Post # 1
My ex-boyfriend chose his ex-girlfriend over me. Four months ago, I saw an innapropiate text he sent to his ex where he jokingly told her he would like one kiss of hers. She had asked him if he was okay and if he needed anything since he had just have a car crash and that’s when he said he needed one kiss of her. I was extremely indignant and hurt and broke up with him. He begged me to take him back for weeks non-stop, but I told him off all the time. One day I just couldn’t be without him anymore so I told him I was willing to move past it and give it another try as long as he always gave me the respect I deserve. I was very confused when he told me he wasn’t sure if getting back together was a good idea at all. It was very odd he changed his mind all of the sudden about getting back together when he had been pestering me for a second chance just a day ago so I became very suspicious. I asked his if his abrupt change of mind had anything to do with his ex and he said no. I needed to trust my gut and I messaged this girl and outright asked her if he had expressed any desire to get back with her. It turned out he had been trying to get back with her for the past days when we were already broken up, but kept begging me to take him back. The girl asked him to chose between me and her and he chose her. He told me he didn’t have any control over whom his heart loved and tried to love me, but he just simply couldn’t. I was devastated. I felt like someone stabbed me right in the chest. He had strung me along for months, lying repeatedly about loving me and wanting a future with me. I knew I was wrong, but I honestly wished him ill at the moment. It turned out the ex had deceived him into believing she still had feelings for her so he would leave me and end up alone. I don’t understand why she would bother to wreak havoc on his life, but I know the one who is at fault here is my ex because he shouldn’t have let her to play games with him when he was in a very loving and caring relationship with me. As expected, he came crawling back to me with pleas for a second chance, but I turned him down. It’s been four months since we broke up and I still love him very much just like in the beginning. Our relationship was very complicated and long. We had been in an on and off relationship for 6 years. During those 6 years, I have to admit I wasn’t the perfect girlfriend for him. I didn’t treat him right many times and I was always the one who broke things off with him because of my insecurities. This last time we were together, I thought everything had finally turned to our favor and we would never be torn apart. He had always loved me in the past and had been the one who hold on to me and sought a way to reconnect so when this happened I was dismayed and shocked. It just didn’t make sense someone who had always been heels over me since we were in junior high and would refuse to move on from me every time I broke up with him would choose someone who he only dated for six months over me. He says he wants me back and regrets his choice every day, but I don’t know what to believe. He even has told me he is willing to wait a long time for me until I am ready to be with him again and would prove to me he is deserving of a second chance if I only let him into my life again. Is it possible he really made a mistake and has come to realization i am the one he wants to be with or he is only back because the other girl doesn’t want to be with him?
Post # 2
Hell no. Just NO. This loser is afraid of being alone, and he likes the thrill and ego boost of having 2 women.
You should have never taken him back in the first place.
Post # 3
He just doesn’t want to be alone. If you take him back he knows what you’ll put up, even if you say you won’t. Actions are better than words to tell you who he is. There is so much better out there.
Post # 4
What you need in your life is a healthy dose of self-respect and some therapy, not this guy.
Post # 5
I think you need to log off this site for the night then re-read your OP tomorrow. Then answer your own question. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure that taking him back would be a mistake of colossal proportions.
Knowing what you know about this loser, if you take him back you will have no one to blame but yourself when, not if, he hurts you again.
Post # 6
OP, you know what you NEED to do. But are you going to ignore that (like you did when you “couldn’t be without him”) and do what you WANT to do? The choice is yours.
Just know that if you go back, you will be back in a few weeks if you’re lucky or a few years if you’re not. Do you really have that much time, energy, emotional well-being to waste on someone who will never respect you? Could you use this time to either grow by yourself and/or be with something who KNOWS he loves you insteas of treating you like a placeholder until he has the person he really wants say yes? Again, the choice is yours.
Post # 7
so true. I couldn’t even finish reading OP bc it was just too much! I wish OP would put herself in the shoes of a stranger or a friend reading this. What would she advise her?
Post # 8
You both have issues. No to this relationship. No to any new relationship until you can gain emotional independence and learn more about healthy relationship boundaries and expectations. Therapy would be a very good idea. Too much drama.
Post # 9
OP I had to stop reading about half way through. All this back and forth stuff sounds like this relationship is still back in junior high where it started. He made his choice and I don’t mean this harsh but you both sound like you’re afraid of being alone. It’s run it’s course and sometimes fixing things and the temporary high it brings is addicting and a huge rush but it’s not worth it. You can do so much better than this guy.
Post # 10
Do not go back! He clearly cannot be alone and knows he can manipulate you. You sound very young so you have your whole life ahead of you. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t care for you happiness and doesn’t respect you?
“Our relationship was very complicated”
Also, relationships are not supposed to be complicated! Love is easy with the right person.
Post # 11
By all means take him back of you want to go through this inappropriate messaging and back and forth with another girl again. If that doesnt sound appealing then I’d stop talking to him permanently. Word to the wise: it’s foolish to “love” someone who treats you like this. Save your love for someone who actually deserves it. You problem is that you just don’t want to be alone, but learning how to be alone is actually a skill that will help you find someone who is a better fit for you.
Post # 12
YOU broke up with HIM. Granted, it was for good reason, but if you’re desperate not to lose someone, don’t send them packing. Regardless, he’s a cheating loser. You broke up with him multiple times for a reason. Drop him, drop the drama; find someone you won’t feel the need to leave repeatedly.
Post # 13
Yeah, hop in a car and speed off at 100 mph from that dumpster fire. What a selfish person he is. There are better people out there OP.
Post # 14
He’s a loser and he’s probably super goofy looking. Do not take him back under any circumstance.
Post # 15
Please don’t get back with him! He does not sound committed in the slightest. Sorry you’re going through this. If you were happy with him and he’s not the one, imagine how truly happy you’ll feel when you’re with the right guy for you. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t treat you right.