish you tons of happiness with your Fiance

Post # 112
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

A FLAWLESS diamond?! You go girl!

My idea would be to keep it and tell them to fuck right off. If they don’t support your marriage they dont support you and they need to figure that our real damn quick, dont expect a call on christmas.

But…

If you are set on looking for a big white sapphire, I suggest helzburgs. They have a wonderful collection called sapphire esante, and that is where we bought mine with a lifetime garentee and warrent for $140

Post # 113
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Your family sounds like a terrible nightmare. I hate to say it, but maybe you don’t love the ring as much as you thought you did, because I know that I love my ring so much that regardless of what anybody has to say (literally) nothing could make me love it less.

Post # 114
Member
4858 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think they should be reminded that the ring is only a ring, and behind that you have a man that loves you dearly. Tell them that thier comments hurt, and his first reaction was to love you and comfort you. That should make them feel like complete dicks. FTR, you know you love that ring, it’s timeless and beautiful. 

Post # 115
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Tell your mom and your sister to shut up, and you should were your ring with PRIDE, your ring is gorgeous, so as mine, and it it 0.6 ct. Maybe bring a book about diamond to your family and explain to them it’s not the SIZE it is important, but the COLOR, CLARITY, AND CUT, and half size carat DIAMOND can cost much more and more value than a ROCK, ask them to do some reasearch before yell out. and also it is not the diamond that is important but the marriage is. 

Post # 116
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My mom did that when she heard we were considering moissanite instead of diamond. She went off about how obviously my Fiance didn’t really love me if he wasn’t getting me a diamond. Stupidest thing ever. I got the moissanite and just didn’t tell her, and she’s insanely jealous of my ring. It makes me laugh. I don’t plan on ever telling her. Sorry that I can’t help, but know you’re not alone! Being engaged sucks, but it’s worth it. 🙂

Post # 117
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@blueandcream:  

The ring is beautiful. Clearly they are negative and toxic people. Have they been like this your entire life, because if so, this shouldn’t surprise you then. I’d ignore them and see the ring for what it is, an expression of your guy’s love and devotion for you. 

Post # 118
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This has actually made ME mad because it reminds me of some comments I received before also, but I brushed them off. I thought it was bad enough that someone said anything like that at all. If my mom would’ve said that to me, I would’ve been beyond furious.

When some people ask “let me see your ring!” what follows sometimes is “how big is it?”

WHO CARES? It’s a ROCK. It’s literally just a rock. It’s expensive/valuable because we humans made it to be so. How does how big your ring is have to do with how your husband treats you or how much he loves you? I would hope (no offense) that your mom doesn’t like your fiance for some other reason, and not the ring, and is just using the ring thing as an excuse to put him down. Otherwise, I don’t see how she had the nerve to make you feel bad, embarrass you, cause such a stir and humiliate your fiance in a way you can’t really take back…

I would tell my mom off so bad I’d get an ulcer lol. 

 

Post # 119
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@blueandcream:  Oh, honey!  How awful!  First off, your ring is beautiful….honestly.  It looks lovely on your hand, and I’m not just saying that.  It is NOT too small, it’s beautiful and it’s yours, along with the wonderful man that comes along with it.  I’m finally old enough (34) that I can be offended with that toxic crap, feel those feelings, then realize that those kind of issues are their problem, not MINE.  I have a blue topaz, sapphire and diamond ring…non-traditional for sure.  Most people were very positive but there were a few tacky comments.  

I had a tendency to internalize the things that people say, especially if I love them.  It hurts worse, I’m sure, that they came from your mother and your aunt.  However, I’m sure after growing up with them, that those were not the first tactless and kind of mean statements that you’ve heard from them.  In this instance, maybe there’s some jealousy that the focus of the family is not on them?  Maybe they are sad that you’re growing up and going to be a wife and taking it out on you in a really mean way.  Whatever it is, rock that beautiful ring and enjoy this wonderful journey….and don’t let other’s petty crap ruin one more minute…and congrats on your engagement!! 

Post # 120
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

There is NOTHING wrong with a half carat! Especially one you and your fi made sure was ethically gained. Tell your mom to shove her ring and leave yours alone. What a horrible thing to do. I can’t believe that not only is your mother being so horribly, but your aunt is as well.

 

Don’t be emberrassed, and don’t back down. They are being absolutely BITCHY and you need to stand up for yourselves and put them in their place- no holds barred.

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