(Closed) My (ex) boyfriend is giving me a chance to get back together, what should i do?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I move in or not?

    Yes, follow your heart

    No, listen to your parents

  • Post # 2
    Member
    2227 posts
    Buzzing bee

    RUN.

    R-U-N.

     

    Post # 3
    Member
    2180 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    snugglepuggle94 :  Well I got him to talk last night and he’s giving me a deal- I need to show him proof of a job offer near him BEFORE he finds someone else to date, and if I do he will drop everything to be with me, including moving in together.

    What the fuck did I just read? 

    This man has issues he needs to deal with. You really think people who care about you would make you audition for the role? After dumping you? Scrape up what’s left of your dignity off the floor, run far and run fast.

    Post # 4
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    No way, no how. Tell him you don’t make deals like this. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee

    Wait–he hit you in the face and you are thinking of getting back with him? Or did you hit him?  either way, you two definitely do not belong together.  Abuse is NEVER OK.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It sounds like there are two separate issues here, your ex and your parents. My first thought is that love should be given unconditionally. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who values me so little that he expects me to race to meet his terms and conditions “before he finds someone else to date.” Think about what he’s telling you there.

    The second issue is about whether or not to make decisions that meet your religious parents’ approval. It sounds like you don’t hold the same values as your parents and will have to find a way to let them know that at some point.

    ETA: OMG, I read this as the “slap to the face” was metaphorical, and the baggage/abuse came from your bf’s family. If this man has hit you or abused you, that is NOT OKAY. That is a 100% dealbreaker.

    Post # 7
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Nope. Nope nope nope.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1050 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    snugglepuggle94 :  

    my boyfriend of two years broke up with my last week due to circumstances of abuse and thinking that I couldn’t live with him and his baggage.

    1. Any kind of abuse in a relationship in unacceptable. I don’t know who was doing the abusing, but it’s unhealthy and obviously a huge red flag.

    2. Your boyfriend should deal with his own baggage. It’s not your place or responsibility.

    Sometimes it takes a break for people to realize that they need to improve themselves before they can move on in a relationship, and a break up doesn’t necessarily mean two people aren’t meant for each other.

    3. While this may be true in some situations, one week is certainly not enough time to improve upon yourself and move further into a relationship.

    Your parents are right. Move on… without him.

     

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    13949 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Nope, run far and fast from him.

    No relationship should be built on “he’s giving me a deal.”  It should be that he can’t live without you, and you can’t live without him.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Ew this guy?! Wtf. I only wish you got a do-over so you could dump him. But no matter, better this way, DO NOT GO NEAR. This ticking bomb “before he finds someone new” is honestly the grossest thing I’ve heard in quite some time. What a class A idiot.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

    Oh honey. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    This guy sounds like an ass. Do NOT get back together with him! This isn’t even about your parents, this does not sound like a man anyone should be with. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    arosebyanyothername :  I was curious too? Or is she saying her ex was abused as a child and has baggage and the news of his unhappiness in the relationship was like “a slap in the face” as in shocking? Either way, it doesn’t change my stance. He’s not worth it. His hurry up and get her before I move on “deal” is a shitty one. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1963 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

    The topic ‘My (ex) boyfriend is giving me a chance to get back together, what should i do?’ is closed to new replies.

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