(Closed) My EX bought me a very expensive gift

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

How do you even know how much he makes still? It seems like you guys must be in somewhat regular contact? I know approximatley how much my ex made when we were dating, but I have zero clue what he makes now! The ex could have gotten a new job? A raise at his current one? Won the lottery for all we know, and you should have no idea about this really if the bird text really was out of the blue? 

The initial problem came when you answered the text, but you are so far past that at this point, I would just stop thinking about it, and block his number.

Post # 47
Member
721 posts
Busy bee

Man I feel bad for this guy. Sounds like you took advantage of him, and will probably continue to, should he reach out again in the future. You absolutely could have said no. I hope you block this guy, but you’re probably already waiting on your next expensive gift… 

Post # 48
Member
721 posts
Busy bee

And I know I probably shouldn’t have done it but I’d probably do it again. 

Ah, called it. 

Post # 49
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

OP……have some integrity.  Its clear he’s an unstable person and he obviously needs professional help.  You don’t need to add to that.   Like you said earlier, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

Post # 50
Member
4493 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can’t be the only one who thinks it says a lot about your Fiance that he’s totally cool with you accepting a not only expensive but very emotionally meaningful gift from an ex you know wants you back. I can’t fathom my husband ever being ok with that. 

Post # 51
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

View original reply
@happyjuju:  Yea.  I’m with you.  Totally dead. 

Post # 52
Member
1743 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

He’s probably bored and lonely and hoping to maintain a connection to you. Now you “owe” him, in his mind. Could also be fin dom.

You’re still pissed off about how he was in the relationship and see this bird as your payback.

An unhealthy relationship either way. You’re not doing any favors as his only “friend”.

Beautiful bird!!

Post # 53
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

There are better engagement gifts.  

Post # 54
Member
5464 posts
Bee Keeper

You’re very motivated/impressed with money, the $70k ring, your father giving you a down-payment for a house, etc. No shade, I know a lot of people like that. But let’s be real; you knew your ex would do something like this, that’s why you suggested the bird in the first place. And you were secretly delighted that he would spend that amount of money on you.

Know yourself OP. Be honest with yourself and be aware of your weakness in this area.

Post # 56
Member
3185 posts
Sugar bee

I was really hoping this was a joke, but after reading all the updates it sounds like you’re just incredibly selfish and use people. Maybe you should look into why you do that? Do a little introspection?

Post # 57
Member
2290 posts
Buzzing bee

I have no advice. its all already been covered. I’m just dying that you used the term that you sent him on a “fae errand” basically and you’re some type of exotic bird collector. My mind is just shooting to some type of ACOTAR fandom right now lol.

Post # 58
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

People are already giving you a hard enough time so I’m not going to pile on

What’s done is done, just thank him for the engagement gift then block him. His not being able to make friends isn’t your issue

Can you post the pics of the rest of your birds? This current one is beautiful

Post # 59
Member
14149 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Nothing good can come from taking advantage of an ex, with financial and personal issues, who is still interested in you. It was doing no one any favors to maintain the relationship out of pity, wrong to accept such a lavish gift, and also wrong to block the guy immediately after getting what you wanted from him. As terrible as the relationship was, and he was to you, it’s no excuse.  

Personally, I would try to return the bird to the breeder or sell to a good home, tell the ex you were wrong to accept, then cut contact with him. 

Post # 60
Member
3833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

ESH…

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