- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Okay, so this is the first board that I’ve ever posted on but I have something bugging me that I have to get off my chest. Also, I’m a horrible speller but I will do my best.
I want to start off by saying that my entire life I have shared most significant moments of my life with someone. My stepsister and i are the same age (4 months apart) and have shared everything. Graduations, school functions, plays, sports, University, etc. I also share my birthday with my grandfather and we used to have co-parties. No usually this doesn’t bother me as I’m not one for the spotlight and I prefer to sink into the background and just enjoy the moment. That being said my recent engagement changed all that. For once I got to be in the spotlight and willing share an experience with someone and it’s been wonderful.
My Fiance and I have been engaged for almost two months and it’s been awesome. We’ve had fun planning and sharing ideas and having an all around good time. His family loves me and my family loves him so it’s been awesome. It’s the first wedding in my family (for my generation) and he’s the first of two boys (who are both mamas boys) so it’s been a nice whirlwind of emotions all around.
That being said, we found out last night that his brother decided to propose to his girlfriend of a year and they’re planning a spring wedding, ours is in October.
Lets be honest, my first reaction wasn’t my best moment as I personally found it hard to swallow. This is for many reasons I will list them as paragraphing them would go on forever.
-he proposed to his gf 5 months ago and she said no she wasn’t ready. mainly because she had lied to her parents about how long they had been dating and such as she was still living with her ex while dating my soon to be brother in law (that’s their business not mine and a whole other story)
-three weeks ago he asked her to cosign on a loan and she didn’t want to incase they broke up. Good call on her behalf… I’m just confused on how you go from being afraid of breaking up with engaged within a few weeks time
-they haven’t ever had to budget, share expenses (he just pays for everything) or really have to do much around as they have someone who cleans, does groceries etc. for them
-my fiance and I (and a lot of his family) feel as though she is mooching off of him and he is too nice to realize it
-she’s a huge attention whore (this is just annoying in itself)
-and last but not least when I was showing my soon to be mother in law the dress I chose she had the balls to find a dress, try it one, stand beside me on the runway (while I’m standing there in my dress) and say “look how great I look”
Now I’m a very calm person who doesn’t let a lot of stuff get to her but I’m beyond words at this point. I know my future mother in law isn’t impressed with the engagement or her sons choice but she doesn’t want to say anything or she’s the bad guy. My fiance is beyond pissed. He ranted for about 2 hrs after we found out they were engaged and is really upset that they’ve highjacked our engagement. He’s especially upset as he went out of his way to propose to me after my girlfriends wedding (even though he had the ring for the majority of their engagement) and waited for a time after so they could have their time.
We found out they want a spring wedding and ours is in the fall and they’re planning a wedding before ours. I’m trying my best to bite my tounge as it’s not my place to say anything but I’m baffled and I need advice in a big way. I also would like to point out that I want people to put their lives on hold because of us… but not even two months after our engagement, in the same family? COME ON!
You ladies have any adive?
Also, sorry for the length and if anything is jumpy or out of order I’m typing this in a rant
Thank you for anything constructive you may have for me!