(Closed) my entire wedding was awful! very depressed.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry you’re so upset, but you are forgetting the best part of the day. You are MARRIED! Congrats! 

You’re upset because you didn’t stand your ground in the first place in having what you wanted, which is where your disappointment come froms.

Post # 4
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I want to thank you for sharing your story.  I have been doing what you did – giving in to other’s ideas and demands and forgetting my own.  I’ve been beginning to put my foot down but was super guilty about “being mean to others.”

I’m done with feeling guilty now.  I think your story is the extreme – what bridesmaid is EVER compensated for their services?  What parent EVER says that b/c it was your sister’s house, she runs the timeline?  But the idea is the same, please never compromise your own dreams for the sake of other’s.

Post # 5
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So sorry to hear that. ๐Ÿ™

IMO, it’s time to start planning a vow renewal with everything that the two of you want. Even if its a few years off, it’s something to look forward to, and you can incorporate even more memories since you’ll have time married together.

Post # 6
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think you need to:

– hire a GOOD photographer

– get your hair and make up done the way you wanted

– have bridal portraits taken with your husband, because frankly, he’s the only one who deserves to have photographic memories with you

– go on your honeymoon anyways

Post # 7
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@med700: I agree with all of this! Even if you can’t do a long honeymoon, go to a bed and breakfast and have a weekend that celebrates you and your new husband exactly the way you want to!

Post # 8
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago

I’m sorry you had such a terrible time, but it seems that you can’t stand up for yourself.  If the hairstylist was giving you dolly parton, why not tell her in the middle to stop and do what you want?  I feel bad that your wedding wasn’t what you wanted, and your famiy sounds horrible, but it sounds like it’s completely your fault for letting it all happen.  Like another bee said- you’re married!  And that’s the best part ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I read a blog of a bride who had a terrible first wedding also.  So she did a do over on their one year anniversary, just the way THEY wanted it and the rest be damned!  Her second wedding went off beautifully, they had all the things the wanted, did a vow renewel, went on a short honeymoon.  SHe said it was the best thing she had ever done and didn;t regret it for a minute.

My photographer is re-doing her wedding also as her husband is miolitary and was depolyed shortly after.  They had a “shotgun” style wedding that she had planned all by herself as he was on tour, and it wasn’t totally theirs.  She is now planning a beautiful destination wedding just as they want.

Yes, you are married and that’s the best part, but I don’t think there is a bride out there that wants to live her married life with the dark gloom of a disaster wedding over her head.  I say plan a vow renewel at your anniversary, and ivnite who you want.  Have it where you want, and do it FOR YOU and your hubby ONLY.  DOn’;t worry about pleasing your family. 

I would totally plan myself a one year renewel if my wedding was a disaster, just to make ME happy forever.  Nothing will take the taint of the first away, but it will help lessen the bitterness.

Post # 10
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Omg!  If I were you, I’d plan a one year vow renewal ceremony at the place you wanted to have your originial wedding at.  I would NOT give your mother and sister any power or position in the wedding, because they were just awful!

Post # 11
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am so sorry your wedding was ruined! My heart broke for you ust reading your story.

My suggestion would be for you and Darling Husband to take that honeymoon after all. Buy an expensive white dress and renew your vows on the beach and usually the hotels/resorts even have someone who can take pictures for you. This way you can have a beautiful intimate moment with your husband and remember your wedding like that instead.

Post # 12
48 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

My first wedding was VERY much like this!  My mom even picked my colors and date! It was terrible!  My family likes to put in their two cents and it makes me CRAZY!  This will be my second wedding and I have told them all to butt out and that this is MY wedding!  I agree with all the other Bees!  Get dressed up and take new pictures with your hubby!  Remember why you were getting married (your hubby NOT your family), and take a stand against the abuse of your family! 

Post # 13
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@brandsto:  Good heavens I am so sorry to hear all this. I would do what med700 and Pinksapphire said. RE-DO, get good hair/makeup and photos, vow-renewal and honeymoon. You deserve it and you will feel tons better. Hugs!

Post # 14
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Let’s pretend that this was just your trial run. A rehearsal if you will. This was just a wedding nightmare. Your wedding is still a ways off. Do over!!!

Post # 15
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i think you need to do a renewal as well. no bridesmaids, just you and hubby and closest family and friends. I had one and it was seriously the best thing ive ever done in my life….. if thats out of the question…. do as med700 said and just get some bridal portraits made of just you and hubby. try to focus on the fact that you guys are married and you CAN have a weddingrenewal of your dreams ๐Ÿ™‚ *HUGS* keep your head up!

Post # 16
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I 100% agree with the others on this board.

Take a honeymoon, even if it’s just a weekend getaway. You and your new husband need to have some time away from the family and their drama to just enjoy being together and being married.

Then, after you get back from your romantic get-away – start planning a re-do! It doesn’t have to be an expensive all-out party, but plan a do-over – whether it’s a few weeks from now or on one of your early anniversaries. If you don’t want to involve your family, then just get some of your close friends together and do it over a weekend where you can have a wedding you love and celebrate with people who will celebrate with you.

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