(Closed) my ex boyfriend made me realize things.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3441 posts
Sugar bee

Sounds like you are on the right track with therapy. It also sounds like you need to – must – move out.

Post # 4
Member
3945 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 After all the realizations you made about how he was the controlling one you’ve gone back to being manipulated yourself.  I agree that you need therapy and someone to help you see things clearly, but I hope you step back and realize this is not a healthy relationship. 

Post # 5
Member
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

You’ve had lots of advice before. Realistically, your Boyfriend or Best Friend is at least as manipulative (and controlling) as you are, if not more. Overall, it is a very immature and unhealthy relationship that I don’t think you should be working so hard to get back.

Post # 6
Member
840 posts
Busy bee

I think it is good you broke up with him… Hopefully your therapist will help you see who in your life is REALLY trying to manipulate you.

Post # 9
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

If he’s your ex, you need to stop talking to him. Look through your old posts. He’s a jerk. He’s just manipulating you to think that things are your fault. 

Post # 10
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 1995

He is gaslighting you. Move on and get therapy to help you gain confidence and learn to recognize when you are being manipulated/played. Don’t let him suck you back in!

Post # 11
Member
3441 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
hockeygirl715 :  How old are you? Why do you think you owe your parents an explanation as to why you are moving out? I assume you are an adult. Just say “I found a place to live, I’m moving out on x. I’m ready to be out on my own.” 

Post # 12
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

You won’t be able to see any progress from your therapy sessions unless you quit all communication with him for (at least) six months. If you decide to work things on your own (no therapy, which I strongly advice against this) then it becomes even more vital that you go full non-contact.

You see, in order to truly understand your relationship’s dynamics you need to step back and out from it. You need to experience what not hanging with him feels like and how it differs from being with him. How do you feel when it comes to decisions? What happens to your self-esteem? Does your self-confidence boosts? Etc.

You should also consider moving out from home (if you are 18+) even if it is just for a short time, so you can self discover who you are away from your mother.

Post # 13
Member
23 posts
Newbee

Is this the same partner who fell out with you because you bought a used car that you wanted?

Oh Bee.. I’m starting to buzz!!! I really, really hope you stuck up for yourself and didn’t allow yourself to be manipulated into taking complete responsibility because “his counsellor and mutual friend” said so. Did he even take any responsibility? 

Post # 14
Member
1859 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Is this the same mother that kindly co signed your loan so you could get a car and your boyfriend then had a tantrum because you didn’t buy the shitty car he wanted you to have? 

Yeah, your ex boyfriend is a piece of shit and you REALLY need to stay broken up. If anyone is manipulating anyone it’s him and your parents probably don’t like him because they can see through all his bullshit. That doesn’t make it their fault, it makes them good parents. 

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