(Closed) My ex gave my custom ring to his new fiance. Should I tell her?

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Should I tell her?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 151
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    Sure, go ahead…if you want to look like a complete psycho who’s still obsessed with her ex.  You realize that he’ll just tell her it’s not true, and she’ll probably believe him since she’s in love with him, right? So you may not even inflict the hurt you want to because she’ll just brush it off as his psycho ex trying to meddle with their relationship.  I know it sucks (I’m divorced and I too got screwed in the end of the relationship) but the best revenge is doing well for yourself and not appearing like anything affects you.

    Post # 152
    Member
    379 posts
    Helper bee

    Who wants a “used” engagement ring? Tell her. You owe it to her to be sure she knows the truth about this clown.

    Post # 153
    Member
    2144 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    jm22 :  I agree with you. She’s not going to believe orginal posters story anyway when he sweet talks the new girl. She is going to believe him. And you do look like a pyscho if you do tell her. THere is nothing to gain here.

     

    Post # 154
    Member
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    View original reply
    ceemille1001 :  Just checking in! So what did you end up doing?

    Post # 155
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

    If he’s an ex block him off all social media and leave it alone. He had the ring he could do with it whatever he wanted he chose to give it to someone else.

    Post # 156
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee

    He’ll just say you’re a “crazy jealous ex that’s still in love with him.” 

    Post # 157
    Member
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    My ex-husband did that with me.  Don’t worry she will find out.  When we got engaged he got me a ring that was not my style.  My best friend and I took it to the jewelry store he bought it from without his knowledge to see what it would take to exchange it.  Just “in case” I worked up the nerve to tell him I hated the ring he bought me.  When the clerk let it slip when the ring was bought I realized I wasn’t even in the picture at the time.  I almost passed out.  I was pissed.  I should have known we were doomed then lol.  What’s done in the dark must come to light.  I wouldn’t say anything, just trust that things work out the way they should.

    Post # 158
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Leave it alone. Although you have valid reasons, you’ll look like a scorned ex. Also, you need to take responsibility for adding him as an authorized user to your account(s). An authorized user should have the decency to pay for their debt but they are not legally responsible. This is why you should not have added him to your account.

    I hate this happened to you… But let it go and learn from your mistakes. He didn’t make you give him money, credit, etc. You could have said no.

    I think it is petty if an ex warns the new mate… Perhaps his new fiancé isn’t naive, therefore, he respects/provides for her. He is no longer your issue. Move on and be grateful you don’t have to deal with him.

    On a different note, how do you know they have a baby? It sounds like you are way too involved in his new life. IMO

    Post # 159
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    View original reply
    ceemille1001 :  I haven’t read through all the responses but to answer your question: yes, I would tell her what a douche he is, and maybe slide in a comment about the ring as well (to back up your claims about him) so she knows there is at least some truth to what you are saying. But be careful about not coming across as jealous or someone trying to ruin anything between them, cause that will probably be her first reaction. Ultimately she decides what she does with the information you give her, but I definitely wouldn’t keep quiet after what he did to you! 

    Post # 160
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    Do you have any photos of you with the ring? I would want someone to tell me if my Fiance gave me someone else’s ring. It’s an insult to you and an insult to her. 

    Post # 161
    Member
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    ehh, i voted no. But part of me wanted to vote yes. I think if i recieved an ex’s engagement ring id be pretty pissed TBH. And if someone knew about it and told me, yes i would be mad at them for trying to ruin my enjoyment. But in the long run it would probably open up my eyes a little to who the guy really is and if i wanted a legal and financial commitment to the guy. 

    i dont know, if your doing it solely out of anger to piss him and her off, i would say just let her find out the hard way. But if your truly concerned that he is a legit psycho, manipulator and just trying to help the girl out, maybe you could find a general friend of thiers to break the news to her instead of you, or at least hint to the idea about the ring shadiness. 

    i voted no, simply because you would be opening a can of worms for both of them to come at you if she decides she doesnt care about his lies. 

    Post # 162
    Member
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I realize this is an old post and wonder what happened in the end. 

     

    FWIW I think if it were me in her shoes I would hope that the ex gf would be more concerned with stopping him from hurting more people than how she may look like. Yes maybe you would look like a psycho etc, or maybe you would save that poor woman from going through what you went through. I think helping others is worth the risk of looking like a jealous ex.

    Post # 163
    Member
    1751 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I had pretty much the same issue years ago. Broke up with my crazy fiancé and gave the ring back (should have kept it with all the money he owed me!). He gave it to his fiancé 4 years later. They got married in the exact same wedding I had planned (right down to the invitations, songs, readings, etc). I only know because we had mutual friends who went to his wedding – I don’t stalk him! 

    Years later I hear he cheated on his wife, left her, is now out living in BC, and his new fiancé could be my twin. So I go look them up on Facebook – and yup – she’s my twin! Same hair, same glasses, same profession… Weird. And what’s on her hand? My old ring! That sucker is old! And it’s not even worth that much – back when I was 22, $500 was a lot of money, but he could afford something much nicer now. What a cheap scape! Well, she broke up her marriage for him, and he broke up his marriage for her, so I hope they stay together. I only know this because one of my good friends is friends with his ex wife – and I heard how she’s now got MS, and is in a wheelchair – but my asshole ex won’t even give her any money. Thank God I got out of there when I did. I have such a great husband and family now – no looking back! 

    I think the OP should just leave it alone. Let the new girl find out what an ass her ex boyfriend is. I’m sure it won’t take long before he shows his true colours. 

    Post # 164
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Leave it alone and move on

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