(Closed) My ex husbands neice has invited herself to our wedding….

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think if you see her more than anyone else that you are related to it wouldn’t be a big deal…she sounds so happy for you! 

 

Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just tell her that you’re really touched that she wants to join you for the wedding, but it’s a very small, intimate ceremony. If she pushes it, gently tell her that no nieces or nephews are being invited. Be sure to make plans to do something with her soon.

I think it’s 100% normal to invite your ex’s family to events, including weddings, as long as you’re on good terms. After my aunt divorced my uncle, his family (parents & siblings) continued to come to our family gatherings – even on family trips! It’s only strange if there’s tension or bad blood. 

Post # 5
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with MidwestBride.  It’s only weird if there’s bad blood.

A couple of years ago, I went to a wedding and ended up sitting at a table with the groom’s ex-wife’s sister and her husband.  I thought it was a little weird when I found out the relationship, but they were really cool, and they told us the whole story about how her sister was psychotic, and she fully supported the groom leaving her crazy and drug-addled sister.  About a year later, both my friend and the ex-wife’s sister ended up getting pregnant at the same time, and I got to see all the photos posted all over Facebook of the two of them showing off their baby bumps and getting ready!  They’re great friends now.  It’s only weird if the ex-family and new family don’t get along.

That being said, do find a way to tell her gently that she’s not invited if you just don’t want her there because of how intimate the wedding is.  It’s rude to invite yourself to a wedding regardless of your relationship with the couple.

Post # 7
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

If you are that close to the couple, I don’t think it’s rude to assume you are invited to the wedding. I already looked for flights to a close friend’s wedding before the Save-The-Date Cards even went out. If you discuss a wedding and date, details, etc. with someone, they can only assume you are inviting them. In this case, Ic an see how it would be weird to invite her when your own family is not coming but if she is more of a friend, categorize her as that and invite her like other friends.

Post # 8
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’d explain to her that you love her and consider her your niece, but that’s why you cant invite her. You’re not inviting any of your other nieces or nephews. To invite her would cause animosity.

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