Post # 1
my ex and I talked in person yesterday.We had a nice and calm conversation about how I was acting in our relationship. He made me really open my eyes and see how I was being manipulative. It was hard for me to see that I was being like that because I grew up with my mom manipulating me and I still live with my parents. I don’t want to be manipulative person. I am starting to go to therapy but I want to work on things on my own that’s what I would like some advice for. My ex and I are working on things individually and then coming back together for relationship counseling in a few months because we have things to work on together. I really want some advice how to live with my parents and not act how my mom acts. My mom always wants people to do things for her and to make people feel guilty on how they act if it’s not how she wants it to be. I have said things to my boyfriend that I regret and it was how my mom was acting but I really want to put a stop to it.
Post # 2
Sounds like you are on the right track with therapy. It also sounds like you need to – must – move out.
Post # 3
my mom doesn’t think she is manipulative person my aunt and grandma are the exact same way. Do I have to tell her that’s the reason why I’m moving out?
Post # 4
After all the realizations you made about how he was the controlling one you’ve gone back to being manipulated yourself. I agree that you need therapy and someone to help you see things clearly, but I hope you step back and realize this is not a healthy relationship.
Post # 5
You’ve had lots of advice before. Realistically, your Boyfriend or Best Friend is at least as manipulative (and controlling) as you are, if not more. Overall, it is a very immature and unhealthy relationship that I don’t think you should be working so hard to get back.
Post # 6
I think it is good you broke up with him… Hopefully your therapist will help you see who in your life is REALLY trying to manipulate you.
Post # 7
most of my friends tell me he is the one in the wrong. But then when I talked to him yesterday he made me feel like I really was. He said one of our mutual friends and his councilor doesn’t blame him for breaking up with me. So it just made me feel like I was really in the wrong when he said that.
Post # 8
The things he thinks that are manipulative is when I said I thought you cared about me and do you hate me now. And by him telling him how I feel and he thinks I’m making him feel guilty on purpose.
Post # 9
If he’s your ex, you need to stop talking to him. Look through your old posts. He’s a jerk. He’s just manipulating you to think that things are your fault.
Post # 10
He is gaslighting you. Move on and get therapy to help you gain confidence and learn to recognize when you are being manipulated/played. Don’t let him suck you back in!
Post # 11
How old are you? Why do you think you owe your parents an explanation as to why you are moving out? I assume you are an adult. Just say “I found a place to live, I’m moving out on x. I’m ready to be out on my own.”
Post # 12
You won’t be able to see any progress from your therapy sessions unless you quit all communication with him for (at least) six months. If you decide to work things on your own (no therapy, which I strongly advice against this) then it becomes even more vital that you go full non-contact.
You see, in order to truly understand your relationship’s dynamics you need to step back and out from it. You need to experience what not hanging with him feels like and how it differs from being with him. How do you feel when it comes to decisions? What happens to your self-esteem? Does your self-confidence boosts? Etc.
You should also consider moving out from home (if you are 18+) even if it is just for a short time, so you can self discover who you are away from your mother.
Post # 13
Is this the same partner who fell out with you because you bought a used car that you wanted?
Oh Bee.. I’m starting to buzz!!! I really, really hope you stuck up for yourself and didn’t allow yourself to be manipulated into taking complete responsibility because “his counsellor and mutual friend” said so. Did he even take any responsibility?
Post # 14
Is this the same mother that kindly co signed your loan so you could get a car and your boyfriend then had a tantrum because you didn’t buy the shitty car he wanted you to have?
Yeah, your ex boyfriend is a piece of shit and you REALLY need to stay broken up. If anyone is manipulating anyone it’s him and your parents probably don’t like him because they can see through all his bullshit. That doesn’t make it their fault, it makes them good parents.