Post # 1
So my recent ex of a little over a month messaged one of my friends on Facebook the other night. He messaged her saying he knows it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other (this is someone he met once two years ago) and see how she was doing. She answered asking if something was up (I was with her and asked her to do this) and he replied saying no, she just seemed like a cool person and he wanted to get to know her more. She then responded saying it made her uncomfortable because he knows she’s friends with me. He replied back saying he can’t say he didn’t understand, he was “just trying to live and leave no stones unturned”
i want to text him and let him know that of course I would find out about this, and to also tell him how wrong this was. Should I or should I just not give him the satisfaction and ignore it?
Post # 2
He’s not your boyfriend. You don’t get to scold him. It wasn’t “so wrong” of him. It really only matters what your friend did with it – which was tell you. Who he dates is no concern of yours. Laugh this one off, he obviously got shut down.
Post # 3
You don’t know why he reached out to her, it could even be that he found her attractive and was trying to start something. It could also be that he did it knowing that it would get back to you, but after a month, I don’t find that likely.
I would just ignore it and not contact him.
Post # 4
Let it go. Your friend already put him in his place. If you contact him now you’re going to come across as one of those crazy exes.
Post # 5
He’s your ex boyfriend. He can talk to whomever he wants to.
Post # 6
DO NOT TEXT. You are letting him win if you let him know he’s getting to you. Be happy in the fact that you are no longer with someone like that!
Post # 7
He’s your ex. He’s allowed to talk to whoever he wants for whatever reason he wants. Texting him that “you would find out about this” is dumb. He hasn’t committed a crime, and so what if he thinks your friend was hot and wanted to see if there was an opportunity? This is only between him and your friend, and while she made the decision to involve you in the conversation, this whole scenario doesn’t involve you at all.
Let it go.
Post # 8
I agree with everyone else, you’ll come off as crazy if you try to follow up about this. Honestly it sounds like a perfectly respectful interaction: he expressed interest, she declined, he said he understood and backed off. I get why it bugs you that he’s reaching out to your friends, but you need to process your break up and move on. Contacting him will only make things worse.
Post # 9
I was about to write a whole thing about how you shouldn’t care about this, but then I realized you only broke up a month ago. So of course you care, everything is still fresh and raw. But just take it as yet another piece of evidence that shows y’all are not good for each other. A month after breaking up and this guy is hitting on your friend? Not cool – to me there’s an unspoken code about that sort of thing and your ex is violating it.
I’m at the point where I wouldn’t care if my friends dated any of my exes because all those relationships ended ages ago and I just have no feelings at all about them…but if an ex had hit on one of my friends a mere month after the breakup I would have probably felt very differently about it.
Post # 11
I think that was a shitty thing for him to do. He knew that his contact so soon after your breakup would get back to you so he’s trying to hurt you or doesn’t care if he does. Either way, do you want to be in contact with someone like that? You’re getting off easy. Ignore him.
Post # 12
Sorry bee. He’s not your boyfriend anymore. He can text/date whoever he wants to and you have zero say in it. Your friend didn’t keep the matter private and she didn’t entertain him so the only thing you have any right to worry about was handled.
Post # 13
You guys are right, it just bothers me since in my opinion, it’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. There are tons of people out there, he doesn’t need to be going after one of my friends. I wouldn’t do that to him.
Post # 14
He has every right to date someone, even if it is your friend, or a sister, since you two have broken up. Sure it will be awkward, and out of respect for you, your friend or sister or whoever he is interested in that is close to you, should shut him down, but even if they didn’t, you should just let it go.
Edit: Saw your update. I dunno. If you guys were dating and had the same circle of friends, I think it’s pretty normal of him to develop feelings for someone within your circle. Anyway, an ex is an ex. You’ve broken up. Time to shimmy along.
Post # 15
we were not in the same circle of friends, it’s one of my friends who he only ever met once, two years ago when we were newly dating. I do agree with your point though.