(Closed) My ex says he's possessed and doesn't trust anyone but me

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I hope some bees in the mental health profession can give you some good advice, but prepare to be descended upon by people who do not know what they are talking about. You need professional help to get him professional help, if that’s what you choose to do. I wouldn’t cut off contact with him though, if you are the only person who can reach him. He sounds like he really, really needs help or this could become a very tragic situation. Good luck.

Post # 4
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Woah. I don’t really have any advice for you but I don’t think there is anything you can do. He obviously has some mental issues. I think the only thing that can help him at this time is to be put into a medical institution where they can identify the problem and where doctors can treat him appropriately. I’m not sure how you could go about getting him admitted since you care about him and are worried but at the same time I don’t think it is your responsibility- it’s his families.


Wish I could be of more help but hang in there!

Post # 5
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh my gosh–what a terrible situation! Is there any kind of Adult Protective Services or any services that could do an adult welfare check in your area? The fact that he’s admitted to trying to harm himself as well as others (trying to burn down the house) I would think would be enough to get him in for a psych evaluation. 

Wow, I’m so sorry you are going though this. It sounds like a sad situation for everyone involved. I wish I could give better advice, but I really have no idea how you might go about getting him help. 

Post # 6
660 posts
Busy bee

what a terrifying situation. i agree with the other posters, this is definitely a case where a professional intervention is necessary. i would maybe follow up with his sister so she understands the severity of what he’s saying and that she is making sure he gets help. it might be helpful for you to document your conversation with him and send it to her – so they have something to share with a psychiarist/therapist/etc? maybe your friend can steer you in the best direction. good luck and hang in there, im sure it’s very frustrating as there’s not much you can do. 

Post # 7
141 posts
Blushing bee

Firstly, I would like to say that I am so sorry that you are in this position. I cannot imagine the amount of insecurity, confusion, and fear/uneasiness that you muct be feeling. I understand that you are unsure of what to do – I mean, who wouldn’t be in this situation?! Please do not take what I have to say incorrectly, I am by no means down-playing the situation you’re currently in.

That being said, I feel almost as if the mainstreamed media and irrationalization of possessions and fear have made people almost crave their “15 minutes of fame.” I am not saying that this is a joke, not at all, but I do hope that your ex takes some time to speak to a professional about what he feels is occuring in his life. I hope that, in trusting you, he realizes that in order to be a better person for others and for himself, that professional help is needed – soley because you are in no position to help him. You aren’t a trained professional yourself.

Again, I do believe that posessions, while few and far between, are something that can happen – I would not immediately jump to the conclusion that I am possessed just because I am experiencing paranoia or irrational thoughts. I hope that the both of you will be okay, and that both of you can grow and heal throuhg this ordeal.

Post # 8
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If he says he is hearing voices that are telling him to hurt himself, he needs professional psychiatric help. In many places, just saying you’re hearing voices that are telling you to kill yourself would be enough to warrant a legally-enforced psychiatric evaluation and observation period. I strongly suggest you call the police in the city where this man lives, and let them know what he’s said, and see if they’re able to take him for evaluation if he’s not willing to go on his own. 

Post # 9
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

ayudame:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your ex-boyfriend are going through. 

I did a quick search and found this website that might be helpful for you: http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/get-help/respond-in-a-crisis

I know that you don’t really want to be drawn into this situation, so maybe you could get his sister to handle it.   It seems to me that an involuntary psychiatric hospitalization might be beneficial, because at least he could get diagnosed?  He is a danger to himself and his family, if he’s already tried to burn the house down once, and tried to commit suicide.  

Again, I’m so sorry.  I hope he can get the help he needs.

Post # 11
807 posts
Busy bee

ayudame:  If you are concerned about his and others saftey there are several options.

1)If he confides in you and you feel comfortable, you may want to see if he would be willing to voluntarily check himself into the hospital (most prefered option). 

2) I don’t know what state you live in, but if he doesn’t go voluntarily, and you are concerned that he is in iminent danger of harming himself or others, you can have him 5150’d. 

It seems like he really needs to be on medication and/or therapy. There could be a wide range of different diagnosis he could have given his presenting symptoms, but only a professional will be able to assist him. Many times, some medication and therapy makes all the difference.

I also want to say that although I’m currently finishing up my PhD in Clinical Psychology and work with patients like this, every case is different and the best thing for him would be to have him seen by a professional.

Post # 12
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - On the Beach in Negril, Jamaica

First, I’d like to start out by saying what a good friend you are for being there for him. I know exactly how you feel and have been there myself with two very close people in my life. It’s not easy and it takes a very strong individual to be able to withstand the ups and downs that come with it, not even getting into the amount of stress it puts on you.

In BOTH of those situations I found out later that it was drugs causing the paranoia (crack cocaine and crystal meth) and radical beliefs. Both situations I had no clue any of that was going on. It was a very rude awakening once everything came to surface. I had a very difficult time trying to figure out whether or not what they were saying was real or just their delusions. Unless there is some form of birth defect, I don’t see any other reason why a 28 year old man would be having a stroke unless there has been abuse of some kind of stimulating substance on an alarmingly LARGE scale. It would also explain the drastic weightloss.

In saying that, I don’t know him or his situation. I’m just letting you know what I have been through and I never would’ve thought that’s what it could have been until it was blatantly in my face. I had no other choice but to believe that’s what it was due to the overwhelming amount of drugs and paraphernalia I came across after they had been arrested. I had to search and clean out the house before they could return. Please keep in mind that if this is what he is going through he has a very long road ahead of him.

The emotional repercussions that are left over after years of drug abuse are extreme as well. One of the above mentioned cases resulted in a grown woman reverting back to a childlike state with alot of crying, rocking in corners and walking around in her diaper and a t-shirt. I didn’t realize how much everything fit together until someone brought it to my attention just as I am doing for you now. Good luck and bless you for being there for him. One person can make all of the difference in the world to someone who is manic. 


EDIT: I hate to be the person that brings this up, but it all just sounds way to familiar for me to just be a voyer on this thread.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  Jaqueeg3.
Post # 13
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh boy what a tough situation. May I ask how old he is/was when he first started exhibiting these symptom?  Often paranoid schizophrenia will first start to manifest in the mid 20s. His behavior certainly ticks some of those boxes but 

Jaqueeg3:  makes a good point that drugs can cause paranoia as well. You’re a great friend to keep looking out for him. At this point I’m not sure there’s much you can do unless he threatens his life or someon else’s. In that case call the po,ice and they may place him on a psyc hold for 72 hours)-the 5150 hold another poster referred to. Keep in contact with his family to see if the can help. Mental illness is a tough one, particularly when the person is paranoid. It makes it very, very hard to get him effective treatment and ensure medication compliance. 

ETA: just saw the part where you mentioned he had a stroke.  Depending on where in the brain the damage occured, it can cause major personality changes. Do you know if he’s still seeing his doctors?  I can’t imagine he could hide that kind of behavior from them. Because of HIPPA and that no one has power of attorney, there is very little you can do except maybe ask his family to contact his doctors about his behavior to see if they can do anything without involving the police. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  .
Post # 14
2509 posts
Sugar bee

ayudame:  Unfortunately YOU can’t do anything. He is mentally unstable and needs professional help and I hope he gets it. It must be miserable for him and his family.

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