(Closed) My ex gave my custom ring to his new fiance. Should I tell her?

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Should I tell her?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 107
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee

    Not everyone likes blissful ignorance. The baby is all the more reason to know.
    I really hope you can be objective, because the ring is a trivial matter compared to the other grievances.
    Whatever you say though should be a caution, not accusation. Maybe he has changed.

    Post # 108
    Member
    6610 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    suzymuffin25:  it stopped being her ring when they stopped being engaged and it stopped being her business when they broke up.

    Post # 109
    Member
    6610 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    ceemille1001:  op seriously why are you even anywhere near this situation? Who cares what ring your ex gives his girlfriend or where he says it comes from? You’re just borrowing other people’s problems. Stop worrying about their relationship. It doesn’t affect you.

    Post # 111
    Member
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    OP, I previously voted YES, but after seeing your update that they now have a 3 month old baby together, I changed my mind and am voting NO you shouldn’t tell her. Having a newborn baby is stressful and tiring in itself, so you might as well not add to that stress. What if she has postnatal depression and you telling her would make her spiral downwards? Now that the baby’s in the picture, her getting married to him is a sunk cost and despite all the financial burden he’s put on you I’m sure she would still be with him because of the baby. You can only hope that you ex will become a better and more responsible person now that he’s a father. 

    Post # 112
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee

    What’s it to you? Get on with your life and let them get on with theirs. The ring isn’t any of your business any more 

    Post # 113
    Member
    7575 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    So if they have a child why didn’t you air your concerns before?  Sorry this has nothing to do with saving another female from this so called evil man but everything to do with you and your feelings. You are pissed about the ring and feel justified in ruining another womans happiness. 

    Sorry but with every post there is more and more embellishment and to me that just screams crazy ex.

     

    Post # 114
    Member
    7440 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Your updates do not help your cause OP, only highten concerns about your true intentions. If you cared about this other woman you would have mentioned the child first , then the financial strain he put you through and lastly the ring. You don’t care about protecting her interests. You care about tearing others down to make yourself feel better. For your own sanity stop stalking them on facebook and move on with your own life

    Post # 115
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

    No. My ex left me for another woman (who he was cheating on me with) and asked for the ring I had back to give it to her (before we were even divorced), a ring his grandmother gave me personally and told me never to part with. I gave it to him, and she probably has no idea. I never told her and I saw no reason to. Their relationship was none of my business (well, other than the fact that I was still his wife lol). I could have told her *so* much that probably would have speeded up the breakup, but I never did. I wanted that relationship to have nothing to do with me. In the end, he’s cheating on her and probably heading down to divorce soon too, if not already. I know from word of mouth, so I don’t get updated and I don’t stalk him so wouldn’t be sure.

    Post # 116
    Member
    586 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019

    Nothing can be accomplished by this other than inflicting pain.  That ring is not yours–it’s his to give to whoever he wants.  You sound vindictive and I’ve waited for all the “updates” because I just know the craziness will show and it did.

    If you had just been honest to begin with I might have more respect.  But using the child as a reason? Wth.. That’s below you.  Shame. 

    Post # 117
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

    View original reply
    ceemille1001:  The same way you were “too in love” so will she. Same thing happened to me, no matter WHAT you say or HOW you say it unless she can see it by herself, for herself, nothing anyone can do will change it. My ex cheated for 5 years, I caught him plenty and never left him. Hell, he left ME for another woman and only THEN did I finally open my eyes to his idiotic emotionally abusive self. I was 16 when I met him, so that didn’t help much. But really, warning her won’t help, at all 

    Post # 118
    Member
    2747 posts
    Sugar bee

    Your updates aren’t doing you any favor.  He’s moved on, I suggest you do the same.  You are starting come acrossed as obsessed.  Let. It. Go.

    Post # 119
    Member
    9754 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Seems like you’re bent on revenge. Not saying thats wrong because we’ve all felt that way at some point but you really need to move past it and get on with your life.

    Post # 120
    Member
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    ceemille1001:  Wow is your ex my ex? lol jk. I asked myself similar things about my ex. But lets say you do show her, even with proof it did belong to you if he is the con you say he is (Like my ex was) he will find whatever way to paint you as crazy and himself as the victim. And she will believe him, at least until more and more things start adding up. And she will have to accept what he is. Or there is the very very miniscule possibilty that he really does love her, and he has changed, and yes it is a recycled ring but to some people jewelry is jewelry and it probably didn’t make sense to try to sell it and lose a bunch of money on it. 

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