(Closed) My ex is talking trash about me, and it hurt my feelings…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 1
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

My ex and I dated for 5 years. We’ve been broken up since 2005.

When we first split, he was SO happy to be without me; he moved in with his friends and was having the time of his life. He said we could remain friends though, so we did. When I met someone new, as soon as my ex found out, he was crushed. We stopped being friends shortly thereafter.

Once a year, he contacts my best friend, and asks her how SHE’S doing, and then throws in a random question about me too. So she called him out on it (“Why do you message me, just to ask about AquaGrey?”) so he stopped messaging her last year.

Well today, one of his friends (whom I’m still friends with, via Facebook,) posted a really, really old picture of him, back when we had been dating. And he commented and said something like “If I ever get a second life, I’d make different choices. Mainly, I’d never move in with AquaGrey.”

This hurt my feelings… the guy is a total jerk, we had many problems, and I don’t love him at all anymore but, within those 5 years, I experienced so many new things (concerts, road trips, I lost my virginity to him, my first real job, parties, etc), and so many happy memories live there.

I look back on that time and smile… because I’m thankful that I got to experience them. He just seems bitter and bitchy and miserable about it.

So I feel stupid for looking back and being happy about the good times, because apparently he looks back and hates it.

I just needed to tell someone about this. 🙁

Post # 3
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

He is being a total bitch about it. If I were you, I would feel sad for him that he hasn’t gotten over whatever it is that he’s hung up on right now.

People who feel good about themselves don’t do stupid things like comment passive-aggressive bs on facebook. Gah, what a loser!

Post # 4
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

@Double_rainbow:  He even sent me an email a year ago that said: “Congrats on your blog, and finding yourself.”

He patronizes me, and then talks crap about me. 

I just feel like an idiot… 

Whenever I think about the first time I saw a certain band, and it was with him, I cringe… because even though that memory is amazing, I feel gross being happy about it, because he’s being so cruel and bratty.

His current Girlfriend has gone off and said awful things about me and has made fun of how I look, like this is the 6th grade or something.

It’s just so bananas it makes me furious.

Post # 5
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’d like the comment, as if to say ‘screw you too’ lol.

It actually reminds me of a meme I saw. It’s saying the difference between girls and guys in break ups is that girls are sad for the first day, and guys are happy. In a month, girls are doing ok, guys are starting to get upset, then in a year, the girl is happy and the guy is crying over her.

Don’t be sad about it. His current perception is changing how he views his past.

Post # 6
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

@AquaGrey8962:  I know how you feel. Its so crappy that a petty boy has to let out hurt feelings by bashing you. My ex and I have mutual feiends and I run into him at least once a year. Once we were all in a car together (at the time “attempting” to be friends) and I had our friend drop me off at my brothers house to pick up my car. My ex then made some lame statment like “Is that your new boyfriends house? Or is he just a good f*** buddy for you” I looked at him and said it was my brothers house but why would he even care, he broke up with me and I’m free to do what I want now. He quickly said “I don’t care one way or another if you sleep with the whole block, that’s all you were good for anyway.” I was appalled at his attitude, and really hurt by his words. To this day whenever I see him at a friends house I just want to punch him. 

Your ex is just hurt you’ve moved on. Men have a need to feel like we can’t live without them. Its pathetic and infentile I say cut your losses and ignore his jealous, pathetic rantings. He’s trying to let the world see that he’s over you when he clearly wishes he still had you.

HUGS***

Post # 7
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

@NurseMandie:  Oh wow, that’s terrible! I cant believe your ex said that to you!

Ugh. It just makes me mad that at one point in my life, I thought this guy was the absolute best. When he broke up with me, I remember saying out loud “no one will ever be as funny/smart/witty/loving as (Ex name).” I wish I could travel back in time and slap myself, lol.

Post # 8
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Try not to let it/him get to you too much. If he has to talk crap about you (especially online… does it get any more passive-aggressive than that?), it’s more than likely just to make himself feel better… Guys usually do stuff like that because they realize they made a mistake and don’t want to admit it to themselves, let alone anyone else, so they talk crap to boost their own confidence. And if his girlfriend has to try making fun of the way you look- she probably feels threatened by you! Immature people really suck… It says nothing about you at all, but A LOT about both of them, for sure.

Hold on to your good memories, and just leave it at that, who cares about him or how he felt? It’s the past, and I’m sure you have much better things in your present/future than to care about him. Keep your chin up. =)

Post # 9
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Pathetic. He just cant move on realizing he gave up something wonderful and he cant accept the fact that you’ve moved on and is now happy without him. I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said about the 5 years you’ve been together. He’s just hurt or maybe his ego is, and that is his lame way of dealing with it. Just ignore him. Sooner or later when he matures, he’ll stop.

Post # 10
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

@AquaGrey8962:  I hear you there. My ex used to play horrible mind games with me after we broke up. He’d say things like “You know I still care about you” “Sometimes I’m lying in bed and I just miss you terribly” He’d text me to come over so we could “hand out” and watch movies or listen to music, something we did a lot and enjoyed doing. Of course I’d come over thinking we would be getting back together after talking things out fora few weeks, we’d have sex. Then he’d ignore me for a few days and say things to his friends like “She’s a psycho, she won’t accept the fact that we broke up and keeps coming over to hang out” WHAT?!?! Finally I told him that his “d***” wasn’t all he thought it was and I was done being his “booty call”.

Post # 11
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

He’s an ex for a reason. 

You’re obviously better off without him 🙂

Post # 12
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be tempted to say something like “It’s funny how one of us is STILL obsessing over the other.” 😛

Post # 13
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

so i don’t see the problem.  if it was an ideal relationship wouldn’t you still be with him?  who cares what he says about you … you’ve moved on to happier times.

Post # 14
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@NurseMandie:  Oh my gosh, it’s like all the douchebags have a playbook with a few favorite  moves!  I had an ex once do the EXACT same thing to me!  He would tell me how much he missed me and how he wanted to hang, then turn around and call me a psycho stalker to all of our mutual friends.  Ugh… took me quite a long time to get my ego back after that guy. 

Post # 15
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

@peasantsong:  Men can be total douchebags. Its so sad that they toy with out emotions to make them feel like King of the World and stroke their egos and act like we’re the ones with emotional issues. Everytime I see him I just want to shove his face in food, or give him a swirly or something lol. I know I shouldn’t give a rats ass but it makes me so mad that I cried over him for months after our breakup when all he did was emotionally abuse me. Luckily I only see him once a year and when I do I’m with my Fiance so I appreciate my Fiance so much more, its like a vivid reminder why ex and I broke up and how I shouldn’t let my Fiance go, ever.

Post # 16
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

LOL! I agree with  @Lovemelovemyhorses, I would totally like the comment! Such a snarky thing to do. 

But in all honesty, I get where you’re coming from. I had an ex who would text me from time to time throughout my relationship with Darling Husband, asking if the wedding was “still on” and such. Up until recently, I didn’t want to tell him to never text me again because I was worried he’d start talking shit around our small town and make unwanted drama. However, I finally told him to leave me alone (after he texted me the DAY OF MY WEDDING) and now he’s doing exactly what I feared: telling everyone we were friends with about what a bitch I am, how I led him on (bs!) and blahblahblah. It sucks, but I’m just glad to be rid of his dumb ass and moved on with my lovely DH! 🙂 I’d just let it roll off your back.

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