- 9 years ago
I’m soul searching a little on here, I’m hoping somebody out there can help heal my pain.
when I was 20, I met the most amazing guy. We fell deeply in love. He was extraordinarily handsome and sweet, kind and romantic. He was Spanish, living in the UK and ten years older than me. We were forced to split at the height of our love as he needed to move for his job. One morning he woke up an told me that I had to leave, because he had to force himself to move. We were both unbelieveably heartbroken at the situation, but it had hung over us that one day it would need to be done.
Before he left, we met up one last time and it was the most perfect day. I’ve never felt so in love. We walked to the train station and kissed for the last time. We said ‘I love you’ through the glass of the departing train and I never saw him again.
We kept in brief email contact and, three years and one boyfriend later, I met my partner, who is now father to my beautiful daughter and we’re trying for another. The day of our first date, my Ex called me out of the blue. I didn’t even know he had my mumber and emails between us had become sparse, even though I still felI i still loved him deeply. I was so shocked to hear that he lived about 20 mins from me by bus, but I didn’t want to hurt my current partner, so I declined to meet with him. I really regret it too.
we still emailed each other, mostly at times of weakness and always told each other ‘I love you’. Even this new year, 12.05, I was messaging him because he was in my head. When he joined Facebook, 6 months ago, I was the first person he added. He lives in Tenerefe now, he has his own business and I have a loving family and a wonderful, dedicated and loving partner.
He announced his engagement 11 days after his birthday. I was under the impression that he was single, so to hear that he was engaged smashed my heart into tiny pieces. I can’t stop crying and the pain is unbearable. My insides feel likethey are about to burst me open. We live hundreds of miles apart. His business is doing well and my family joyfully tie me to the UK. We split up nearly TEN years ago. Why won’t my heart heal? I think about him every day.
Somebody must know how to fix my soul and learn to move on.