- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hi Bees…I desperately need some advice/opinions..
I parted ways with my ex-fiance about 8 months ago. We dated for over 5 years, he was my only love and everything and i have been dealing with this new life without him everyday. To this day I know we had differences and things werent right, but i always missed him and always still felt this love for him. I have cried over my loss most days of every month and earlier this week I was an absolute mess again for no reason.
Two days ago, while at work, i got a call from my ex and I let it go straight to voicemail. I was so shocked to even see his phone number light up on my phone. I listened to my voicemail and basically it was him telling me that he’s sorry to call out of the blue, but wanted to let me know that he was having a minor but possibly complicated surgery that night and God forbid anything happened, he wanted to let me know that he still loves me and always will. I wrote him a nice letter 2 months after we broke up, telling him I’d always be there for him and such, and on the voicemail he said he wanted to write me back but just couldn’t find the words since he was in such a bad place at that time.
I didnt know what to do..so i texted him back saying I coudn’t call him bc i was working, wished him well on his surgery and that I’d call him wed to see how he was.
I did call him, he’s doing ok, and we talked for over an hour. It felt like old times again, and he told me that I was on his mind everyday since we broke up. He told me that no matter what happened I always have a special place in his heart. I told him the same. He asked if I would like to get together and grab some coffee or dinner, and I told him yes..were meeting tomorrow night.
I didnt tell anyone except a couple close co-workers but not my family…im sure my sister (who has been my support this whole breakup) would be furious that I was even talking to him (my family doesn’t exactly like my ex anymore). Im choosing to keep this mostly to myself and meet him by my own will…when we broke up everyone had something to say and this time I want to make my own decisions. I have all these mixed feelings and emotions inside and I know i might be playing with fire right now…I’m not expecting to go back with him or anything, i just really want to catch up and see him..i truly miss him and it almost feels like when we were dating (tho i know its very different now).
I guess I just dont know what to expect. I know some people say that when you let something go, if it comes back to you then you know how they truely feel. I know I’m a stronger person now and Ive even been on dates with other guys but i guess i’m just nervous that I might have all these feelings again for him. I know we broke up for a reason, and i’m not at all forgeting why we parted. At the end of the day no matter what I at least want to maintain a friendly relationship with him….i hope i’m making sense, i have so much going on in my head right now…any thoughts?