MY EX PROPOSED TO ME

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
9213 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think B’s irrelevant since you’ve only been seeing him a few months and even if he’s a complete dud, it’s absolute hells to the no on A.

Post # 17
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee

Do not marry a man hoping he will change. He will not. 

Post # 18
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Tell your stupid heart to shut the fuck up and tell your stupid ex to go eat a bag of dicks. 

You may feel that you love him but your brain needs to take the lead here and move you away from this person and this situation. You can and will fall in love again and love is SO much greater when you’re not trying to make a dirtbag into a husband and saying ridiculous shit like “he cheated on me again.”

Girl. Wut? You only have two boys in your town or something? 

DO NOT get back with him. And let go of Guy B, too. You clearly aren’t available for a relationship at the moment, since you’re still tracking your ex.

Post # 19
Member
886 posts
Busy bee

I assume from your username you may have been born in 1998? Which would make you 20 or 21. Your young age is showing right through this post. And I don’t mean that in a bad way! I was 20 once too. You do seem a bit immature to be making a monumental decision about marriage. Give A the boot once and for all and move on. There are other fish besides A and B in the sea, I promise. Go live life and don’t think about marriage for a few years.

Post # 20
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

So, he proposed to that girl he was cheating on you with. She didn’t want him, so he came to you. Even if that did not happen, you are still his second option. 

People don’t propose to get someone back, that lala stuff is what we see in movies. People ask for forgiveness and work on the relationship to see if it will work out better than it did before, and go from there. 

It looks like you have a great guy that treats you well and cares about you. It would be a shame to throw that all away for “loser A” because “B” might not be available when “A” breaks your heart and leaves you for someone else. 

Post # 21
Member
8835 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

ultra1998 :  Why are you ok being someone’s second choice? He dumped you for someone else, it didn’t work out, so now you’re good enough. How does that feel? He probably bought the ring for her and she said no. So now you’re getting her sloppy seconds in both the ring AND the guy. Gross. He’s asking you to marry him because he knows you’ll give him all the benefits of a wife and still accept him having side-pieces. What went wrong in your life to make you think this is what you deserve?

Post # 22
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

is your screen name your birth year?

if so that makes you 21 and you where with A since 17?

that must seem like a long time at your age but you are still very young, you can start again and B might be the right guy for you.

Post # 23
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

caitlinbee :  Ive been proposed to to ‘get me back’ after cheating by 2 different guys and had it suggested by another, It DOES happen but its manipulative bullshit and a HUGE red flag (I accepted the first because I was 18 and in love, he continued to cheat then tried to beat me up when I caught him. The second guy I had learned my lesson and laughed in his face as I gave him his packed bags).

Post # 24
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

sept20 :  i should clarify, I meant that only happens in movies when they come back with a proposal, are immediately married and you live happily ever. It’s okay for men to come back to work on a relationship and then take it from there, sometimes it will work out, sometimes it won’t. 

I completely agree with you that coming back with a proposal is 💯 manipulative.  Good job knowing you deserve better! 

Post # 25
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee

Why is this even a question?

Post # 26
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Your relationship with A seems very toxic. I know how hard it is to see when you’re in a back and forth relationship because I did it…for 6 years. I understand how people can see the red flags but you can’t because you think you love him. Trust me, that’s not love. I say this as someone who spent 6 years consumed by someone who was awful to and for me. If you stay with him due to lack of self esteem (as I did), you probably don’t feel that you’re worth more than this relationship or that it must mean he really cares because he came back. Trust me, I understand all those feelings but listen when we say that he’s not good for you!

 

Take time to get to know yourself, that’s what I’m doing now at 28. Trying to repair almost 3 decades of low self esteem that lead me to destructive relationships. There is something better out there for you.

Post # 27
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Both are bad choices. Be single, get your life together. Then date. 

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